one last time.... live from New York it's ME!!!!!
so here I am one last post from my new york vacation house lol... thus ends my 20yr vacation lmao... woo wee what a blast... at times it was great then there was great disappointment and well now it's time to move on... to new things, hopefully better things but then again I wonder how it could get worse but oddly enough every time I say that it finds a way... but I am soo looking forward to the change of scenery there only two people I had to hang out with before I left... wow... that's sad.... three of my friends left before me and I only have two that wanted to see me before I left... oh well it's my life cry if I wanna lol j/k.... talking about crying I remember that I cried in 98 at my grandma's funeral and it wasn't till 02' till I cried again and it was at both times because I loved someone more then I ever thought possible and when I think about them I can do it all over again... but oddly enough that's the only times... so really there is only three people I cry for.... my mom and my grandma and well.... yeah... I wish I could have it all but ya just can't so I settled to keep my mom I guess but as the story goes it looks like I am goin to lose that soon to... which makes me wish I wasn't on medication cuz then I could feel the suffering and deal with it and stuff but I don't think I could handle it without them sending me on another "holiday"... So I guess for now I choose denial over reality... fare ye well new york