Coming clean
So after reading these two peoples live journals i have kind of come to a new reallity--this year i really felt like i changed a lot i stopped caring what people thought of me and i made decisions on my own with out my friends Okay--and for a really long time i felt like i was truly confident about who i was and what i was doing that the choices that i made but somehow though out the past month or two i have been noticing that i am not all that i thought i was-for example....
*i cant make decisions to save my life-i always make bad one's and usually it's not even like im forced toi usually choice that side that screws me or someone else over royally-kt is not officailly in chage of all of my desicion making!:-)
*i may seem confident but im really not-granted there is a level of confidence you can reach when you are in high school that you have to stop--the kind of people that surround you kind of set the bar to about how confident you can get with out feeling cocky-anyway i really am not any more confident than i was last year at this time--for those of you who know me well and know about my little food problem last year..no im not that unconfident..i dont care what random people say or think about me at all-i am who i am and as i read in someone's live journal(noone i actually know i read it by recommendation) i am who i am if you dont like it blow me-and thats how i usually feel but i think my weekest point is my friends-like if one of my friends says somthing about how they think i am or how i acted if it's bad i get really hurt-i dont think i really show it cause noonw has said anything but sometimes i feel like my friends do the things there not supposed to do-like arent your friends supposed to be the kind of people who you can go to their house after jumping out of the shower, pajamas on, wet hair and all, and not care what they think of you-and arent they supposed to be the kind of people who you can say what you think about something and not get shot down for you opinion-or say somthing you think about them-not even a bad thing and not have people geting mad at you--it's like why do you feel the need to call me a bitch everyday-they make me feel like i cant say what i mean and if i ever do say what i mean i have to go back on my word and pretend im joking so even when i say what i mean i have to pretend like i didint mean what i said--does that make any sence?!?--oops anyway back to another example
*IN a very unsure person-i dont know where i want to go to college or what i want to be when i grow up or what activities i wanna do in school or if i wanna get back to play soccer or keep doing tech-i dont know what kind of people i want to surround myself with--all i know is what i observed for my 15 years of life and what my parents have taught me--which is a lot but i dont think i have ever REALLY put everything that i have learned to use-so does that make it all useless??
---oy i jsut gave myself a headache and i should be studing for finals so im ganna go--TA!
you got so much to say
say what you mean
mean what you think
think anything, why not??
Cat Stevens
*i cant make decisions to save my life-i always make bad one's and usually it's not even like im forced toi usually choice that side that screws me or someone else over royally-kt is not officailly in chage of all of my desicion making!:-)
*i may seem confident but im really not-granted there is a level of confidence you can reach when you are in high school that you have to stop--the kind of people that surround you kind of set the bar to about how confident you can get with out feeling cocky-anyway i really am not any more confident than i was last year at this time--for those of you who know me well and know about my little food problem last year..no im not that unconfident..i dont care what random people say or think about me at all-i am who i am and as i read in someone's live journal(noone i actually know i read it by recommendation) i am who i am if you dont like it blow me-and thats how i usually feel but i think my weekest point is my friends-like if one of my friends says somthing about how they think i am or how i acted if it's bad i get really hurt-i dont think i really show it cause noonw has said anything but sometimes i feel like my friends do the things there not supposed to do-like arent your friends supposed to be the kind of people who you can go to their house after jumping out of the shower, pajamas on, wet hair and all, and not care what they think of you-and arent they supposed to be the kind of people who you can say what you think about something and not get shot down for you opinion-or say somthing you think about them-not even a bad thing and not have people geting mad at you--it's like why do you feel the need to call me a bitch everyday-they make me feel like i cant say what i mean and if i ever do say what i mean i have to go back on my word and pretend im joking so even when i say what i mean i have to pretend like i didint mean what i said--does that make any sence?!?--oops anyway back to another example
*IN a very unsure person-i dont know where i want to go to college or what i want to be when i grow up or what activities i wanna do in school or if i wanna get back to play soccer or keep doing tech-i dont know what kind of people i want to surround myself with--all i know is what i observed for my 15 years of life and what my parents have taught me--which is a lot but i dont think i have ever REALLY put everything that i have learned to use-so does that make it all useless??
---oy i jsut gave myself a headache and i should be studing for finals so im ganna go--TA!
you got so much to say
say what you mean
mean what you think
think anything, why not??
Cat Stevens