There is still a light that shines in me.
Our bodies are changing. We wake up these days, feel our bones screaming from the things we've done in the times our parents were away. All that has been consumed in the past few years has finally caught up with us, and we are finding it harder to take the medicines that may have helped us once upon a time ago. Our heads are throbbing from the never-ending hangover of restlessness. We are only recently granted the freedom we waited so long for, but all that sneaking around caught up fast. What happened to the days where I never slept?
We seek answers, every day. We set aside our addictions to heed the call. We have now, vitamins and supplements. Diets. We sit and talk patiently with doctors, natural healers, asking why. Why, why, why am I so tired? Why can I not keep up with it?
I am on Valerian and Melatonin, to adjust my body since I live in perpetual darkness. I sleep most of the day, and only see the evenings. Soon, I will not see sun at all. And my body will throb just a little bit more. I have given up my addictions. All of them. Everything is an occasional indulgence in minute amounts. I have to be mindful, every second, and figure out what I actually need. I have to pull everything from within, and push through the days where I feel groggy.
I have to exercise every day.
I have to keep a good diet.
I have to drink water.
And, remember...
a balance of supplements.
Melatonin. Valerian. B12. St. Johns. Multi. C when the rains falls.
I push and pull, but it seems my body will not respond to the mild, or accept the extreme. I am caught between a rock and a hard place. There is one final solution, but I am trying to avoid it.
"You said Prozac was helping you in the fall..."
"I'm not sure depression is the problem."
So I just wait wait wait and hope that I don't have to try that again. I don't want it to be artificial anymore.
We seek answers, every day. We set aside our addictions to heed the call. We have now, vitamins and supplements. Diets. We sit and talk patiently with doctors, natural healers, asking why. Why, why, why am I so tired? Why can I not keep up with it?
I am on Valerian and Melatonin, to adjust my body since I live in perpetual darkness. I sleep most of the day, and only see the evenings. Soon, I will not see sun at all. And my body will throb just a little bit more. I have given up my addictions. All of them. Everything is an occasional indulgence in minute amounts. I have to be mindful, every second, and figure out what I actually need. I have to pull everything from within, and push through the days where I feel groggy.
I have to exercise every day.
I have to keep a good diet.
I have to drink water.
And, remember...
a balance of supplements.
Melatonin. Valerian. B12. St. Johns. Multi. C when the rains falls.
I push and pull, but it seems my body will not respond to the mild, or accept the extreme. I am caught between a rock and a hard place. There is one final solution, but I am trying to avoid it.
"You said Prozac was helping you in the fall..."
"I'm not sure depression is the problem."
So I just wait wait wait and hope that I don't have to try that again. I don't want it to be artificial anymore.