Apathy and other small victories
"I have always thought of people as punch lines. I laugh at everyone, all the time. I laugh when they fall down, no matter how old they are, even if they break their hip and they're my grandmother. Jesus my mom was fucking pissed. I laugh when they miss their bus and then run after it waiving their arms in a futile attempt to make the bus driver stop, and when he doesn't it means they'll be late for something very important. I especially laugh when they have nervous breakdowns. Sometimes I think about that footage of Jim Baker being led away in handcuffs as he whimpers and goes fucking insane and I have to lie down to keep from fainting. The Other Sister and I Am Sam are two of the funniest movies ever made. I can't even walk into McDonald's, not even to steal a salt shaker. All those people stuffing double cheeseburgers into their greedy mouths are just big fat sloppy sight gags to me. I was kicked out of my reading circle in third grade for laughing at a girl who couldn't sound out her sentences. Years later she told me that I was singularly responsible for the stutter she'd later developed, and for her intense shyness and low self esteem. The important thing was that I'd made a difference in her life. I have always found the misfortunes of others hilarious, because they're not me. If there's such a thing as karma I'm fucking doomed. But it's really condescending and patronizing not to make fun of someone because they're old or stupid or crippled or morbidly obese. Banged up people don't want your pity. They just want to be treated like everyone else. Mockery, when done without prejudice or discretion, can be a form of respect. It's the closest we'll ever come to true equality."
"But when I stood up I saw my keys sprawled out on the rancid floor in a pool of water at the base of the toilet, like they were sunning themselves in filth."
"When she lead me to her bedroom I got a little nervous because it was packed with people. I just wasn't sure I could handle a deaf gangbang, all the howls and moaning like a bag of kittens drowning in a river."
"People gt stupid and delusional, sometimes on purpose. They want to make obvious mistakes. It's an easy way to turn a casual nothing of a relationship into some tragic half-assed epic, an excuse to use words like love and loss and get melodramatic about the life you wish you were leading. It's the poor man's English Patient starring somebody you never really cared about anyway."
"But when I stood up I saw my keys sprawled out on the rancid floor in a pool of water at the base of the toilet, like they were sunning themselves in filth."
"When she lead me to her bedroom I got a little nervous because it was packed with people. I just wasn't sure I could handle a deaf gangbang, all the howls and moaning like a bag of kittens drowning in a river."
"People gt stupid and delusional, sometimes on purpose. They want to make obvious mistakes. It's an easy way to turn a casual nothing of a relationship into some tragic half-assed epic, an excuse to use words like love and loss and get melodramatic about the life you wish you were leading. It's the poor man's English Patient starring somebody you never really cared about anyway."