Stressin

[skadforlife]

This weekend was kind of rough. My sister came down from Tallahassee, which was a good thing. The problem is that my mom sets up expectations for how she wants things to be, and thus she tries to be controlling of the situation. I in turn get frustrated, and I revert to my old habits of manipulating, complainging, and making this all around more

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[skadforlife]

I'm glad you enjoy reading my updates. The funny thing is when I use to update it would be to get some sort of validation from other people. Now it is for me, so that I can see what I do through out my day and how I feel about it. It helps me validate myself. I also enjoy reading you're updates. When it's actually you of course.

My reasons for not talking to her about how I feel right now is that if my goal is to have a relationship with her eventually, I must wait till we are both ready. She asked me today why I didn't say hi to her brother on Sunday (Which I did she just didn't notice), and I asked her if she said Hi to her Ex. She told me that she had come to the realization that he is not the person she liked when he is clean. That is a realization I came up with like a month back because a relationship one has before getting clean is based upon old ideas and old behaviors. When you get clean you must change all of your ideas and all of your behaviors. So it could not work.

I also made it a point to tell her that I figured that already, but it would have been pointless to tell her that. Some things you just have to find out on your own.

I'm waiting till she is done with treatment which is another month and a half away to discuss my feelings if I still have them. She has a good chance of that for she is damn cute.