news feed; Monday, June 20th, 2011

Jun 20, 2011 03:00

Monday; June 20, 2011

Weather Mostly Clear and Sunny, cooling off significantly since yesterday. 25°C and a low of 19°C (77°F/65°F)

Current Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous

Morning sirens will go off at 5:11 am, and evening sirens will go off at 9:16 pm.

Eviction Notices
The following list of characters will find a note slipped under their door giving a three days' notice of eviction. Today marks the end of your one month of free rent, giving you 3 days to leave the apartments.

Daniel
Elaine Mallory
Ukyou
Saix

"It's a Jungle Out There"

An exclusive interview with Walter McKinley (68), Zoo & Aquarium Founder, features his opinions on recent city developments as well as the new exotics on display at the Zoo. A rebuilt enclosure for the albino elephant is one exhibit making it's debut this week. Also, he is proud to welcome a pair of new striped hyenas, replacing the two that were stolen last summer and remain irretrievable.

His son Rodger, current zoo curator, was unable to be interviewed, but Walter assured us he busy is following up on rumored reports of a unicorn and flying blue pegasus, a pink talking pony and a gentle lion that prowls about untroubled, even in darkness.

When jokingly asked why he, a respectable and neutral man of the city, isn't throwing his hat in the ring for governor, he wittily retorted: "What are you, crazy? It's wilder zoo out there on the streets these days than it is in here, that's for sure!"

Mr. McKinley would also like to remind parents that this is the final week to register children for Summer Zoo Camp, an educational daycare program running in four sessions: July 4th-15th, 18th-29th, Aug 1st-12th & 15th-26th.

Other News

- Celebrity Wedding Watch follows a strange development of the AGI Producer's overnight bachelor party at Sparks Hotel and Casino. Side-by-side paparazzi photos of the groom-to-be show him entering the casino a salt-and-peppered older gentleman, and leaving early this morning looking not a day older than 30! Will his 26-year-old fiance be pleased with this fabulous overnight makeover, only one day before the wedding? Or does she prefer her Sugar Daddy's "distinguished" look?

- A small accident occured in Sector 4 when a group of street lights suddenly turned green at the same time. A collision between two cars occurred at a crossroads. Luckily, both drivers escaped with minimal damage. Investigations are ongoing as to why the street lights failed to operate properly.

- SERO has put out a massive product recall on all Darkness Proofing window treatments installed between April 20th throughout the month of May. A chemical additive in this sealant has been found to attracts Rotmoss Wasps, who will build their nest into window eves and eventually chew away at the sealant.

- Mermaid Sighting off of Missionworth Lighthouse
Called in by two fishermen off the shore of Crow's Head Beach. Closer inspection by city coastguard later revealed washed up bodies of two of the five missing high school senior runaways. Their legs had indeed mutated into fishtails- but apparently their new found fins were pierced on the sharp rocks surrounding the small lighthouse isle. Because the abandoned island is so infamously haunted, there were fearful arguments and drawn lots over who would go out and retrieve the bodies. The dispute took too long, and by high tide the mermaid corpses were washed away and unable to be found.

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