C words
Conflicted
Confused
Crashing
Thats how I feel most of the time. Ya know every second of the day is like a battle in my head. Its like my whole life is nothing but a war against myself. Trying to be something I feel that I am inherently not is more tiring then double shifts! Really I'm a pretty horrible person. I have names for people in my head that arent very nice. I dont mean to. The thought just pops in my head once and is stuck. Like gorilla glue. And unless I'm really tired or hungry I almost never say the first thought that pops in my head, because its usually dark and sarcastic. Also when I do choose to actually say something its usually pretty straight forward, which people seem to think is an attack on them. I dont mean to attack them. But it usually comes out that way.
Ya know what? Fuck this shit. This isnt me. I've been changing who I was to satisfy the people i was around. So twisted in their own conceptions that I lost mine. So what if certain people think I'm not worth anything? I'll blow them a kiss as I ride by. There's a breeze out there, calling my name, yearning to caress every particle of what I really am, and honestly I could not think of a better feeling then that on my skin.
I'm sure I'll explain more later but right now I want to drift into the Land of Nod.
Confused
Crashing
Thats how I feel most of the time. Ya know every second of the day is like a battle in my head. Its like my whole life is nothing but a war against myself. Trying to be something I feel that I am inherently not is more tiring then double shifts! Really I'm a pretty horrible person. I have names for people in my head that arent very nice. I dont mean to. The thought just pops in my head once and is stuck. Like gorilla glue. And unless I'm really tired or hungry I almost never say the first thought that pops in my head, because its usually dark and sarcastic. Also when I do choose to actually say something its usually pretty straight forward, which people seem to think is an attack on them. I dont mean to attack them. But it usually comes out that way.
Ya know what? Fuck this shit. This isnt me. I've been changing who I was to satisfy the people i was around. So twisted in their own conceptions that I lost mine. So what if certain people think I'm not worth anything? I'll blow them a kiss as I ride by. There's a breeze out there, calling my name, yearning to caress every particle of what I really am, and honestly I could not think of a better feeling then that on my skin.
I'm sure I'll explain more later but right now I want to drift into the Land of Nod.