(no subject)
I can't sleep anymore. This time is different.
I've been making a list in my head of all the things you've done to me. And I realized I've never forgiven you for any of it, I just moved on. And let it all build up, bubble into resentment. I resent that you could have done the things you did to anybody, especially me. Why me? Our problem is that we never actually dealt with anything we would fight until one of us got tired and then just pretended like everything was okay. We never solved anything. So I've ended up wallowing in silence for 4 years. I loved you so much it hurts my bones. I would have given you the world if you asked for it.
The only thing is I don't know if I can forgive.
I don't know if I want to.
I think you hurt me more than either of us realized.
I've been making a list in my head of all the things you've done to me. And I realized I've never forgiven you for any of it, I just moved on. And let it all build up, bubble into resentment. I resent that you could have done the things you did to anybody, especially me. Why me? Our problem is that we never actually dealt with anything we would fight until one of us got tired and then just pretended like everything was okay. We never solved anything. So I've ended up wallowing in silence for 4 years. I loved you so much it hurts my bones. I would have given you the world if you asked for it.
The only thing is I don't know if I can forgive.
I don't know if I want to.
I think you hurt me more than either of us realized.