Aftermath
Thats right im back i need some one to vent to someone that will be here that i can just spill to
well here we go...
Last night was very emotional she had told me it was over, i was hit like a mack truck by emotions for hours i was lost got no sympathy where ever i had turned parents telling me to let it go , my best friend telling me "not to take it so hard" "there are many fish in the sea"
But how can some one that has been your friend for just shy of 4 years and a girlfriend for one just be let go not that have hate for her or that im mad or jealous of her. it is because i love her. i feel that apart of me has been removed ripped pryed from my grasps. It was so hard taking apart that damn wall. every staple seemed like another jab of a knife it felt as though i was draining out. Even everysong i put on i think of her and memories.
Last night i just lay there trying to sort myself out. i ended up passing out with the stitch she gave me for christmas close to my heart holding on for dear life. i awoke this morning still hurting like the prior night but with even more thoughts on my mind i had dreamt about the one thing i had ever truely given up the true stress reliever in my life baseball.. it felt so real the feel of the laces on my finger the feel of the rubber on my cleats my ass sitting on the hard bench when not on the mound ... then the voice came and took it all away my grandma " dan its 8:20 you have class at 9:00 its time to get up" sigh it wasnt real. i took my quick morning shower like usual then looked over at my computer and she was "there" she had IMed me appologizing for the IM which i ddnt care that she did i thought it was nice of her to wish me happy anniversary we had just merely missed. i wished it back with a slight smile on my face and went to skool.
After arriving 15-20 min later in which seemed like for ever due to the majority of love songs that brought on memories i went to class in which was the place i decided what to do
i came home after sociology with the 3 hrs b4 my next class instead of my normal library visit in which i would be checking up on here . i gathered all that i had planned packed it filled out the needed things and went out to send it on its journey to her. i hope it touches her as much as it touches me ... i hope she cherishes it like she says she will i hope we can make it through these rough times
well here we go...
Last night was very emotional she had told me it was over, i was hit like a mack truck by emotions for hours i was lost got no sympathy where ever i had turned parents telling me to let it go , my best friend telling me "not to take it so hard" "there are many fish in the sea"
But how can some one that has been your friend for just shy of 4 years and a girlfriend for one just be let go not that have hate for her or that im mad or jealous of her. it is because i love her. i feel that apart of me has been removed ripped pryed from my grasps. It was so hard taking apart that damn wall. every staple seemed like another jab of a knife it felt as though i was draining out. Even everysong i put on i think of her and memories.
Last night i just lay there trying to sort myself out. i ended up passing out with the stitch she gave me for christmas close to my heart holding on for dear life. i awoke this morning still hurting like the prior night but with even more thoughts on my mind i had dreamt about the one thing i had ever truely given up the true stress reliever in my life baseball.. it felt so real the feel of the laces on my finger the feel of the rubber on my cleats my ass sitting on the hard bench when not on the mound ... then the voice came and took it all away my grandma " dan its 8:20 you have class at 9:00 its time to get up" sigh it wasnt real. i took my quick morning shower like usual then looked over at my computer and she was "there" she had IMed me appologizing for the IM which i ddnt care that she did i thought it was nice of her to wish me happy anniversary we had just merely missed. i wished it back with a slight smile on my face and went to skool.
After arriving 15-20 min later in which seemed like for ever due to the majority of love songs that brought on memories i went to class in which was the place i decided what to do
i came home after sociology with the 3 hrs b4 my next class instead of my normal library visit in which i would be checking up on here . i gathered all that i had planned packed it filled out the needed things and went out to send it on its journey to her. i hope it touches her as much as it touches me ... i hope she cherishes it like she says she will i hope we can make it through these rough times