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[siren52684]

• jesus effing christ on a stick, it is COLD outside. granted it is january in chicagoland, and it's going to suck and we're all going to think that hell has frozen over and we are living in satan's wasteland kingdom where the windchill is NEGATIVE TWENTY, but holy hell. i need to buy like three more coats to wear on top of each other simultaneously. and one of these. maybe two. just to be on the safe side. and to keep my kneecaps from getting frostbitten.
  
• speaking of it being cold and shitty, i really dislike sleeping alone in the winter. or ever. but especially in the winter. just saying. AND. since it is cold and shitty? i think i'm in the mood for a long weekend vacation. my boss owes me some days off due to all the shitty weekends i'm working for her (i'll get to THAT in a minute) and i think a few days on a beach, drinking something foofy out of a coconut or a monkey head or whatever would be right up my alley. anyone up for a vacation?
  
• so i'm working weekends. this is the SECOND weekend in a row that i have worked for my job, now, doing promotional shit and smiling and talking to people about the products we offer and so on and so forth. and quite frankly, i really miss my weekends. i LIKE sitting around with nothing to do. i LIKE being a total waste of space in front of the TV. i LIKE going out and getting things done. but i'm spending this weekend at a promotional event - shaking hands and kissing babies and shit like that.
  
  anyway. in the booth across from mine, there is a dude doing wine tasting, which, from where i stand, is pretty swank. especially as he is willing to share. wine guy is older, maybe 50's, and is in decent shape and is drawing in tons of people by the sheer fact that he has a liquor license in his booth. and about 50 bottles of wine out for tasting.
  
  wine guy hits on me all night. he asks how old i am. he asks my nationality. he asks if i'm in love with anyone (my answer is ALWAYS yes to these kinds of questions, regardless of my personal situation. unless the guy is hot. cuts down on the creep factor.). he asks if my "someone" and i are exclusive. he asks if i'm doing anything later after the show (i always respond in the affirmative to this one too.) and comments that he thinks i look like i'd be "a lot of fun". he laments my "plans" and mentions to me as an aside that "it's a damn shame you're busy. i was gonna say, if you weren't busy, and you and your guy weren't exclusive, that we go out...drink a lot of wine, have some fun, get some strawberries...like that scene from 'pretty woman' if you get my drift...."
  
  thankfully, my coworker will be there WITH me tomorrow. hopefully it will cut down on wine guy's creep-factor.
  
• i have always had such a hard time finding pants. this is CLEARLY due to the fact that i am....5'2" and curvy (read: i have big hips and a big ass and big thighs from running. i'm not a goddamn heiffer.) and like things to fit in a certain way. plus, i was of the line of thinking that ALL GOOD PANTS must come from express, since all my dressy pants are from there.
  
  ladies and gentlemen, my line of thinking was WARPED! and, due to the constant high praise of lucky brand jeans from the wonderful and amazing merryprankster, i decided to give them a shot. AND THEY ARE HEAVENLY. THEY FIT EVERYWHERE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO AND I LOVE THEM. and i do not CARE if they cost nearly $100 a pop, because they are just THAT perfect and if i have to pay $100 for jeans that FIT, then i will shell out the bucks forever because i am so happy.
  
  so friend-list girls? if you are shorter and have big asses and thighs and child-bearing hips? try 'em on. these suckers are amazing. and their store personel are superbly helpful.
  
  also, there is THIS, which is so goddamn awesome i can't stand it. that text is super covert and sneaky and kind of makes these damn expensive jeans seem like a come-on. so whoever gets to take them OFF of me (SORRY WINE GUY!) gets to see that they are lucky, courtesy of THE JEANS THEMSELVES! SO AWESOME.