It's still Halloween Somewhere, right?
One more fic for the Day of the Black Dog.
Title: Yes, Sirius
Author: chibitoaster
Characters: Sirius/Remus
Word Count: 1500
Warnings: creature fic, dark tones, character death-ish.
Rating: PG-15
Notes: It's just something I had in my mind, wondering what Remus would do if posed with a really difficult decision.
Sometimes the key to keeping a relationship going for years is to learn one simple phrase.
“Yes, Sirius,” had kept us happy and content for so many years, I had hardly given it much thought. If he suggested we start breeding Hippogriffs, I’d simply answer him, and the issue would be dropped. Or if he suddenly wanted to pop across the ocean to Illinois and adjust the plans on some new motorcycle, slighty, to give it a little lift. Or if he had a notion to steal Harry’s kids away and take them to visit their uncle Charlie and play with the baby dragons.
But it always meant that I was listening and I would give him anything he wanted.
Because I would. All he had to do was ask.
---ooo---
He waited to ask me until just after I took my potion the night of the full moon.
“Remus, I have a question. If I were dying, and the only way to save me was to turn me into a werewolf, would you do it?” He had been reading by the fire, but when I looked up, his half-moon glasses were pushed up on top of that mop of curly salt-and-pepper hair on his head. He was staring into the fire, looking maudlin.
“Well, you’re not likely to get sick with any terminal disease, are you? So I would think the point is moot.” I tried to chase the thought out of my head. Of all the things he could have asked, that was probably the one dilemma I couldn’t face.
Sirius looked up, all mirth was gone from his eyes. “What if I was?”
I didn’t know how to respond. My heart was stuck in my throat, and I’m sure the book I had been reading fell to the floor. “But you’re not, right? You’re not.”
He didn’t reply, but just turned to stare into the fire again. “What if it wasn’t life-threatening, but disabling, instead? Would you do it? If I would have to live the rest of my life, say, without use of my legs, or unable to use magic, or blind?”
Something had gotten to him. This wasn’t like him at all. If he was just pondering dark and depressing things, he would have gotten it out of his system right away, and then gone back to his book with a pleasant smile while I shook my head and laughed.
But he was still staring into the fire.
“You’ll hurt your eyes,” I told him as I stood and went over to him. I sat next to him on the sofa and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his shoulder. “If you keep staring into the fire.”
“I wonder.” He draped an arm over my shoulder, but didn’t look away from the flames.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
There was a long pause. He often took his time in deciding what to say and how to say it when I was concerned. Anyone else might either get a brush-off, or an answer off the cuff, but for me, he always made sure things were just right. Finally, Sirius gritted his teeth. “My eyesight has been getting worse, so I went to see someone about it.”
“And?”
He turned away from the fire and looked down into my face with an apologetic smile. “It’s parasitic magic stuck there. Apparently, it had lain dormant for years, but that fever I had in the summer woke it up again.”
“What are you talking about? How would you get parasitic magic stuck in your eyes? That kind of stuff only happens with ghosts and corpses...” I stopped. The thought was too horrible to put into words.
He smiled. “Yeah. I didn’t know until that day, either. Honestly, I think it gave the healer a right fright, and he called in dozens of his colleagues to take a look at me.”
“This doesn’t make sense. We changed things. You didn’t die that day,” I whispered. I sat up and ran through all the events in my head. Harry had gone back to the stock of time-turners and he and I had set up a trap so that one of the time turners would alter its path by a fraction of an inch each time it fell, so that it would finally fall away from the rest several hours later. When we went back, we altered everything just a little so that Harry would move a few inches over when Bellatrix cast her spell, I had set a trap that pulled her arm toward the ceiling only slightly, causing her spell to miss Sirius, and only knock him down on top of Harry. It took us several tries, but we eventually got it all right. Or so we had thought.
“They said if I was a dark creature, it wouldn’t matter. Dark creatures are able to tread on the border close to death by nature. But the way I am now, I’m teetering on the line between one existence and the next.”
I could feel Sirius’s body trembling. “But if what they’re saying is correct, then you are--”
“I KNOW!” Sirius shook his head. “I know. I just don’t understand why and how it happened.”
Remus and Harry had never told him about how they’d saved his life. About the alternate reality they thought they’d prevented.
“I’m not afraid of death. I never have been. But being undead and having to sit by and watch countless generations live and die while I just slowly rot away until there’s nothing left but my wandering soul? That scares the shit out of me.”
I took his hand in mine and brought it up to my lips.
