017 | Video

[ebony_mask]

[Black Mask is sitting in a leather office chair, petting a kitten: a pink Siamese with gold eyes, a gray-white blotch of fur on its face, and black ears and tail. The animal curled up in his lap looks quite pleased to be there--the obvious mutual affection may be unnerving.]I lost custody of my goddamn sea monkeys, and my elf is a sex slave, so I

Comments

[Action]

[omnomspecimens]

[Fugly? Who are you calling fugly? At least he doesn't look like a lowly Hollow that dipped his mask in tar!]

[Just to show how much he didn't like that comment, Szayel will just be digging his claws in your leg.]

[Action]

[ebony_mask]

[Roman chuckles and gives the kitten an affectionate stroke.]

Bad boy, Mr. Bojangles. Ruin my suit and you're gonna get declawed.

[Action]

[omnomspecimens]

[...Bojangles? SERIOUSLY? First Candy, now Mr. Bojangles. Can no one come up with original names for cats?]

[Szayel let out an indignant noise, but tilted his head up toward the stroking anyway.]

[Action]

[ebony_mask]

[Rubs a finger under Szayel's chin.]

Aw, aren't you cute? It's almost like you understand me!

[Action]

[omnomspecimens]

[Of course he does, and if the sly look that seems to appear on the kitten's face is any indication, he will be very happy if you started spilling your secrets like the other nincompoops that he's fallen in with.]

action forever

[ebony_mask]

[Rolls his eyes upward in their sockets as he muses.]

Well, not cute cute. You're pretty goddamn hideous, but, hey, it gives me some hope that maybe, someday, someone will love me too.

[He snickers.]

Just kidding. What would I do with love? Fuck that.

[omnomspecimens]

[Well, at least they think alike, and Szayel shows this with a purr, getting up on Roman's lap and rubbing against his chest. Now, if only you'd stop calling him hideous, they could work some things out.]

[ebony_mask]

[Aww, how can he deny Mr. Bojangles love when he wants to cuddle? Roman runs a hand down the length of the cat's spine.]

Y'know, I can kinda see why she likes you guys so much. This is relaxing as hell. I don't even think I'll be pissed if no one bids on you...on the other hand, I'd be that guy with the pink cat, so...might have to schedule a trip to the kitty salon.

Pink just doesn't match any of my suits, Bojay.

[omnomspecimens]

[Szayel's head swiveled around to GLARE at Roman. So get a suit, skull man. You'd be surprised how well pink and black go together.]

[ebony_mask]

I'm the people, not you.

Besides, nobody takes an evil villain seriously if he wears pink. Them's the breaks.

[omnomspecimens]

[Szayel swiveled his body around, plopping his feet on Roman's chest and staring him down. Tell that to the Hollows, Shinigami, and Humans he's tormented over the years. It doesn't matter the looks, you just have to know how to inspire fear in someone.]

[Sheesh, does no one get it right?]

[ebony_mask]

[Stares back.]

Black is the way to go. Understated. Simple. Oozes class. Hell, I put it in my name, I love it so much.

[omnomspecimens]

[He half sat on Roman's chest, still staring him down.]

[ebony_mask]

[Absently rubs Szayel's head.]

It's just been suggested to me that I should bathe you to determine if you're really pink or not. Whaddaya say?

[omnomspecimens]

...mrrrrooooowwww.

[He really does need a bath. It's not like he can bathe himself... and no, he refuses to lick himself. That's gross and something Luppi would do!]

[Szayel hopped off Roman's chest, but he turned to give him a LOOK. Attempt to drown him, and you'll be dissected once he gets hands back.]

[ebony_mask]

[Ain't even mad. He moves his fingers back behind Szayel's ears.]

Given your above-average-intelligence, for a cat, I mean, I just assumed the pink came along with it. Weirder shit has been seen, am I right? I know I'm right. It doesn't matter, though, since the seemingly uncanny ability to understand people is your selling point.