For You (continuation)
It's been a while since I've written to you baby girl, it's been a while since I've written anything for that matter. Like I've said before I hope you get to read these thoughts when you're older. Because my language can be filthy God damn it, and these thoughts can only really be grasped by a more mature mind than the one you have now.
I don't know why I haven't written, I guess I still feel a bit of a broken man. I conquered depression, I had my downs, then I finally attained the kind of mind I wanted. Peace of mind was mine, and some how I lost it. I've lost something I haven't been able to find again.
I've sacrificed a lot of things for you, in fact I sacrificed the thing I loved the most in this world, because I received something that I loved even more than anything in this world. You.
Emotionally I feel detached most of the time, I have been walking this Earth like that for a while. The world could of burned and it wouldn't of mattered to me, but that's different now. Because when I look at you, when I hold you, when I hear your laugh or see your smile, I feel something. I feel something not even I can describe with words. And I'm fucking great at expressing with words.
You are the only real thing I care about, like I've said before you breathed life back into a withering spirit. But that's not enough, I realize that now. I have to rise again, I have to fight again. Or my apathy will be my doom.
My princess, my warrior princess, what kind of a father will you see? I try my best to instill the spirit of a warrior inside of you, even at this early age. Because I have lived both with and without embodying this spirit, and I know the difference it can make in every fucking aspect of your life. I know what it is to be weak, to be helpless, to seek pity, just like I know what it is to be strong, to be determined, to be envied.
I hope that you do take this from me, that I can pass it on to you. Because the world is growing soft, minds are becoming dull, hearts are weak, and I don't want you to have this disease. I want your mind to be sharp, your heart iron, and your spirit pure. A warrior knows how to be ruthless just as well as he knows how to be generous, compassionate. A warrior will help all that he can, and destroy all those that would do harm. Being a warrior is being a complete human being, a walking paradox.
I want you to always be able to trust the voice inside of yourself, and not be infected by exterior noise. There is a voice inside us all, a voice that tells us right from wrong, and this is the voice you must always listen to. Be able to always tune this one in and all the others out. All the others like fear, hate, insecurity, authority, laziness, and so many more. There is a voice that should here loder than all of these, louder than the voice of any priest or politician, louder than mine, one that comes from your core. Always follow it, anywhere it leads you has a purpose, even if you don't understand it at the time.
Follow it, what might seem like a mistake you will later reflect and realize there was a lesson to be learned, and this is why bad things happen. Always trust your own intuition baby girl, never let anyone lead you to doubt that. You are a warrior princess, treat yourself like one, act like one, and help lead others to realize this about themselves as well.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.
I don't know why I haven't written, I guess I still feel a bit of a broken man. I conquered depression, I had my downs, then I finally attained the kind of mind I wanted. Peace of mind was mine, and some how I lost it. I've lost something I haven't been able to find again.
I've sacrificed a lot of things for you, in fact I sacrificed the thing I loved the most in this world, because I received something that I loved even more than anything in this world. You.
Emotionally I feel detached most of the time, I have been walking this Earth like that for a while. The world could of burned and it wouldn't of mattered to me, but that's different now. Because when I look at you, when I hold you, when I hear your laugh or see your smile, I feel something. I feel something not even I can describe with words. And I'm fucking great at expressing with words.
You are the only real thing I care about, like I've said before you breathed life back into a withering spirit. But that's not enough, I realize that now. I have to rise again, I have to fight again. Or my apathy will be my doom.
My princess, my warrior princess, what kind of a father will you see? I try my best to instill the spirit of a warrior inside of you, even at this early age. Because I have lived both with and without embodying this spirit, and I know the difference it can make in every fucking aspect of your life. I know what it is to be weak, to be helpless, to seek pity, just like I know what it is to be strong, to be determined, to be envied.
I hope that you do take this from me, that I can pass it on to you. Because the world is growing soft, minds are becoming dull, hearts are weak, and I don't want you to have this disease. I want your mind to be sharp, your heart iron, and your spirit pure. A warrior knows how to be ruthless just as well as he knows how to be generous, compassionate. A warrior will help all that he can, and destroy all those that would do harm. Being a warrior is being a complete human being, a walking paradox.
I want you to always be able to trust the voice inside of yourself, and not be infected by exterior noise. There is a voice inside us all, a voice that tells us right from wrong, and this is the voice you must always listen to. Be able to always tune this one in and all the others out. All the others like fear, hate, insecurity, authority, laziness, and so many more. There is a voice that should here loder than all of these, louder than the voice of any priest or politician, louder than mine, one that comes from your core. Always follow it, anywhere it leads you has a purpose, even if you don't understand it at the time.
Follow it, what might seem like a mistake you will later reflect and realize there was a lesson to be learned, and this is why bad things happen. Always trust your own intuition baby girl, never let anyone lead you to doubt that. You are a warrior princess, treat yourself like one, act like one, and help lead others to realize this about themselves as well.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.