“Pretty soon, that hand isn’t going to taste very good. They said I was lucky to have gone this long without any deterioration - probably because of some spell, they said.” Sirius smiled sweetly at me. “You always say yes to everything I want to do, Moony. Please, don’t say “no” this time.”
He called me on it. He knew that this was his one trump card, and he had to play it.
And of course, I would let him win. He could see it in my body as my shoulders relaxed and my head tilted to the side.
“But if I do this, where will we go? We can’t stay here, it’s far too dangerous. As a dog, you’re in your right senses, but once the transformation takes place, there’s no telling what will happen. And if we start ordering two phials of wolfsbane every month, I’ll likely be thrown in jail for contaminating another.” I allowed Sirius to unbutton my shirt and slip it off my shoulders.
“We’ll go to Romania,” said Sirius, placing a line of kisses along my neck and shoulder. “Put ourselves in Charlie’s hands. Harry can have this old pile of bricks, I’ve always hated it, anyway.”
I cupped his face in my hands and ran my thumbs along his crow’s feet. He had grown old so gracefully, wrinkling in all the right places, his hair cropped short now, streaked with gray, and white at the temples. This was still the most beautiful creature I had ever seen in my life, and even the possibility that he was Inferi wouldn’t take that away. “It will hurt,” I told him.
He unbuckled my belt, never looking away from my eyes. “I don’t mind pain.”
“You’ll end up covered in scars like me,” I told him with a twinge of regret.
“They’ll go well with my tattoos from Azkaban. And I think your scars are sexy. When I have some of my own, you might not be able to keep your paws off of me,” he breathed into my ear as he unfastened his trousers.
“Can’t keep my paws off you, anyway.” I pulled Sirius’s shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor. I paused, nuzzled my face against his neck, breathing in his scent. Of course, Sirius had been right. There was a faint odor of decay under his usual musky scent. Deep inside, I knew this was the only way short of finding him a vampire willing to sire. The beast inside of me refused to entertain the idea of another dark creature having his way with him.
“So, will you do it tonight? I’ve been waiting to ask you, not really knowing how, actually.” Sirius placed his hands on my hips and steadied me.
Maybe it was the creature inside of me that had been so desperate for a mate of its own kind. Maybe I’d always been selfish enough to agree to whatever he wanted to ensure that I would never lose him. Or maybe I knew that there really was no other way.
Nevertheless, I said to him those words that seemed to flow freely from my mouth whenever he really wanted anything. “Yes, Sirius.”
Title: Yes, Sirius
Author: chibitoaster
Characters: Sirius/Remus
Word Count: 1500
Warnings: creature fic, dark tones, character death-ish.
Rating: PG-15
Notes: It's just something I had in my mind, wondering what Remus would do if posed with a really difficult decision.
Sometimes the key to keeping a relationship going for years is to learn one simple phrase.
“Yes, Sirius,” had kept us happy and content for so many years, I had hardly given it much thought. If he suggested we start breeding Hippogriffs, I’d simply answer him, and the issue would be dropped. Or if he suddenly wanted to pop across the ocean to Illinois and adjust the plans on some new motorcycle, slighty, to give it a little lift. Or if he had a notion to steal Harry’s kids away and take them to visit their uncle Charlie and play with the baby dragons.
But it always meant that I was listening and I would give him anything he wanted.
Because I would. All he had to do was ask.
---ooo---
He waited to ask me until just after I took my potion the night of the full moon.
“Remus, I have a question. If I were dying, and the only way to save me was to turn me into a werewolf, would you do it?” He had been reading by the fire, but when I looked up, his half-moon glasses were pushed up on top of that mop of curly salt-and-pepper hair on his head. He was staring into the fire, looking maudlin.
“Well, you’re not likely to get sick with any terminal disease, are you? So I would think the point is moot.” I tried to chase the thought out of my head. Of all the things he could have asked, that was probably the one dilemma I couldn’t face.
Sirius looked up, all mirth was gone from his eyes. “What if I was?”
I didn’t know how to respond. My heart was stuck in my throat, and I’m sure the book I had been reading fell to the floor. “But you’re not, right? You’re not.”
He didn’t reply, but just turned to stare into the fire again. “What if it wasn’t life-threatening, but disabling, instead? Would you do it? If I would have to live the rest of my life, say, without use of my legs, or unable to use magic, or blind?”
Something had gotten to him. This wasn’t like him at all. If he was just pondering dark and depressing things, he would have gotten it out of his system right away, and then gone back to his book with a pleasant smile while I shook my head and laughed.
But he was still staring into the fire.
“You’ll hurt your eyes,” I told him as I stood and went over to him. I sat next to him on the sofa and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his shoulder. “If you keep staring into the fire.”
