Meant to Be 18/? (SG-1 Sam/Janet femslash)
"Hey, sweetie, you okay?" Janet looked over at Sam as she buckled herself into the passenger seat in the car.
"I'm okay," Sam sounded just a bit too cheerful to Janet's ears.
Janet leaned over and took her hand. "It'll be okay, honey," she said in a soft voice.
Sam looked at her, about to demur, when she realized she had been busted. She gave a small smile. "I know," she said quietly. "I just hate it. Even with you as my doctor," she said apologetically.
"I know you do, Sam," Janet replied. "But it's gonna be easy today. I'm just going to check if there's any improvement in your lung capacity, and then...." she smiled at Sam.
"And then you're gonna take this damned cast off!" Sam smiled in return. "But then there's the scan. I'm sorry, Jan, I just hate waiting for results."
"You won't have to wait," Janet promised her. "We'll get all the results straight away."
"And then you'll have a clearer idea of when I can go back on duty. If I ever can," Sam voiced her biggest concern.
Janet squeezed her fingers. "I don't think we're gonna be able to determine that today," she said. "Today's just about measuring your progress so far. Okay?" her voice was tender and loving.
Sam nodded, and tried to turn away so Janet wouldn't see her eyes glistening with emotion. Very gently, Janet cupped her face and turned it toward her. She kissed Sam softly on the lips. "I love you," she whispered.
Sam nodded, her throat suddenly constricted.
= = =
"Once more," Janet held the peak flow meter to Sam's lips. "We need an average of three," she explained.
Sam blew as hard as she could into the plastic mouthpiece. Janet smiled, and noted down some figures.
"Well?" Sam demanded.
"It's good, Sam," Janet kept the smile fixed on her face.
"Any improvement from last time?" Sam wanted facts and figures.
Janet put a hand on her arm. "Not yet," she said gently. "Just the same. But it's still good. For someone who had severe pneumonia, you're doing real good."
Sam nodded. "Okay," she tried to hide her disappointment. She smiled at her lover. "So what about this damned thing?" she tapped on her cast. "I cannot wait for you to take this off."
Janet grinned. "Yes ma'am," she saluted comically. "There's one drawback though," she was determined to bring some levity into the situation.
"What's that?" Sam demanded.
"You'll have to shave both legs again!" Janet grinned.
"Oh my God," Sam realized. "I hate to think what it'll look like. You have to promise not to look. Not until I've shaved."
"Nuh uh," Janet smiled. "Doctor's privilege. Anyways," she smirked. "I need to know."
"Need to know what?" Sam demanded suspiciously.
"If you're gonna be wanting to audition for Planet of the Apes!" she ducked as Sam tried to swat her.
= = =
"I'm gonna requisition me one of those," Sam mused as Janet worked her way down her leg with the miniature circular saw that she always used to take casts off patients. "It'd be real useful in my lab."
Janet smiled, as she reached her toes. "Okay," she said, "here goes, you ready?"
"Oh God yes," Sam said. "I can't wait to have a good scratch!"
Janet levered the cast apart, and eased it from under Sam's leg.
Sam covered her eyes dramatically, but couldn't hide her grin. "So tell me the worst, doctor," she said, "am I gonna need a flame thrower to clear the vegetation?"
She opened her eyes to see Janet running her hand lovingly down her calf. Janet fingered the fine, soft, golden hairs that were barely visible. There were tears in her eyes as she inspected the scars. "You're so beautiful," her voice hitched. She looked up at Sam.
Sam's heart melted at the love and tenderness in Janet's face. "Kiss me," she asked in a quiet voice. So Janet did.
= = =
"Well the bones have knitted well," Janet smiled, as she consulted the computer screen in front of her. "We'll start you on physical therapy right away. See how much movement we can get back."
"And the lungs?" Sam tried to keep her voice even. She knew that there was no way she could return to active duty unless her lungs improved. She still suffered regular coughing fits, and several times she had woken at night to find Janet holding the nebulizer over her face. The leg she could work on. And she would work. As long and as hard as she possibly could. But lungs weren't something that could be fixed with exercise.
Janet looked at her, trying to meet her gaze. "There is some scarring," she admitted eventually. "We have to just hope that in time it'll dissipate."
