(Untitled)
Who: Doumeki Shizuka (drainedpaladin) and Watanuki Kimihiro (successoroftime)
When: Afternoon of July 23
Where: A laundromat in sector 4
Summary: More domestic stuff. Talk about Doumeki's new job.
Warnings: none!
( goin' back to the sun )
When: Afternoon of July 23
Where: A laundromat in sector 4
Summary: More domestic stuff. Talk about Doumeki's new job.
Warnings: none!
( goin' back to the sun )
"The weather today looks good, too," he said, thinking of the bamboo clothesline he had back in the shop and how Maru and Moro would help hang up the clothes properly.
He glanced at Doumeki as he stepped out of the apartment with his basket in hand; the man had been holding out doors for him more often in the past few months than he had in the previous year. It was another thing he had to get used to, seeing other meanings in his actions instead of habitually thinking that Doumeki was patronizing him.
Not that he wouldn't be on the look out for that. If Watanuki thought Doumeki was being a smug bastard again, Watanuki wouldn't hesitate to let him know.
He leaned against the wall and waited for Doumeki to finish locking the door.
"I'll still never understand why that place also provides arcade games for entertainment while waiting. Isn't the television enough as it is?"
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When the elevator hit bottom, he stepped out and glanced back at Watanuki, "For people who find the television boring, probably." he said, then after a moment he added, "Like I do."
It wasn't that he was into video games, though - Doumeki would rather continue working on the paper he had stored on his laptop or read a good book than watch the television or play a game. Still, he understood it, and he understood that Watanuki was complaining just to complain.
He wasn't sure whether he should be comforted or disturbed by that fact. Or if Watanuki was even thinking about the same things as he was.
"Have you had any word from your boss yet about our next job?" he asked, his voice low.
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A little hobby to pass the time.
"So will you be playing a little later?" Watanuki asked as they walked, adjusting his grip on the basket. "I haven't heard anything about our next job yet, but it's almost time for another inventory check."
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It was one of the subtle things he'd been throwing into conversation to clarify his thoughts, to make himself more open, and to show his interest in Watanuki. To show that he wanted some reciprocation on those things. The boy responded, on occasion, in his own ways, but Doumeki wasn't sure what to make of any of it.
Still, there was that palpable tension. He lowered his gaze slightly, and nodded in response to the boy's comment about the shop, "I see. I'm sure he'll find something for us to do, then."
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It was ridiculously endearing.
"Why not?" He fell into step with Doumeki with a soft breath. "I should like to see how someone like you would fare against regular players."
There was a slight pause before he replied to Doumeki's other statement. "He always does. Not that I mind the break. Things may become busy soon."
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He shifted the basket to his other hip, and moved outside, holding the door for Watanuki again, and letting it fall shut behind them. He started down the street, nodding again, "I'll be ready when we start to get busy. I'm not injured anymore."
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"I see," he said softly. "It must've been a lot of fun."
He paused for a moment at the doorway to take a breath. It was already summertime, and the air was warmer than usual.
"That's one less thing to worry about." He turned to give Doumeki a small, wry smile. "Try to keep up your running record of not having any injuries for more than a month, hmm?"
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The truth was that Doumeki had had very few close friends before meeting Watanuki. People had liked him, but he'd never been terribly interested in them. It was hard to find someone who held his interest or made him come back for more - not because he was stuck-up or thought too highly of himself (though occasionally he couldn't deny that he did) - but because he was simply so self-contented before he met Watanuki that he hadn't felt the pressing need for someone to confide in.
Even now, it was hard to confide, but Doumeki had never wanted someone to care for him to the extent he wanted Watanuki to care for him. There was a nagging feeling, in his chest, when he thought about it - he knew that he would never get what it was he'd truly wanted before the day Watanuki had announced that he would stay in the shop. An approximation, maybe. He was starting to admit to himself that things weren't how he wanted, that he was jealous that Watanuki had chosen Yuuko over him. The thought of it made his breath catch in his throat, and he shifted his basket a little against his hip.
"I'll do my best." he said, gravely.
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He looked away and shifted one side of the basket to lean against his hip in place of his other hand. The tension of the past few weeks had returned again in full force, a solid weight in his stomach.
