(no subject)

[sirah]

siiiiigh. i'm starting to get sick of life, meaning the daily grind....work, work, pay bills, work. i feel like i haven't really had a day off yet i took tuesday off but it wasn't enough. i have some friends that literally don't work and don't need to pay for anything and sometimes i'm jealous of that, actually all the time i'm jealous of that. pat and i broke up. it wasn't feeling right and i was just staying in the relationship because i was feeling bad that i was leading him on in a way. he had become quietly obsessive? and it was kinda freaking me out. i don't need all of that right now. everyone is like "i can't believe you broke up with him! he's such a great guy!" well i wasn't ready for a boyfriend and i dont know when I will be ready again and i wasn't going to stay in the relationship and make myself miserable...because i was becoming miserable again. i just want to have fun with my friends who are also becoming non-existent. Roy got a girlfriend and we haven't seen or heard from him, Bryan works the total opposite hours of me (4-11), and John...it's a miracle if you can ever get a hold of him. And Casey, Bryan's gf has been shying away from me as well. I think it might be because I tell her advice that is true and she doesn't want to hear it, but she asks for it soooo. I decided this morning I want to be down with going down to the bars, whats the point.

Last weekend July 23, I threw myself a party. I had a keg and 200 jello shots...it was pretty awesome. About 60 people came and it was exciting to know that they all came for me in a way. I recieved strawberry champagne, a bottle of tequila, a 40, a $1 bill and some great cards. Another weird thing, my birthday was on the 23rd, and i turned 23, and when we returned bottles it came to $23. WEiRD