014 (Video)

[painhumbles]

All right, gang. It's time for a little PSA, brought to you by the Society of If I Hear One More News Story About That Angel Bitch, I'm Gonna Hurl.

If that chick's an angel, Jerry Falwell's got a bridge on the other side of the Pearly Gates to sell you. I don't wanna call racism here, but... This city's got an entire contingent of Heavenly Hosts

Comments

[abrotherlikeyou]

...Who is this about? [Someone's been too busy planning a caper to be offended at anything. The world is lucky, for once.]

[painhumbles]

Neveah Knorr. Claims she's an angel or something. Either way, she's got idiots in this Port eating out of her manicured hands.

[abrotherlikeyou]

I hope she kills them. [He says it so pleasantly.]

[painhumbles]

Because nothing says the holidays like ritual sacrifice. You're like a homicidal five-year-old.

[abrotherlikeyou]

I just never forgot Daddy's penchant for burnt offerings.

[painhumbles]

Right up until the pagans stole that from us.

[abrotherlikeyou]

There's something to be said for taking it back. We can call it vintage.

[painhumbles]

Leather sandals are vintage. Setting goats on fire is a barbecue.

[abrotherlikeyou]

So let's barbecue in honor of Aslan.

[Hear that? Not a trickle of disdain when he says the lion's name. It's a certified miracle.]

[painhumbles]

Aww. You and Aslan are bonding now.

[abrotherlikeyou]

Haven't you?

[painhumbles]

We're more like casual acquaintances. I'm still getting over the fact that there's this social stigma attached to chatting with talking animals.

[abrotherlikeyou]

You're too fixated on appearances. He's not a lion. We're not men. Not that you seem to remember it.

[painhumbles]

It's also a joke, not that you seem to get those half the time. So sue me, something about him makes me twitchy.

[abrotherlikeyou]

A guilty conscience, maybe?

[painhumbles]

That or he reminds me of someone whose mom right-crossed the tar out of me.