(no subject)
Im starting to think that maybe i havent been as honest with Ben about my health as ive lead myself to believe. He invited me to a gig tonight. I obviously said i couldnt go, told him i felt shit, because, well, i kinda do. So yes, but i thought id told him about not liking crowded places and freaking out ad stuff. Or maybe he does know it all he just thought he;d ask on the off chance that i felt ok and wanted to go. Yes, thats it. Im pretty sure ive told him quite a lot about how i am, although i prob have made it sound like its all not a big deal and im strong enough to work through it all (i tend to do that!)
I think he;s coming round tomorrow. We havent arranged a time, i assume he'll get touch after the gig. I wont be making contact because i wont be too upset if he doesnt show. If he comes round it means i'll panic and waste loads of energy on that, if he doesnt come it means i have a more relaxed day. Although i guess it would be nice to have some company for a couple of hours.
I told Bert he could come round on wednesday once he finishes work. I then told mum who revealed that we're going out for my nan birthday on wednesday. They dont tell me these things because they know i'll worry, i hate when they keep things from me. I hate resturants. i dont want to go. its only round the corner from me though so if i want to come home its no problem.
i have more stuff to say, mainly about the mighty boosh next week but mum wants to come online so i'll leave it till later or tomorrow or something