“I wonder.” He draped an arm over my shoulder, but didn’t look away from the flames.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
There was a long pause. He often took his time in deciding what to say and how to say it when I was concerned. Anyone else might either get a brush-off, or an answer off the cuff, but for me, he always made sure things were just right. Finally, Sirius gritted his teeth. “My eyesight has been getting worse, so I went to see someone about it.”
“And?”
He turned away from the fire and looked down into my face with an apologetic smile. “It’s parasitic magic stuck there. Apparently, it had lain dormant for years, but that fever I had in the summer woke it up again.”
“What are you talking about? How would you get parasitic magic stuck in your eyes? That kind of stuff only happens with ghosts and corpses...” I stopped. The thought was too horrible to put into words.
He smiled. “Yeah. I didn’t know until that day, either. Honestly, I think it gave the healer a right fright, and he called in dozens of his colleagues to take a look at me.”
“This doesn’t make sense. We changed things. You didn’t die that day,” I whispered. I sat up and ran through all the events in my head. Harry had gone back to the stock of time-turners and he and I had set up a trap so that one of the time turners would alter its path by a fraction of an inch each time it fell, so that it would finally fall away from the rest several hours later. When we went back, we altered everything just a little so that Harry would move a few inches over when Bellatrix cast her spell, I had set a trap that pulled her arm toward the ceiling only slightly, causing her spell to miss Sirius, and only knock him down on top of Harry. It took us several tries, but we eventually got it all right. Or so we had thought.
“They said if I was a dark creature, it wouldn’t matter. Dark creatures are able to tread on the border close to death by nature. But the way I am now, I’m teetering on the line between one existence and the next.”
I could feel Sirius’s body trembling. “But if what they’re saying is correct, then you are--”
“I KNOW!” Sirius shook his head. “I know. I just don’t understand why and how it happened.”
Remus and Harry had never told him about how they’d saved his life. About the alternate reality they thought they’d prevented.
“I’m not afraid of death. I never have been. But being undead and having to sit by and watch countless generations live and die while I just slowly rot away until there’s nothing left but my wandering soul? That scares the shit out of me.”
I took his hand in mine and brought it up to my lips.
“Pretty soon, that hand isn’t going to taste very good. They said I was lucky to have gone this long without any deterioration - probably because of some spell, they said.” Sirius smiled sweetly at me. “You always say yes to everything I want to do, Moony. Please, don’t say “no” this time.”
He called me on it. He knew that this was his one trump card, and he had to play it.
And of course, I would let him win. He could see it in my body as my shoulders relaxed and my head tilted to the side.
“But if I do this, where will we go? We can’t stay here, it’s far too dangerous. As a dog, you’re in your right senses, but once the transformation takes place, there’s no telling what will happen. And if we start ordering two phials of wolfsbane every month, I’ll likely be thrown in jail for contaminating another.” I allowed Sirius to unbutton my shirt and slip it off my shoulders.
“We’ll go to Romania,” said Sirius, placing a line of kisses along my neck and shoulder. “Put ourselves in Charlie’s hands. Harry can have this old pile of bricks, I’ve always hated it, anyway.”
I cupped his face in my hands and ran my thumbs along his crow’s feet. He had grown old so gracefully, wrinkling in all the right places, his hair cropped short now, streaked with gray, and white at the temples. This was still the most beautiful creature I had ever seen in my life, and even the possibility that he was Inferi wouldn’t take that away. “It will hurt,” I told him.
He unbuckled my belt, never looking away from my eyes. “I don’t mind pain.”
“You’ll end up covered in scars like me,” I told him with a twinge of regret.
“They’ll go well with my tattoos from Azkaban. And I think your scars are sexy. When I have some of my own, you might not be able to keep your paws off of me,” he breathed into my ear as he unfastened his trousers.
“Can’t keep my paws off you, anyway.” I pulled Sirius’s shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor. I paused, nuzzled my face against his neck, breathing in his scent. Of course, Sirius had been right. There was a faint odor of decay under his usual musky scent. Deep inside, I knew this was the only way short of finding him a vampire willing to sire. The beast inside of me refused to entertain the idea of another dark creature having his way with him.
“So, will you do it tonight? I’ve been waiting to ask you, not really knowing how, actually.” Sirius placed his hands on my hips and steadied me.
Maybe it was the creature inside of me that had been so desperate for a mate of its own kind. Maybe I’d always been selfish enough to agree to whatever he wanted to ensure that I would never lose him. Or maybe I knew that there really was no other way.
Nevertheless, I said to him those words that seemed to flow freely from my mouth whenever he really wanted anything. “Yes, Sirius.”