h'okay So...
Here's the deal. I had a panic attack today. Possibly the worse one I have ever had. They come in spurts. Sometimes I will get one a month, sometimes I can get 2 or 3 in a single day. Normally I combat these with alcohol and drugs, but I quit drugs about 4 years ago and I dont drink any more except on a rare occasion I'll have a glass of wine. Right now it seems my only options are:
1) Be crazy and remain clean and sober
2) Be sane and an addict
Well i dont have any money, which is why a shrink is out of the question, so looks like I'll be crazy and sober.
My mind almost never stops. Its not even like I am thinking of practical things. Most of the time its pointless musing. I barely sleep and when I do never for more then 3 hours at a time. Due to my aversion to drugs I dont take anything. except maybe a melotoin. A natural sleep aid. Which I will probably take here in about 2 hours if I cant fall asleep.
This journal is some where I can post my musings and perhaps not feel so insane. I'll be posting almost unfiltered thoughts. So I am warning you right now. If you take offense the solution is simple: please dont.
The Duality of my nature is who I am. No one thinks only good thoughts all the time. And since honesty is key these wont just be good thoughts. I will try to keep people's names out of it tho. I always found that posting crap in a blog or journal about other people and using their real names was just an invitation for drama.
"Hi Drama, come on in. No I dont have better stuff I need to deal with right now. You're not a bother at all!"
Aaahhh Lighting up another smoke. I smoke when i write. Be it a long email, story, poetry, journal entry. Doesnt seem right not to have a cigarette in my hand while writing.
Oh and hey guess what? LJ has a mobile posting thing! Isnt that splendid?
My friends like to make conversation and pass time talking about what they would do in a zombie apocolypse. I personally dread it. What's the difference between now and after the apocolypse? Not a whole lot. Everyone is simply bent on surviving right now. Just surviving is difficult though. You have to work hard not to become a zombie yourself. More thoughts on that in a later entry.
I play World of Warcraft. Not the easiest thing to admit to. Havent played much in the last few weeks. Really bored with it. I guess that's what happens when you have 6 80's and 2 more in the 70's. Will probably play more when Cata comes out. I am second in command of a raiding guild. My fiancee being the GM. So I'll probably talk about that alot.
I think I'm dont typing now.
1) Be crazy and remain clean and sober
2) Be sane and an addict
Well i dont have any money, which is why a shrink is out of the question, so looks like I'll be crazy and sober.
My mind almost never stops. Its not even like I am thinking of practical things. Most of the time its pointless musing. I barely sleep and when I do never for more then 3 hours at a time. Due to my aversion to drugs I dont take anything. except maybe a melotoin. A natural sleep aid. Which I will probably take here in about 2 hours if I cant fall asleep.
This journal is some where I can post my musings and perhaps not feel so insane. I'll be posting almost unfiltered thoughts. So I am warning you right now. If you take offense the solution is simple: please dont.
The Duality of my nature is who I am. No one thinks only good thoughts all the time. And since honesty is key these wont just be good thoughts. I will try to keep people's names out of it tho. I always found that posting crap in a blog or journal about other people and using their real names was just an invitation for drama.
"Hi Drama, come on in. No I dont have better stuff I need to deal with right now. You're not a bother at all!"
Aaahhh Lighting up another smoke. I smoke when i write. Be it a long email, story, poetry, journal entry. Doesnt seem right not to have a cigarette in my hand while writing.
Oh and hey guess what? LJ has a mobile posting thing! Isnt that splendid?
My friends like to make conversation and pass time talking about what they would do in a zombie apocolypse. I personally dread it. What's the difference between now and after the apocolypse? Not a whole lot. Everyone is simply bent on surviving right now. Just surviving is difficult though. You have to work hard not to become a zombie yourself. More thoughts on that in a later entry.
I play World of Warcraft. Not the easiest thing to admit to. Havent played much in the last few weeks. Really bored with it. I guess that's what happens when you have 6 80's and 2 more in the 70's. Will probably play more when Cata comes out. I am second in command of a raiding guild. My fiancee being the GM. So I'll probably talk about that alot.
I think I'm dont typing now.