[backdated to April 29th.]
It was somewhat early when Mikal woke up, but it didn't really make all that much difference to her. Had she wanted to go back to sleep, she couldn't, finding herself suddenly far too worried, about any number of things, to relax enough to doze off again. Zia was there beside her, but who was she to say that it would last? He'd gone half a year without her before, apparently, and even if it had been nearly that now, there was no way to say for sure that he wouldn't choose today to tell her that he'd liked it better that way, when she wasn't there. She hadn't ever done anything to make him want her, anyway; for all intents and purposes, she shouldn't have even been here to have this opportunity. God, she had no idea how she could have spent so long utterly convinced that she hadn't deserved to be where they'd been. She had no cause to be that self-righteous, holding herself above everyone else as if she were so much better than them all. It was enough to have her, suddenly and inexplicably, on the verge of tears. All of this was wrong. She didn't deserve any of it.
Finally, careful so as not to wake Zia, she eased away just a little, sitting up so she could tuck her knees in to her chest and rest her head on them, as if there might be some comfort in it. Probably Zia wouldn't like waking up without her right there beside him, but it was the lesser of two evils; it would be worse if she did start to cry, and woke him up by doing so. All she could think about was what a mistake this had been, wanting him to stay with her, holding him back when he could so obviously do better. All of it, everything weighing on her, left her without a single idea of what to do. The only thing she did know was that she definitely wasn't about to go anywhere else, not on her own. She would just have to sit there and wait to see what happened, nerve-wracking as it was.
Finally, careful so as not to wake Zia, she eased away just a little, sitting up so she could tuck her knees in to her chest and rest her head on them, as if there might be some comfort in it. Probably Zia wouldn't like waking up without her right there beside him, but it was the lesser of two evils; it would be worse if she did start to cry, and woke him up by doing so. All she could think about was what a mistake this had been, wanting him to stay with her, holding him back when he could so obviously do better. All of it, everything weighing on her, left her without a single idea of what to do. The only thing she did know was that she definitely wasn't about to go anywhere else, not on her own. She would just have to sit there and wait to see what happened, nerve-wracking as it was.