(Untitled)

Oct 16, 2004 22:19

Every single time it has to be this way... no easy way to break it..... you contplate in your head but there is never the right conclusion that you comes to. maybe some other time or another day.. not right now. It may be time for you but not me... please respect this and dont condem me for something that i feel strongly about.... you are suppose ( Read more... )

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fear_is_g0ne October 17 2004, 19:48:09 UTC
I'm going to type something that I wrote shortly after we started going out...my dad and I just had a huge argument and I felt totally walked over by him...this is what I wrote...

"Numb is how I feel, I can see I should be furious but I am not. I can feel the quaking screams of my mind, the blood-drawn clench in my fists...but still I cannot feel the same rush of hatred and anger. Do I not care anymore? Has this cause to challenge authority lost its luster to me? Do I see through this hatred and hipocracy my father has woven? Or does something greater beckon the attention of my gaze? Yea, let it be known that love indeed does conquer all. Even though I can't see her or hear her, I feel her love still asleep inside me, and it calms the tides of my wrath. Deep inside me, I can feel it like a cloud holds back the rain just as her love holds back my wrath. Perhaps I vest too much in that which is flesh and blood, but o the mere touch of her hand comforts me. Gold almighty brought her to me to begin with and all glory is due to him. Could it be he's been preparing me for this for so long? Have I ran past the mark? passed the ever suffering test? I PRAY it is true! For what rich blessing the lord has bequeathed me! My heart no longer seeks a quarrel! I am for now at peace...and I pray I am given the strength to hold it steadfast. To trust God is to know peace for his yoke is easy and her burden is light and the blessings he bestows are beyond compare. I feel no grudge, hatred or anger...the joy of my heart is a river. My intention was anger when I first started to write this letter, and yet it has become a letter of praise...God's love through another is like water on my burning skin or drink to the dry mouth...and I hope I never have to thirst again..."

-Andrew
7:42pm
9-27-04

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