(no subject)
so I'll be 24 tomorrow. I definitely thought I'd be in a different place in my life by now. The problem seems to be my inability to accept my future and just grow up. That is why up until now completely foregoing drinking has seemed like some impossible idea. Its sad to me that it even has to come down to that.
but really its just another step, one more crossroad in my life that I've got to pass. Before this it was my being depressed, before that it was some other trial. The depression felt like it would be a part of me for the rest of my life. That was such a helpless feeling. But then I learned to deal with it, and it doesn't come to visit so much these days. Of course when you anesthetize yourself the way I have, it sometimes gets hard to feel much of anything.
but really its just another step, one more crossroad in my life that I've got to pass. Before this it was my being depressed, before that it was some other trial. The depression felt like it would be a part of me for the rest of my life. That was such a helpless feeling. But then I learned to deal with it, and it doesn't come to visit so much these days. Of course when you anesthetize yourself the way I have, it sometimes gets hard to feel much of anything.