"But that's not likely, is it?" Sam asked her directly. "It's unlikely to ever heal completely."
"We can't know that," Janet said.
"It's a possibility, though, right?" Sam asked. "A strong possibility."
Janet nodded. "Yeah," she said. "I'm sorry, Sam."
Sam nodded, trying to hold it all together. Despite her efforts, a fat tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.
Janet slid out from behind her desk, and stood in front of Sam. She cupped her face, pulling it gently upward. "Look at me," she said gently.
Sam did, and was overwhelmed by the love and concern in Janet's beautiful brown eyes. She could drown in those eyes, she thought. "Well I just have to make the most of it," she said bravely. "I'll work as hard as I can. That's all I can do."
Janet kissed her tenderly. "I'll be with you every step of the way," she promised. She kissed her again, instantly turned on as she always was by the taste and feel of her lover. She pushed her tongue gently into Sam's mouth, and was gratified at Sam's immediate response. Janet whimpered with pleasure as Sam cupped the back of her head and drew her in tighter. Janet felt Sam's hand cup her breast and start to knead it gently, and her breathing quickened. Reluctantly, she pulled away slightly, putting her hand over Sam's, and resting her forehead against her lover's. "Not here," her breathing was ragged. "Though God knows I want to."
Sam grinned. She kissed her, more chastely this time. "Tonight," she breathed. "And," she smiled, "we don't have to worry about the cast!"
Janet smiled back. "You ready for some exercises then?" she asked. "I've got Sgt Collins waiting for you in the gym. She's got some killer exercises for you. I doubt you'll have the energy for anything tonight!"
Sam rose to her feet, grimacing at the pain. "I'll find the energy," she promised. "Now lead the way, doctor!"
= = =
"Hey, Ella," Janet answered the phone late that afternoon. Two hours before, she had led a protesting Sam to bed, and insisted that she get some rest. "You worked out for over an hour," she said, "that leg's gotta hurt like hell."
Sam had reluctantly admitted that it did. Janet gave her painkillers and tucked her up in bed. "No," she shook her head when Sam tried to persuade her to join her. "Not yet. I have to make dinner. And you have to sleep. We'll fool around later, I promise."
So Sam was still sleeping when the phone rang. "Hi Janet," Ella said. "How is she? How did it go?"
"She's sleeping now," Janet told her. "The cast is off, at last. She's gonna need a cane still, I'm not sure how long for. But she's determined to get as fit as she can. She's being so brave, Ella. There's scarring on her lungs. It's likely permanent," she tried to keep her voice steady. "Only time will tell."
"She's got a great doctor," Ella said. "I know nobody could do more for her."
"She hates being taken care of," Janet admitted to Ella. "She's been real good about it. But she likes to be the one taking care of me. And Cass. She's always telling me she wants to protect us from anything bad."
"And she'll continue to do so," Ella reassured Janet. "She may just have to learn to do it in different ways. Sam is strong," she said. "And not just physically."
Janet nodded, forgetting that Ella couldn't see her over the phone.
"I'm gonna pick Cassie up from school later," Ella told her. "She's gonna stay the night with me. No," she insisted, as Janet started to protest. "She wants to. We talked about it yesterday. She's a bright kid. She knew today would be hard for both of you. You need to be with Samantha tonight."
"Thank you," Janet whispered.
= = =
Just before 7pm, Janet heard a noise behind her in the kitchen, and she turned round to see a sleep-rumpled Sam, wearing her usual night-time attire of boxers and a sleeveless t-shirt, leaning on a single crutch. Sam smiled at her.
"Hey," Janet smiled back. "What are you doin' here?"
"Got lonely," Sam said, lowering herself into a chair. "Hey, where's Cass? And Angus?"
"Staying at Ella's again," Janet said. "Apparently it's more fun over there than here," she tried to keep her tone light.
"More likely Ella's been baking those chocolate chip cookies again," Sam smiled. "C'mere," she reached out and caught Janet's hand. She pulled Janet so that the small medic was standing between her legs. Sam reached up and ran her hand down Janet's cheek. "How do you do it?" she asked.
"Do what?" Janet asked.
