(no subject)

Jan 04, 2005 16:30

OK guys...brace yourselves...its time for another "Beth's trying to figure out how she feels so she's going to ramble on and on on live journal" post.

Is it possible to love someone, even though they hurt you? I mean, sometimes we just think we love someone as a security blanket or a compensation, or just for that way they look at you, but what about the nights when you're crying yourself to sleep because you dont know if that person really feels the same about you? is that love? or lust?

I guess to answer this question, you have to go back to the essential questions that have baffled mankind for centuries: Is there such thing as destined or true love? Is there such thing at love at first sight? Can these perceptions be wrong? Is there really such thing as what is "meant to be"? And if so, can that which is "meant to be" be altered by our concious actions?

I always believed in love at first sight, and if not at first sight, by first kiss. I believe in the "fireworks" story and that when you find the real person for yourself, you'll know it by the kiss. Or so I thought. Is it possible to have the "first look" and "first kiss" butterflies but nothing really meant to come out of it? Or are the "firsts" butterflies a sign of a real connection, but has been faught off by will? I guess the point I'm trying to come to is, can we resist what is meant to be, or is that we say is "meant to be" merely of our own will? Is destiny merely a contrived mixture of coincidence and will?

All my life, people have told me, "What is meant to be will be". What if I dont like what is meant to be? What if I want to change fate; change my plan? Or what if I'm completely happy with what wasnt meant to be? Once again, too many retorical questions. OK, one more to prove my point: If what is meant to be (or is so contrived) doesnt make me happy, do I have the free will to settle for what wasnt meant to be at all? Or is this ultimately only making that which was not fate, become fate? So what is meant to be will always be. I guess fate is only our subconcious happiness which develops out of acceptance and taking advantage of the circumstances presented to you.

I guess now that we have concluded that fate is only the acceptance of the circumstances, wouldnt that make love at first sight impossible? Fate can not present itself if there are no true circumstances to accept. However, love could be acknowledged at first kiss. Since that is merely manipulating and accepting the circumstances; manipulating in the sense of presenting and factoring in emotions as an influence. But what if our perception of love is wrong? Is there such a thing as real love and unreal love? I think that one's perception of what is love can be false, thereby altering their idea of love, but the feeling of love is always genuine. The love you felt for the little boy that sat across from you in preschool is equal to that of the love you feel for your husband of 50 years. Love is a matter of perception, and that perception changes and alters itself as you become wiser, right? But accepting that there is more than one person that you love doesn't always mean that it is true love.

Once again, that takes us back to the original question: Can "true love" hurt us? Well, to start off, what is true love? From the acceptance that true love is the outward expression of fate, and we have already concluded that fate is merely the acceptance of the circumstances, wouldnt that just make "true love" contentment with your relationship? So we thereby conclude that there can be more than one "true love" in this world. Now, can true love hurt us? Well, from the previous conclusion, no. Because if it was true love, that would signify contentment. If one was content, one wouldnt hurt. What if one decides that the hurt is worth it? No matter how badly someone makes them feel worthless and stupid, they still believe taht they love this person. Can that love be true love? I believe yes it can, because remember, true love comes from contentment with the circumstances.

Therefore, we concluded that there is no such thing as love at first sight, there is such thing as true love (if even only as contentment), you can love more than one person, your perception of love changes, but love is always a genuine feeling, what is meant to be is only acceptance of the circumstances, and love, and true love for that matter, can hurt us.

So i shouldnt break up with him

Love you all!

Beth

PS. Daniel, i know you're the only one that can understand this plus my rambling state of mind, so please let me know what you think.
Previous post Next post
Up