Something personal I'm sorta proud of
So, if anyone who reads my blog here doesn't know, I am a self injurer. I haven't injured in probably 3 to 4 months now, but it's something I lapse back into every now and again and end up hating myself for it. Today, after thinking it over for a few months, I removed myself from the cutting communities I belonged to here on LJ. It's not because I feel like I am forever free of the urge to injure. I don't think I ever will be honestly. The main reason I removed myself was that I just can't be part of a group that almost encourages injuring. There are hardly ever mentions of how people are trying to triumph over their addiction, rather the members seem to support each others cutting. And well, they are essentially, comprised of LOTS of stereotypical teenage girls who are (Yep, I'm going to say it) LOOKING FOR ATTENTION! Yay!! Push the mass impression that all injurers are really just narcissitic, attention seeking girls. Ahhhh, it does great things for those of us who really hate that others see our mistakes on us and really want nothing more than to never have to deal with the urge or need to injure again. Good job! So, yeah, based on that, I've finally let them go.
Personally, like I said, I haven't injured in a few months. There's not been any urge to either, which is a big change for me. Generally, there seemed to be a desire to injure at least once every couple weeks. Although I've had some pretty down moments in the last few months, my mind hasn't strayed to cutting. Heh, I did have a moment last night though where I found one of my X-acto knives and thought "Wow, I've not wanted to injure in a long time" I'll take that as progress ;)
Personally, like I said, I haven't injured in a few months. There's not been any urge to either, which is a big change for me. Generally, there seemed to be a desire to injure at least once every couple weeks. Although I've had some pretty down moments in the last few months, my mind hasn't strayed to cutting. Heh, I did have a moment last night though where I found one of my X-acto knives and thought "Wow, I've not wanted to injure in a long time" I'll take that as progress ;)