you sure know how to put into writing about how you really feel. and know how to slap a person in the face at that. i understand that you aren't all that stable emotionally. and i know it is easier for you to get it out in writing. but honestly.. what the hell do we do wrong? we are only becoming strangers because you are throwing us out of your life. do you think you can try to look back at of all the times we have asked what's wrong when you are in your moods? and you have lied to us every time by telling us that NOTHING is wrong. and we're the bad guys? i don't mean to hit you back with all of this. but this entry was kind of random. and really.. kind of hurts. it's a real stab in the back.
i mean.. by referring your "so called best friends" as a disease in your life, it's clear now that all of the time's we've tried to be there for you were worthless. so it makes us feel pretty worthless. maybe you had a plan for this high range of sympathy from us? well we can't keep feeling sorry for you. it's time you actually do something about it yourself. and i know you say you try. but i have yet to see that. we do love you a lot. but we can only put up with so much of this. you have so much doubt in your mind. we have listened and attempted many times to help you through feeling depressed. but there has never been any feedback. and i have never heard a thank you.
i don't want to make your life suck anymore. so, for now, i have nothing else to say to you.
oh my god so youd rather me saying this to you in person so you can yell at me at school? ALL IM TRYING TO SAY WAS THAT WE ARE FALLING APART AND I DONT LIKE THAT MEANING I WANT TO FIX THAT and it hurt so much that i wanted to switch lunches I LIKE HOW YOU TURN AROUND EVERYTHING I SAY TO MAKE IT SO THAT I DID EVERYTHING WRONG AND THAT I SHOULD JUST GO CRAWL IN A HOLE AND DIE
why do you think i dont say anything b/c you talk like this
why do you think i made notebooks with all of you?? i figured it would help usually when i wrote what i was feeling you reguarded it or said something like how your talking now
and this entry is random?? so you dont think why i havent been talking during lunch is just random??
and you think i do this to get attention?? here we fucking go again im sorry im not like all of you guys and speak your feelings through writing
i might as well become a depressed poet who cuts herself
jesus fucking christ me trying to make things better now im crying my eyes out and want to crawl in a box and die
to answer all the questions you had about what i just said to you..
yes, it probably would have been better if you would have said something about this in person. it doesn't always have to be an argument though. you can't assume that i'm going to yell at you. so if you say you want to fix it, stop hiding. maybe.. come to school some days and we can work it out. it's not fixing anything when you do ignore us at lunch. we can't read your mind. so it obviously wouldn't do shit if you switched lunches.
the only way that i'm "talking" is being honest, saying my opinion. would you rather me just smile and agree? i do understand your side and everything you are saying. but that doesn't mean i feel the same way about it.
yes, i did pay attention to what you said in the notes. unless you're putting regarded in a totally different way. and even though i do say things like i just said to you, you monopolize everything or become defensive.
of course you not talking at lunch is random. you always do that to us. the days you do it is random, and when you decide to fill us in also just pops out of no where. but we've gotten use to the whole concept.
did i say it was a threat and the whole point of this entry was trying to tell you guys that i feel terrible and i wanna fix that but i guess thats not gonna happen
usually when people get defensive it's because they feel threatened.. even if that was the point, it brought out other thoughts in my head, that i felt i had to tell you. friends are suppose to be honest with each other, right? and i don't want to lose you as a friend kt.
well im doing the same thing by now you should know when i say nothing theres something wrong, and im not the kind of person who likes to talk, im better at writing, b/c when i try to speak my mind i get tounge tied, talk fast(even though i do that already) get red, or forget what i wanted to say
i do by now. i've said that i know how you are in the first comment. But do we really have to sit and wait on you to find out what is wrong just because you wont say it? We only try and find out to make you feel a little better about the situation.. but its not helping much if you dont talk about it to us.
i understand that you aren't all that stable emotionally. and i know it is easier for you to get it out in writing. but honestly.. what the hell do we do wrong?
we are only becoming strangers because you are throwing us out of your life.
do you think you can try to look back at of all the times we have asked what's wrong when you are in your moods? and you have lied to us every time by telling us that NOTHING is wrong. and we're the bad guys? i don't mean to hit you back with all of this. but this entry was kind of random. and really.. kind of hurts. it's a real stab in the back.
i mean.. by referring your "so called best friends" as a disease in your life, it's clear now that all of the time's we've tried to be there for you were worthless. so it makes us feel pretty worthless. maybe you had a plan for this high range of sympathy from us? well we can't keep feeling sorry for you. it's time you actually do something about it yourself. and i know you say you try. but i have yet to see that. we do love you a lot. but we can only put up with so much of this. you have so much doubt in your mind. we have listened and attempted many times to help you through feeling depressed. but there has never been any feedback. and i have never heard a thank you.
i don't want to make your life suck anymore. so, for now, i have nothing else to say to you.
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so youd rather me saying this to you in person
so you can yell at me at school?
ALL IM TRYING TO SAY WAS THAT WE ARE FALLING APART
AND I DONT LIKE THAT
MEANING I WANT TO FIX THAT
and it hurt so much that i wanted to switch lunches
I LIKE HOW YOU TURN AROUND EVERYTHING I SAY TO MAKE IT SO THAT I DID EVERYTHING WRONG AND THAT I SHOULD JUST GO CRAWL IN A HOLE AND DIE
why do you think i dont say anything
b/c you talk like this
why do you think i made notebooks with all of you??
i figured it would help
usually when i wrote what i was feeling
you reguarded it or said something like how your talking now
and this entry is random??
so you dont think why i havent been talking during lunch is just random??
and you think i do this to get attention??
here we fucking go again
im sorry im not like all of you guys
and speak your feelings through writing
i might as well become a depressed poet who cuts herself
jesus fucking christ
me trying to make things better
now im crying my eyes out
and want to crawl in a box and die
so theres my thanks
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yes, it probably would have been better if you would have said something about this in person. it doesn't always have to be an argument though. you can't assume that i'm going to yell at you.
so if you say you want to fix it, stop hiding. maybe.. come to school some days and we can work it out. it's not fixing anything when you do ignore us at lunch. we can't read your mind. so it obviously wouldn't do shit if you switched lunches.
the only way that i'm "talking" is being honest, saying my opinion. would you rather me just smile and agree? i do understand your side and everything you are saying. but that doesn't mean i feel the same way about it.
yes, i did pay attention to what you said in the notes. unless you're putting regarded in a totally different way. and even though i do say things like i just said to you, you monopolize everything or become defensive.
of course you not talking at lunch is random. you always do that to us. the days you do it is random, and when you decide to fill us in also just pops out of no where. but we've gotten use to the whole concept.
we're not all out to get you, you know.
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if you guys didnt just say
"well i didnt know i was such a HORRIBLE person"
b/c i totally said that right?
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it's just the way that you're making us feel.
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and the whole point of this entry was trying to tell you guys that i feel terrible and i wanna fix that
but i guess thats not gonna happen
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even if that was the point, it brought out other thoughts in my head, that i felt i had to tell you. friends are suppose to be honest with each other, right?
and i don't want to lose you as a friend kt.
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by now you should know when i say nothing theres something wrong, and im not the kind of person who likes to talk, im better at writing, b/c when i try to speak my mind i get tounge tied, talk fast(even though i do that already) get red, or forget what i wanted to say
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But do we really have to sit and wait on you to find out what is wrong just because you wont say it? We only try and find out to make you feel a little better about the situation.. but its not helping much if you dont talk about it to us.
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but it is for me to speak to everyone else
i dont know why
and i cant automatically change that
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since you posted that picture
it kindof does tangle into this
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but it has nothing to do with you.
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