recall the deeds as if they're all // someone else's atrocious stories

[barebacking]

Who: Yaha and Shikamaru Nara.
When: Early evening.
Where: Prison then xXx.
Summary: AGI buys an elf from prison. Time to collect.
Warnings: Yaha, always.

Comments

[underachieves]

He could hardly believe they'd assigned him to this. It wasn't the first retrieval he'd be making from the prison, despite his status as a former prisoner, but here he was assigned to pick up the very man responsible for his own confinement. It was evidence of their trust in Shikamaru. Amazing that they continued to trust him even now; a sign that none of the Newcomers had betrayed him yet. But this seemed like too much. He expected a trap. Marching through those halls with an AGI lawyer and his supervisor behind him, Shikamaru expected to find himself in a cell at the end of the night, and Yaha smiling cruelly at him as he threw away the key. The scene played over and over in his mind. That was exactly what he'd come to expect from fate.

So when the cell door opened and the real Yaha was revealed, Shikamaru was stunned. He sucked in a sharp breath and stared, and a long moment passed just like that, with his mind rushing to reconcile his expectations with the information his eyes provided. Was this Yaha? He was unrecognizable.

He didn't exhale until he felt a nudge in his side. Right, the transfer. The officer accompanying them was saying something to Yaha, something about their contract and relocation and things that neither of them were in any state to really listen to. Shikamaru was granted permission to use his powers for this, and so as the officer stepped aside for him, Shikamaru shuffled forward.

And he was smiling.

[barebacking]

His head lifts up a little as soon as he heard the metal door open. Someone's come to visit. It was much different than bringing meals, but actual visitors. His hands lightly clap together once as he slid off of his bunk to greet them. Fingers brushing through his hair to remove the tangles as best as he could, he stepped back as the door opened. Only one face was familiar and he stared blankly at Shikamaru. No Urick?

One of the men stepped forward to start to speak to him, but he was not particularly listening to them until he heard that there would be a transfer. His posture straightened that much more as he shook his head lightly. "No." He touched his throat, feeling the roughness of it. It had been awhile since he spoke to anyone, too. Yaha thought of talking to people during the trial, listening to everyone, but he was mostly silent.

He could not think of anything to say. "Urick won't like me anymore if I leave. I have to remain here." Looking to Shikamaru, he tilted his head slightly at him. "Please don't let him hate me."

[underachieves]

Shikamaru had to laugh. The sound that escaped was so sharp and unnerving that when it echoed through the room and back to him, it sounded almost like Hidan's laugh. But he couldn't help that. There was a sick giddiness in his stomach. What he needed was a moment alone, some fresh air and a second to think about all of this.

Instead he had all eyes on him, a thirst for revenge, and orders that would give him the perfect excuse to taste it. "Oh man," Shikamaru uttered as he brought his hands together for a hand seal. "Nope, it looks like Urick's gonna hate you, 'cause you're coming with me."

His shadow seized Yaha's. It took all of his willpower to keep from changing the sign from Kage Mane to Kage Nui. He would rather see Yaha dead. Out of his life. Out of everyone's lives. But torture wasn't such a bad option to be left with.

[barebacking]

His hands dropped to his sides as he heard the laugh. It reminded him of the ones that he would give the little martyrs when they asked if the pain would stop. He wondered if he could consider this a win -- another rare moment of understanding the reality around him, he looked back to the wall and wanted to make another line on the stone. Dear little Shikamaru had turned into something close to what he was, yet he could not hold onto that bit of joy.

The sinking feeling had started in his heart and continued to freeze until he could actually feel the pain that it brought. "I don't want him to hate me. That is why I remained. I had been such a good boy." His gaze shifted to the other two men, looking for some sort of approval or reassurance that he had been. Yet their faces were relatively blank. Things had been decided for him and so they need not show him anything that he wants.

"But I..." And the small little movements he made ceased as his shadow was caught. Even if he wanted to tilt his head to see, he could not. "But I want to stay until Urick comes for me." Yaha had given up on his other friends -- even if he saw them in his mind, even if he had many little tea parties with them. None of them were really coming for him. All of them had forgotten about him. Everyone but Urick would leave him.

[underachieves]

Shikamaru couldn't enjoy the look on Yaha's face for a moment longer. With the technique active, there wasn't much time to move him. They could handcuff him and drag him, of course, but that would be a lot more trouble. So he turned to follow the other two AGI representatives and the guard, back through the corridors and down to the side entrance where the slave transport vehicle was waiting. Yaha would be the only merchandise being moved this evening.

He had to concentrate on maintaining the technique while they walked, and even then Shikamaru was exhausted by the time they reached the van. His supervisor took care of chaining Yaha and blindfolding him, and it wasn't until Yaha was completely secured that Shikamaru released his shadow.

The two of them were alone in the cargo area once the van began to drive. Shikamaru sat across from Yaha, gun drawn and pointed as was standard procedure. He didn't have anything to say yet, breathless and feverish as he was recovering from using Kage Mane.

