(no subject)
One day I'll get a picture of my cat up, but until then, Julias will have to suffice. (He's one of my mother-in-law's Persians. Amazing friendly feline.) Anyway, haven't been here for a while. Writing hasn't come easy for some time now even though I have a million stories knocking around in my head.
Went to dinner with Stephanie whom I hadn't seen since she visited in (I think) April. It's nice to catch up, be around someone who knows me well, the crazy way my mind sometimes works, all of it. It's a relief to be social again.
This isolation has been creeping in for a while now. None of our supposed friends want to do anything anymore. It's depressing to know that they only want to be around you when you don't have your kids in tow. (Sometimes not even then.) Not that we don't find baby sitters when it's appropriate because we do, but we have limited funds with which to do so.
They don't even qualify as my friends, I guess. These are people Devon knows. I can't get too bitter about it, I suppose since I'm either at work or sleeping when they're around most of the time, but even when I am present and making an effort, I get brushed aside and ignored. So whatever. I don't need them. Although, it makes me wish a few more of my high school friends had bothered to stay in touch with me. I'll bet you're thinking that I should have been the one to stay in touch with them, right? Well, a girl can only take so many unreturned calls and emails before she says "Screw it. I didn't need you in my life anyway."
I'm spewing toxic waste here. This shouldn't be forefront in my mind. These obviously fragile and unimportant connections shouldn't matter. They are not worth my time.
Dinner with Stephanie is worth my time. Halloween Horror Nights with Josh and Dyanna is worth my time. The Massive Attack concert with Devon is worth my time. Getting my daughter ready for preschool is worth my time, although I am procrastinating this morning.
I should do this more often.
Went to dinner with Stephanie whom I hadn't seen since she visited in (I think) April. It's nice to catch up, be around someone who knows me well, the crazy way my mind sometimes works, all of it. It's a relief to be social again.
This isolation has been creeping in for a while now. None of our supposed friends want to do anything anymore. It's depressing to know that they only want to be around you when you don't have your kids in tow. (Sometimes not even then.) Not that we don't find baby sitters when it's appropriate because we do, but we have limited funds with which to do so.
They don't even qualify as my friends, I guess. These are people Devon knows. I can't get too bitter about it, I suppose since I'm either at work or sleeping when they're around most of the time, but even when I am present and making an effort, I get brushed aside and ignored. So whatever. I don't need them. Although, it makes me wish a few more of my high school friends had bothered to stay in touch with me. I'll bet you're thinking that I should have been the one to stay in touch with them, right? Well, a girl can only take so many unreturned calls and emails before she says "Screw it. I didn't need you in my life anyway."
I'm spewing toxic waste here. This shouldn't be forefront in my mind. These obviously fragile and unimportant connections shouldn't matter. They are not worth my time.
Dinner with Stephanie is worth my time. Halloween Horror Nights with Josh and Dyanna is worth my time. The Massive Attack concert with Devon is worth my time. Getting my daughter ready for preschool is worth my time, although I am procrastinating this morning.
I should do this more often.