spinning
Last night I disappeared for 11 hours with David Brown, David KT, and ben Shirley Quirk. We dumpster-dove some veggies and made another awesome supper, then watched an entire series (3hours +) of this totally incomprehensible anime. What an accomplishment. I have been thinking, I am not in "waiting mode." So much of my life is spent waiting to do something better, to be somewhere better. But I am doing what I want right now. I am having a great time with friends (though of course I still can't help having this overwhelming on-the-outside-looking-in complex) and doing what I enjoy--drawing, writing, reading cool stuff, being really independent, playing violin, relaxing, seeing people I like and showing them as much affection as I want. Except, through all this, I keep getting the feeling that I'm misbehaving. And where I used to be all antsy and impatient about when "goodness" would begin, I'm all nervous about when this present flow of "goodness" will dry up. I know it will. be happy, me, please relax.