[barebacking]

"Why do I have to go?" Yaha continued to ask as he was forced to walk after them, asking the two men. Neither felt the desire to talk to him. They had said their peace. If his shoulders could, they would have dropped. He no longer had the energy or strength to use any of his abilities. Could feel his children beneath the ground somewhere in the city, but could not call to them. It would put them into danger.

"I want to stay here and wait for Urick." He knew that he was becoming something of a broken record, but that was his wish. Yet if he remained where he was, he would feel the constant fracturing in his head intensify until there was nothing left. Yet if he left and realized that he had once more disappointed his beloved, he would shatter. The low or the fast. It did not seem as though he had a choice in the matter. "Please, don't you like me here?"

The elf continued to ask his questions that had no answers before he finally was chained and blindfolded. Tied down in the van. His shoulders could finally drop as he could feel that weakness continuing. "Urick will be so disappointed." He did lift his head a little as he thought that he heard something familiar. Reminded him of Shinji, but he dismissed that thought.

"You look very happy right now, Shikamaru." Even though he was blindfolded, even so, he decided to talk as though he could see. A smile that was as hollow as his words. He had to talk on something else as he could feel his heart breaking as the van once more started. Hated such contraptions. To be tied down in something of metal and moved. He'd rather be amongst the horses or forced to walk the entire way. Walk until his feet bled. The fear was in his voice, but that could not be helped. "I was beginning to worry about you."

[underachieves]

"You oughta be more worried about yourself."

He lifted the gun, pointing it at Yaha's head from where he sat. His finger wasn't on the trigger. He was merely remembering something. Or... trying to remember. He wished he could remember everything. He wished he could only be sure.

One thing he was sure about was that Yaha deserved this. If anybody had ever deserved this fate, it was Yaha. AGI probably knew that, or at least knew that Shikamaru would believe that. If this wasn't a reward for his loyalty, then it was a bribe. He wasn't an idiot. He understood that much. But there was no reason he shouldn't bite. He was a monster, AGI's monster. Why shouldn't he enjoy it for once?

[barebacking]

"I see no reason to worry for myself."

His smile widened that much more. It was nothing to be happy about it, just as hollow as before. "I know what will become of me. What is there to worry about?" Yaha did allow his head to drop as he thought of what would become of him. His thoughts focused completely upon Urick and the disappointment he was sure the man would feel toward him. This time it was not his fault. This time he wanted to stay and be good for the police, for Urick.

"Urick, Urick..." Being alone for so long had not done much for his already weakened head. Thriving for all the attention and finally having someone talk to him, it was -- not as wonderful as he thought that it would be. Jerking his head back up, he continued the conversation. "What became of my friends? What became of Roman? Wait, they're not really my friends, are they?"

No, they weren't. Hadn't he just said they were not his friends? "What was I saying before?" Difficult to carry on a conversation when only having himself and visions in his head to speak to. "Ah, yes, I was worried about you. I was beginning to wonder if you would not be all right. But you will, won't you, my dearest little Shikamaru."

[underachieves]

He turned the gun in his hand, his eyes fixed on Yaha. What if he could end this? Really end it? Years had passed since he'd been able to see justice done once and for all. But if he were to shoot, Yaha would come back. He remembered the blood spreading slowly over the floor. His heart remembered... elation. I did it.

He didn't. Never could. Never could do it right.

"I'm-- fine. No thanks to you." The gun came to rest on his lap again. The smile had gone from his face. "You're right about them. Your friends. You were a tool, you know? You were just a fall guy. 'course that's probably okay by you. You were probably using them just the same. One great big cycle of everybody fucking everybody. That's what you call love, right? Isn't that your idea of love?"

[barebacking]

"No thanks to me." A repeated phrase as he nodded slightly to himself. There were so very few that could say that they were all right, because of him. Urick ... would Urick say the same? He wanted to call out through his pact, wanted to ask these questions, but he could not stand the thought of the answer. In the end, he was going against what his love wanted for him, wasn't he?

"Hm? Yes, it is all right with me." Yaha smiled softly to himself. It was all right with him. Even if they were not real friends, they acted like they were to him. "Using them as the same? No, not really. Though, I do like the idea that you stated." A soft hum as he thought of how happy that they all were together now. It did not actually make him happy to think on such things even though the sound sounded as such.

"No, that's not what I call love. It's what I call friendship." His shoulders shook a little as he laughed to himself. It was not a true laugh -- he lost his real laugh with his real smile so long ago. "The only love I know is the ever-consuming one I have for Urick. And now you are going to have him hate me. I think he was going to forgive me."

The chains moved a little as he opened his hand to the air, before curled his fingers back to rest. "I am certain he would have held my hand and take me home, finally." A beat. "Why do you want him to hate me? Why are you doing this to me? Hadn't I been a good boy in my cell? Hadn't I been good during my trial?"

