skyline
twelve-something... phone rings. i hear a's voice on the other end. she sounds upset. i think, oh shit, somebody else is dead. thankfully that wasn't the case. she just wanted to hear my voice. she had just talked with ms. o. she wants her to come over and go through n's things with her and m. what a task, but who else is there to do it? if i were there would i be going? it's sad because i feel like a is the only friend that they could really call on for something like this. but who else would know more? more details were given. i was an accident. the gun malfunction. he had taken the magazine out. something didn't seem right, n leans in to see what's going on and a bullet that got stuck takes her life in seconds. but not so many seconds where she can't say "oh my god" and m says "i'm sorry". the thought of ms. o. rehashing this to a. i'm glad that she did, because her friends i think really wanted some closure. especially a and i. i just couldn't make sense of it. the late night phone call made things seem a little bit more real. you know, when a told me that n had leaned in i couldn't help but chuckle because that is such a n thing to do. no, not lean into a gun but to try and fix or figure out what is going wrong with something. n, i know i was selfish with my time and my attitude sucked the last few times we spoke but i want you to know that i think of you every day and i wouldn't anything to have you back on this earth. your spirit and life will be missed but i know it's going on somewhere else, maybe even a better place. say hi to j for me if you see her.