Changes
I was just watching the Real World because I can't sleep. I realized something while watching the cast interact with eachother. We spend so much of our lives watching TV, watching movies, reading magazines, looking at people from the outside, making judgements of them without even knowing that much about them. We get to know them through a medium, and so we judge. We live in a society that is quick to judge, quick to point fingers, quick to put you in a category, and not really look at the substance of the situation.
I've been going through a lot of changes lately, and I doubt many people pay attention enough to really appreciate them. They are little things, that I see changing in myself, but others who have known me for a long time, fail to see anything other than what they have just grown accustomed to. I have become a lot more introspective, and aware of the things that I do. I always prided myself on knowing so much about myself, and yet I feel like I barely know anything. I also feel that I have been selfish, and unaware of some of my actions, most likely caused by being an only child (pretty much) and other factors that I do not wish to discuss. Becoming aware of these issues, is a great first step to changing.
I have spent a lot of my life being afraid of change. My parents got a new carpet today, and I didn't really like it (because it looks kinda 70's, it really wasn't my taste), but it really stuck out when my Mom said, "You don't like change, it's ok". She's right, but that is changing itself. I am starting to see that change is not a bad thing, and I am becoming more welcoming of it.
I've also noticed that many times I place blame on other factors, instead of where it lies (in myself).
This isn't exactly what I wanted to say, and it is severely fragmented. I blame the pneumonia and the clock.
I've been going through a lot of changes lately, and I doubt many people pay attention enough to really appreciate them. They are little things, that I see changing in myself, but others who have known me for a long time, fail to see anything other than what they have just grown accustomed to. I have become a lot more introspective, and aware of the things that I do. I always prided myself on knowing so much about myself, and yet I feel like I barely know anything. I also feel that I have been selfish, and unaware of some of my actions, most likely caused by being an only child (pretty much) and other factors that I do not wish to discuss. Becoming aware of these issues, is a great first step to changing.
I have spent a lot of my life being afraid of change. My parents got a new carpet today, and I didn't really like it (because it looks kinda 70's, it really wasn't my taste), but it really stuck out when my Mom said, "You don't like change, it's ok". She's right, but that is changing itself. I am starting to see that change is not a bad thing, and I am becoming more welcoming of it.
I've also noticed that many times I place blame on other factors, instead of where it lies (in myself).
This isn't exactly what I wanted to say, and it is severely fragmented. I blame the pneumonia and the clock.