Yaha laughed to himself once more, smile brighter in its emptiness. "I am getting confused. I just know Urick will hate me. Urick will--" The smile faded as he seemed to realize what was going on finally and started to fight to get out of his restraints. It really was useless even if he could access some of his strength granted to him, his body was still too weak to do much than just shift slightly from side to side.

"Take me back!"

[underachieves]

Shikamaru's finger moved to the trigger now. Give me a reason. Go ahead. Damaging property wasn't ideal, but no one would have a problem if he put a few holes in Yaha to keep him from escaping. He could shoot Yaha's knees out. His feet. He wouldn't need those where he was going.

"You're not going back," Shikamaru uttered, his gaze on the chains securing Yaha. He'd shoot if there was even the slightest hint of a break. He remembered too well how strong Yaha could be. "And Urick already hates you. You know why? 'cause you haven't been a good boy. Not in life. You're a rapist. A killer. You're scum. You're gonna go where you'll get to feel everything you put people through. I think I'll even put in a special recommendation for you. I think you'd do a lot better servicing women than men. Maybe I'll suggest you never see a man again. Definitely never see Urick again."

[barebacking]

The struggling abruptly ceased as he lowered his head slightly at the words. Yaha started to laugh softly to himself -- his shoulders shaking rattled the chains slightly but it seemed like he would not be able to get away. That sinking feeling continued. It was difficult to have such a moment of sanity and realize that perhaps that was right; Urick was very upset with him.

He hadn't seen him at all. He thought that his reward would be to see him and talk to him face-to-face. Where did he hear that? Did someone say it to him? Another little delusion that he nursed. His head tilted in very gentle movements as he continued to try to see through the dark.

"Such a vicious little boy you've become." He started to laugh even more, louder. It wasn't as pretty a sound that he wanted, but he couldn't cry anymore. Lacked the ability to do so. It made him think of Laughing Beast and how she could only convey her sorrow in the same way. He thought to adopt her coping mechanism, for the moment.

"Not once have I raised my hand in anger to another. Well, once, I suppose, I did." Yaha thought of the cultists that he had cut down, but they deserved it. A soft humming noise as he continued to look about the darkness that was around him before jerking toward where Shikamaru sat -- where he heard his voice. He could not get particularly far but his voice did lose its mirth and joy.

Fear spoke to him and wrapped and choked him, but he could only speak in anger now. The fear of never seeing or hearing Urick, or knowing any sort of touch that he could mistake for his love's in a delusion. "Please, don't do that..." A beat as he leaned back to rest where he was. Too tired and weak to do much else, it seemed. How unfortunate. His words mumbled slightly. "Urick would take my hand and promise me that things would be all right. But he no longer holds my hand. I don't think that memory really happened, it might have been a dream I had..."

[underachieves]

Something about all of this bothered Shikamaru.

It wasn't guilt. For once, he didn't feel guilty about any of it. He was actually grateful. As much as it played right into AGI's hand, he was grateful for his contract, his position, that gave him the chance to be right here at this moment. The sacrifices he'd made, the sins against humanity that he'd committed, might all be worth it for this chance. Because in this world, it wasn't the law that saw justice done. The companies had the power, and here he was AGI's judge.

With his confidence in that, then, what was the real issue? Not his pride. Such a vicious little boy you've become. Yaha knew nothing about it. Assuming he had any part of it, or that somehow this place had corrupted him. Others had even tried to draw comparisons between Yaha and Shikamaru, but he knew that they were wrong. They were both killers, but that was where the similarity ended. If he'd had any doubt about it, the night he'd spent with Yaha at AGI had cleared it. Shikamaru could be sadistic, but he wasn't a sadist. And if anything had corrupted him, it'd happened long before any of these people knew him.

Shikamaru sat in silence while Yaha muttered to himself. He could tell they were getting closer to Sector 1 when the turns of the vehicle became familiar. "Are you ready, Yaha?" he said finally, when the van began to slow. "You're about to begin your new life."

[barebacking]

"It's always the anticipation that kills me." His head tilted just a little as he answered the question politely. It was rude to not be part of the conversation, after all. Even as he interlaced his fingers, he happily imagined that it was someone who was holding both of his hands. With the blindfold in place, the illusion would not end for awhile. "But that's always how it is for anyone. I'm sure that you'll understand one day."

A beat.

"I don't want Urick to hate me. I don't… I worked very hard and yet…" The van had already stopped during the pause. His head shifted from side to side in a panicked manner. "No, wait… I didn't mean to anger anyone." It was a lie. He couldn't say that he was particularly sorry for anything. Difficult to do so for someone like himself. Especially when he had convinced himself that all he had done was for his love.

Even someone like himself could tell that he had nothing that he could do at this time, beyond appear as pathetic and remorseful as possible in order to be granted some mercy. "I promise that I …" The words no longer mattered, he could be saying anything so long as it would mean that he would not be allowed to fell any sort of disdain from Urick. It would be fine to be hated by everyone else, because he knew that everyone actually loved him.

Yet, it seemed as though his words fell upon deaf ears this time.