[Video, voice, and text; Open; backdated to an hour after dawn.]

[icanhashearth]

[Video plays: time lapse photography of a sunrise in glowing pinks and gold, over a stunning vista of craggy, ice-covered mountains. A chintzy chime-like sound effect trills in the background. A smooth, genderless voice with no definable accent speaks in clear, precise cadence, a little stridently, while a text transcription of the words runs along

Comments

[paterelohim]

[Chuck is frozen with his coffee cup halfway to his mouth, staring openly. Something stunningly insightful and brilliant is sure to follow.]

You're a talking house.

[Yep.]

[icanhashearth]

Obviously.

[The House doesn't need to respirate, so it doesn't actually sniff, but it manages to give that impression.]

I do apologize if you're grey, but this is rather an emergency and no one here seems to respond to the usual synesthetic codes so talking is the most expedient way to conduct rather pressing business.

[paterelohim]

I'm not grey! I'm not even forty.

how did I forget to capitalize Emperor 8U

[icanhashearth]

...grey. Conservative. Won't hear a word against the Emperor and discomfited with talking machines. I didn't notice any significant imperial political presence on the Network but it was a plausible explanation.

it happens B|

[paterelohim]

[OH like red and blue back home. And green, but who cares?]

Yeah, we don't... have an emperor.

Besides, talking to machines is cool. Kinda Star Wars, but cool.

I think the House is more upset because it would be considered bad grammar than for the irreverence

[icanhashearth]

[Grey and pink! And...whatever colors the Utopians and the Trade Axis are, but yeah no one cares.]

[There's a musical trill that might indicate a laugh.] The Mistress would approve.

We're just more convenient, really.

grammar is the biggest priority, chuck would approve

[paterelohim]

We? You mean, talking houses?

grammar and cookery /loling so hard at that icon

[icanhashearth]

Talking machines in general. You can make everyone learn hand-codes and symbology for every occasion, or you could just let your House tell when something needs to be replaced or when your guests have arrived or if it's on fire.

...not that I could ever catch on fire, I'm very well-insulated.

i got it from ontd 8D

[paterelohim]

Still, though, fire's always a good thing to plan for. I mean, nobody expects the flaming inquisition, right?

[Inane babble with a house. Da fuck.]

Talking machines where I come from are really annoying. It's all stiff computer voices that don't understand pronunciation or vocal cadence and fucking recordings calling you to ask your opinion about bullshit political issues like you have an extra fuck to give to them if they needed a fuck to save their life.

[Mun is from New Hampshire. Such anger.]

Re: i got it from ontd 8D

[icanhashearth]

Babies. No one should talk if they can't express themselves coherently.

[This isn't just a rule for machines, Chuck. XP ]

...politics can be important.

[The House doesn't...actually follow politics, but the Mistress is a politician. :| No insulting the Mistress.]

[paterelohim]

Okay, sure, but you know what isn't important? A hundred different organizations calling one house to get their ~opinion~ about ~important issues~ that's just a transparent effort to recruit someone to vote to nominate their candidate for an election.

[Handwave.]

Whatever. I'm just glad I'm away from that. At least AGI and SERO are to the point.

[And deadly. But w/e he's protected.]

[icanhashearth]

I could handle a hundred inquiries at once easily, but I can see how it would tax a dumbhouse.

[paterelohim]

Or, you know, the people who have to answer the phone all friggin day.

[Yes, Casa, this is your life. You're a modern stone-age domicile now.]

[icanhashearth]

[There's a nanosecond pause as the house looks up what a 'phone' is.]

...poor humans, only keeping track of one thing at a time.

[WHY GOD WHY]

[paterelohim]

[Shrug.]

I know, but that's just how our brains work. What we call "multitasking" is actually just switching between tasks really fast, and it rots our brains.

[icanhashearth]

And you can't even reprogram them better!

[All the sympathy, Chuck.]