What was that about?
Watanuki lifted a hand to gently rap his knuckles on the center of Doumeki's chest and snap him out of it. Perhaps... perhaps Doumeki would talk about it. Later.
"I know you will."
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"What?" he asked, his voice calm, blinking at the boy. The tension had been obvious, he supposed, but he hadn't expected Watanuki to react the way he did, and he couldn't speculate on what was going on in the boy's head when he tapped him in the chest.
His hand raised and rubbed at the spot, feeling the leftover sensation of Watanuki's knuckles.
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"Tell me about it later," Watanuki said. He disliked confrontations because they were painful. However, not discussing anything at all was to simply allow old wounds to fester into rot.
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He continued moving quietly for a few minutes, his mouth set in a straight line, trying to make sense of his situation yet again. Things had been confusing for a long time now, since that conversation when he was injured, when Watanuki realized what it was he felt. Things had progressed a little, but mostly without a lot of conversation, and sometimes it was hard to understand where exactly he stood with Watanuki.
Watanuki had promised he'd say yes once Doumeki wasn't his slave anymore. Still, that was a condition, and he wasn't sure what Watanuki's feelings were - Watanuki had never exactly told him his feelings, just agreed that he could abide by Doumeki's and try to give back. That he would accept him. Acceptance was something, but it wasn't the only thing Doumeki wanted.
He frowned again slightly, "When?" he asked, his voice soft.
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Watanuki had been preparing for this for a long time now. It was hard to believe it was already drawing close.
"Next week."
He almost had swallowed the words, not realizing that he had been holding his breath until the moment he spoke. Next week was when the owner of the antique store would give his next assignment, and when he would finally have those documents finished.
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He shifted his weight a bit, listening to the boy's voice, watching the expression on his face with a look on his own of troubled contemplation. He thought he knew what answer Watanuki was giving, considering the timing, and he lowered his gaze to the laundry after a moment, thinking.
His gut twisted slightly.
"That's when you want to do it?" he asked, voice still low.
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This was what he got when he got too preoccupied with something, and he bit his lower lip as a sudden influx of doubt overcame him. A week. He also didn't want to catch Doumeki off-guard if he waited until finishing what he had said he'd do, but it looks like he had already gone and done it.
"If you're fine with it," he replied, slowing down until he had stopped walking. It was difficult to struggle with his instinct to run or to fight, but he knew he had to stay still. The plastic rim of the basket dug into his palm as he gripped it tighter, and his own heartbeat was too solid in his chest as each moment without a reply from Doumeki passed. The man always could say no, say he was tired of waiting, of everything.
Watanuki took a breath. His chest still felt tight. He took one more.
"Or if you'd still accept any sort of answer from me."
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He didn't know if he was. Things were complicated, up in the air, and Doumeki wasn't comfortable being anything less than self-assured. He hadn't felt that way in a very long time - confident in himself, and his position with Watanuki. Of course, he'd been resigned for a very long time, and that was a sort of knowledge of where he stood, but now things were unstable again. He didn't know what to think.
Doumeki didn't like feeling that way. He didn't want to wait, and the fact that it was only the papers holding Watanuki back from saying yes made him wonder what the depth of the boy's feelings for him could possibly be. What could be left for Doumeki, after Watanuki had essentially chosen waiting for Yuuko over a relationship with Doumeki already? It wasn't something that would go away, that decision. Doumeki knew that even if Watanuki said yes, Doumeki would one day be an old man, a grandfather's age, with a boyfriend who had the body of a teenager. That he would one day die, and leave Watanuki alone. Doumeki wouldn't be able to complete the task he'd decided on so long ago, to make sure that Watanuki didn't die alone. The opportunity to grow old together, to share experiences together, to be devoted to each other - that was what Watanuki had abandoned to wait for Yuuko.
In Doumeki's mind, that was where he stood with Watanuki. A second choice. A distant second choice after Yuuko. Even if Doumeki found a way to get the boy out of the shop, that choice had been made and affected everything that came after.
His stomach churned, and he stopped when Watanuki did, eyes cast down to the pavement.
"I'll still accept your answer." Doumeki said, his voice quiet.
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