Log 02 | Video
Captain's log, Stardate twenty-eleven point seven-five. [Kirk's transmission begins with him seated comfortably at a table, chin resting in his palm, seeming almost relaxed despite having recently arrived in the city.] Yeah, sounds kind of ridiculous, I know, but I'm supposed to make these kinds of logs and shit back home, so I figure it can't hurt to get used to it while I'm still here. No harm in being ahead of the game, am I right? [He flashes a grin at his NV.]
So. Getting down to business, we've got some annoying piece-of-shit device, more commonly called the Core, that's keeping us here. I dunno about the rest of you guys, but I'm not exactly fond of being held captive by some alien technology or whatever it actually is. Problem one, I don't have a way to even get close to the thing. Trust me, I tried. [What looks to be a bruise starting to form on Kirk's face seems to suggest he's telling the truth.] Whoever's guarding it picked a really damn good team for the job of keeping people the fuck away, and that, naturally, puts kind of a big hitch in things. So who knows who I gotta kiss up to in order to get permission to observe the thing?
Problem two, even if I can smile my way into the good graces of.. whoever it is, I'm kinda lacking any equipment to analyze the core with. I know there's all sorts of fancy machinery in this time, but let me level with you: where I'm from, the stuff you have is ancient, archaic, dinosaur-era, whatever term you wanna use. Fact is, I'm gonna have to build something myself, and as it stands I'm up shit creek without a paddle. I could really use a few good tips on where to find some cheap decent parts that'll hold up to some serious modifications.
Problem three, I need some recipes. Yes, I know there are cookbooks out there, but no book is gonna outright tell you what sucks and doesn’t suck; it’s just gonna say that everything in it is perfectly peachy and delicious as hell. So what I’m looking for are dishes that have a confirmed positive review by some of you out there. Here’s the tricky part, though. After an unfortunate incident involving hamburgers - and I say “unfortunate” in the sense that they were amazingly mouth-watering and one of them didn’t get eaten - I discovered that Vulcans don’t consume meat. So what I’m really in need of are some good vegetarian meals. ....This might sound a little strange, but honestly, the blander, the better. Spock’s never had Earth food before now, so I’m wagering that I oughta ease him into things instead of bombarding him with flavours.
Problem four, well... It's not really too much of a problem if I'm completely honest. See, part of my job involves learning more about alien cultures, and despite what you might think, I don't intend to slack off just because I'm not in my own timeframe. And hey, since the Port here is a big mish-mash of dimensions, I figure it's a good place to get down to business. So if you wanna talk to me about your home, go for it. And if you're a fine lady.. [Here the young captain puts on a self-assured, lopsided smile he has come to associate with success in.. certain aspects of interpersonal relationships.] I might even be willing to treat you to some coffee for a nice face-to-face chat.
[He gives the camera a wink and a two-fingered mock salute.] Kirk out.
So. Getting down to business, we've got some annoying piece-of-shit device, more commonly called the Core, that's keeping us here. I dunno about the rest of you guys, but I'm not exactly fond of being held captive by some alien technology or whatever it actually is. Problem one, I don't have a way to even get close to the thing. Trust me, I tried. [What looks to be a bruise starting to form on Kirk's face seems to suggest he's telling the truth.] Whoever's guarding it picked a really damn good team for the job of keeping people the fuck away, and that, naturally, puts kind of a big hitch in things. So who knows who I gotta kiss up to in order to get permission to observe the thing?
Problem two, even if I can smile my way into the good graces of.. whoever it is, I'm kinda lacking any equipment to analyze the core with. I know there's all sorts of fancy machinery in this time, but let me level with you: where I'm from, the stuff you have is ancient, archaic, dinosaur-era, whatever term you wanna use. Fact is, I'm gonna have to build something myself, and as it stands I'm up shit creek without a paddle. I could really use a few good tips on where to find some cheap decent parts that'll hold up to some serious modifications.
Problem three, I need some recipes. Yes, I know there are cookbooks out there, but no book is gonna outright tell you what sucks and doesn’t suck; it’s just gonna say that everything in it is perfectly peachy and delicious as hell. So what I’m looking for are dishes that have a confirmed positive review by some of you out there. Here’s the tricky part, though. After an unfortunate incident involving hamburgers - and I say “unfortunate” in the sense that they were amazingly mouth-watering and one of them didn’t get eaten - I discovered that Vulcans don’t consume meat. So what I’m really in need of are some good vegetarian meals. ....This might sound a little strange, but honestly, the blander, the better. Spock’s never had Earth food before now, so I’m wagering that I oughta ease him into things instead of bombarding him with flavours.
Problem four, well... It's not really too much of a problem if I'm completely honest. See, part of my job involves learning more about alien cultures, and despite what you might think, I don't intend to slack off just because I'm not in my own timeframe. And hey, since the Port here is a big mish-mash of dimensions, I figure it's a good place to get down to business. So if you wanna talk to me about your home, go for it. And if you're a fine lady.. [Here the young captain puts on a self-assured, lopsided smile he has come to associate with success in.. certain aspects of interpersonal relationships.] I might even be willing to treat you to some coffee for a nice face-to-face chat.
[He gives the camera a wink and a two-fingered mock salute.] Kirk out.