[Is he going to explain where he's been all this time? Nope. Explanation is for pussies.]
I find Father's Day is best celebrated with a stiff glass of brandy. I would advise you all further, but I appear to have had a few too many glasses of it already. He would be proud.
[a long pause to the point that he could be done, but:]That was a lie. He
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Yeah, the land of daddy issues, fun place to visit, and admission is free with purchase of drink.
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