"Get more beautiful each day," Sam pulled her down for a kiss. "My God, Janet," her breathing was becoming ragged, "you are just stunning." She reached out and pulled Janet's t-shirt from her jeans, exposing her flat, toned stomach. She kissed the warm flesh. She pushed the t-shirt up and over Janet's head. Levering herself out of the chair, she pulled Janet back so that her own butt was balanced against the kitchen table, Janet fully in her arms. She kissed her passionately on the lips, allowing her mouth to trail down Janet's long, elegant neck, kissing and nibbling as she went. She kissed the soft swell of Janet's breast, and slid a hand into her bra, her ardor increasing sharply as her fingers found their target. "Oh Jan," she breathed. "I love you so much."
Janet felt as if she could come on the spot. "I love you too, baby," she gasped, whimpering desperately as Sam playfully tweaked a rock-hard nipple. "Bed," she panted, leaning over and turning the knob on the stove to the 'off' position.
"Dinner?" Sam panted.
"It'll keep," Janet gulped. "I can't wait."
"Neither can I," Sam steered her toward the stairs. "I want to show you just what I can do without the cast."
= = =
Janet cried out and collapsed in Sam's arms, panting and whimpering with desire.
Sam came just seconds after Janet, and pulled her exhausted lover even closer to her. Janet tightened her grip on Sam, but turned her face away. "Jan?" Sam asked, concerned. She felt Janet shudder in her arms. "Jan? Are you okay."
Involuntarily, Janet let out a muffled cry of anguish. Sam sat up slightly, turning Janet in her arms so that she was cradled. Very gently, Sam turned Janet's face to the light. "You're crying," she said softly. "What is it baby?"
"You," Janet said eventually. "You. I swear I love you more every time I set eyes on you. That was so beautiful, Sam. I can't bear to think what would have happened if you'd been in that water a few moments longer. If the pneumonia had been worse. If...." she inhaled sharply, "if he had won. Sam, it's all my fault. If you'd never met me, you wouldn't have gone through all that. You'd be well now. You'd still be on active duty. Your leg would be okay. Your lungs...." she started to weep openly as the emotion of the day overwhelmed her. "I just....," her sobs increased, coming in great gulps as she struggled to speak. "It's all my fault. I'm so sorry," her whole body started to shake.
Sam was appalled. "Shh, baby," she whispered, kissing her softly. She cupped Janet's sodden cheek lovingly. "Stop it. It's okay. None of this is your fault. None of it. You couldn't have stopped him. And you saved me, honey. It's thanks to you I'm here. And as for never meeting you," she shuddered at the mere thought. "I can't think of anything worse. You must know how much I love you Jan. I didn't know it was possible. To love anybody as much as I love you. I thought I had a good life before I met you. I thought I was happy. But I wasn't. I was content. I had a great job, but that was it. Now I'm with you, I realize just how empty my life was. Yes, some of this is a real bummer," she admitted. "But my God it's worth it. If that's the price I have to pay to be with you, I'll pay it, and gladly. I'd go through this every month if I had to. If it meant I could wake up every morning in your arms. But it's not just your body, though God knows you are just about the hottest thing he ever made. It's who you are that matters. This hot little body is just a wonderful bonus," she smiled, trying to make Janet smile. "You do know how much I love you, right?"
Janet nodded slightly. "I hate that I brought him into your life," she whispered.
"And I hate what he's done to you," Sam said, kissing her tenderly. "But he's gone now. It's just us. Us and our beautiful daughter."
"And Angus," Janet tried to pull herself together.
"And Angus," Sam smiled. "And Cassie's grandma too, of course. That's all that matters." She pulled the blankets round Janet, so that she was swaddled in her arms. "Try and sleep for a bit," she looked at Janet's too-pale face. "Jus' for a couple of hours. Then we'll go down, get dinner."
"I love you," Janet reached out and caressed a soft, ample breast, her face crumpling yet again as the nightmare of what David had done seared through her nerve endings yet again.
"Shh," Sam pulled her to her, guiding her to her breast. She felt Janet's hot mouth take the nipple and suckle it gently in. "It's okay, honey," she rocked her lovingly. "It's all over now." She smoothed the hair away from Janet's face, and watched her carefully as, slowly, the tension drained from her face, and she eventually fell to sleep, her mouth still on Sam's breast. "We're all gonna be okay," Sam whispered.