"Don't Be a Tattle-Tale!"
That's what we tell our precious children. For, it is more important to us that they grow a tough skin than that we become aware of who is being bullying and abusive. And if you can catch a bully at a young age, you are much more likely to prevent them from becoming worse and worse.
But the wounds go deeper. This isn't just about children in school. Many siblings may remember their older siblings being cruel and sadistic towards them, then telling them not to "tattle," so their parents never know what's wrong. What's worse, some parents punish the younger sibling if they do "tattle," instead of the older one for being a brat.
Yet even deeper. Truly abusive children and adults alike use this logic because it permeates our society, and any child can be forced to obey it. I am very close to many people who were abused and told not to "tell." One was molested by their twelve-year-old babysitter, then told not to be a tattle tale. Another by their teacher. Yet another was sexually abused by their grandparents. But it's a secret. "Our little secret."
This is a culture of silence. Silence infests our ghettos and Third World countries; silence imprisons the weak and the helpless; silence saturates every crevice, every corner of our society. If you are attacked on a street in broad daylight, chances are nobody will come to your aid. We are the innocent bystanders. Feeling sick yet? If you're not, perhaps you're not paying attention.
As a child, I was ridiculed in school. I was treated like shit from age 6 to 13. I had several physical threats during that time. Yet I was never hit or attacked. Why? Because my mother taught me to tell. "If someone is hurting you, either your feelings or your body, tell someone." I was trained that if one adult wouldn't listen, to keep telling until somebody did. This helped perpetuate the ridicule to an extent, but really it was my insecure attitude more than anything else. And nobody touched me.
Language can be used for control through fear, inspiration, anger, and pain. You can hurt somebody with words, even if you're not looking at them. You can do it through the internet. Most people, however, believe that if you are hurt by somebody's written verbal abuse, you should DEAL WITH IT. I put that in capitals, because that's how they've said it to me. I'm not talking about someone saying, "you're an asshole." That's just silly. I'm talking about persistent, cruel, sadistic attacks.
I belong to an opinion network (application on Facebook), and was getting really tired of the opinions I saw about how "If you report abuse you suck cock" and you should "Stop being whiny and childish." I was told time and again that it was my CHOICE to be insulted or hurt by cruel people. All of the responsibility is put on the person being mistreated. This was not new for me. I decided to post an opinion of my own:
"When you allow someone to mistreat people on the internet, you are taking away those people's freedom."
The comment follow-up for the opinion is as follows:
Don't call me "whiny" and "childish;" I should have more of a right to be here than people who are cruel. And if you tell me to "just deal with it," I'll probably have to leave, which restricts ME as opposed to the asshole responsible.
Please read the post above for the lovely responses I gained within half an hour.
But the wounds go deeper. This isn't just about children in school. Many siblings may remember their older siblings being cruel and sadistic towards them, then telling them not to "tattle," so their parents never know what's wrong. What's worse, some parents punish the younger sibling if they do "tattle," instead of the older one for being a brat.
Yet even deeper. Truly abusive children and adults alike use this logic because it permeates our society, and any child can be forced to obey it. I am very close to many people who were abused and told not to "tell." One was molested by their twelve-year-old babysitter, then told not to be a tattle tale. Another by their teacher. Yet another was sexually abused by their grandparents. But it's a secret. "Our little secret."
This is a culture of silence. Silence infests our ghettos and Third World countries; silence imprisons the weak and the helpless; silence saturates every crevice, every corner of our society. If you are attacked on a street in broad daylight, chances are nobody will come to your aid. We are the innocent bystanders. Feeling sick yet? If you're not, perhaps you're not paying attention.
As a child, I was ridiculed in school. I was treated like shit from age 6 to 13. I had several physical threats during that time. Yet I was never hit or attacked. Why? Because my mother taught me to tell. "If someone is hurting you, either your feelings or your body, tell someone." I was trained that if one adult wouldn't listen, to keep telling until somebody did. This helped perpetuate the ridicule to an extent, but really it was my insecure attitude more than anything else. And nobody touched me.
Language can be used for control through fear, inspiration, anger, and pain. You can hurt somebody with words, even if you're not looking at them. You can do it through the internet. Most people, however, believe that if you are hurt by somebody's written verbal abuse, you should DEAL WITH IT. I put that in capitals, because that's how they've said it to me. I'm not talking about someone saying, "you're an asshole." That's just silly. I'm talking about persistent, cruel, sadistic attacks.
I belong to an opinion network (application on Facebook), and was getting really tired of the opinions I saw about how "If you report abuse you suck cock" and you should "Stop being whiny and childish." I was told time and again that it was my CHOICE to be insulted or hurt by cruel people. All of the responsibility is put on the person being mistreated. This was not new for me. I decided to post an opinion of my own:
"When you allow someone to mistreat people on the internet, you are taking away those people's freedom."
The comment follow-up for the opinion is as follows:
Don't call me "whiny" and "childish;" I should have more of a right to be here than people who are cruel. And if you tell me to "just deal with it," I'll probably have to leave, which restricts ME as opposed to the asshole responsible.
Please read the post above for the lovely responses I gained within half an hour.