*Sigh*

May 01, 2005 15:06

They say it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. Obviously those people have never tried to date Nigel. I have tried for the last time to try and reconcile this relationship. I have finally realized that the reason it is not going to work is because it never did work in the first place. And sad but true revelation. I really don't want my significant other calling me and telling me how hot his ex is. And then tell me when i question him as to why he says things like that, have him tell me it is because cause he doesn't care if he hurts my feelings or not.

FUCK THAT.

I'm not his chump anymore. Maybe I was when I was 17, But not anymore. And try I truly did. I thought he could be a man and put the past behind him. Yet he wishes to use it against me at every chance he has. I know I did some bad things but so did he. And I forgave and forgot long ago.

Plus I realize that there are things that are more important. I should be worrying about my impending motherhood, not a failed relationship. Also I don't want my child to think that getting treated the way that he does me, is okay or even treating someone that way. It's not nice to make someone feel like shit when they have apologized numerous time for their offenses. I wish there was still room for him and I to be friends but that is a long time coming.

And no matter how shitty he makes me feel, there is still a place in me that is sad about the turn of events. I tried, I really did.
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