[ the video shows a brief shot of the sky, before blurring and showing the ground in the Garden Zone, and a pair of sneaker-clad feet. ]
[ muttered ] Oak and ash, this is worse than a damn cell phone. I can't even tell if it's on.
[ another blur, and there's more sky, and a bit of chin and straight brown hair ] Damn tetchy gadgety... I give up.
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Read more... )
Enjoy your stay!
... sorry, couldn't resist. Hi, I'm Shaun Mason.
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Except for how she is. A little. Dammit, Shaun, stop reminding her of Quentin, she doesn't need to be missing that boy. ]
Toby Daye, and you're not as funny as you think you are.
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Hey, I've been told that, now and again, but a guy's gotta keep on trying, right?
Anyhow. Welcome! You get used to it, and trust me, the planet down there is kind of worse-off.
You related to May? I talked with her earlier. Like a few weeks back.
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[ She says this dryly, like she's used to it. She is with her, but part of her is just amused that May had to go and, well, pick another month as a name. Even if it makes sense. Damn Fetch. But she's happy to let people here believe they're twins - Toby has no doubt her mother would've gone with a name like May if she'd had a twin, after all. ]
There's a planet? Jesus, this place keeps getting weirder.
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And yup! There is. The surface is uninhabitable, the tunnels have magma worms and a few equally welcoming locals, and, I gather, rebels which aren't too happy with things, I wouldn't recommend it as a vacation spot.
Which makes it exactly like a place I go to visit on my spare time, I'm working on coming up with reasons to get back down there.
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It's kind of unnerving. ]
Yeah, well, my mother thought she was being terribly clever. No one else thought so.
Do you... have a death wish or something?
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Not usually, although the year or so before I came here maybe doesn't count when considering the answer. But it's my job, you see. Go poke at the dangerous things with a stick, then come back and tell everybody about it so that they can stay home safe and still get their adrenaline rush. Besides, I learned from the best at it right at home.
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She thinks Shaun is nuts ]
...Remind me to never visit wherever you're from. I get nearly killed enough as it is without people considering it entertainment.
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Hey, we have zombies!
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Yeah, that's not exactly incentive to change my mind, kid.
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I mean, home, sweet home and all, but not going where you're not prepared for if you can help it? Smart.
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Wait. How about that, if something like that happens to you around here, you give me a call and I'll show you how to make the best of it and people will be asking for more?
[What. If she's got the gift of an Irwin, he's not going to waste it, right?]
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Yeah, how about not? I don't need anyone asking for more. I have been shot, stabbed, and beat all to hell more times than I really care to think about in the past few years.
More is the last think I need. The only reason I'd call you would be if I needed a flashy distraction.
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They'll be asking for more footage, and you can make it all the better for being rare and real. I mean, the whole ratings and payments system isn't nearly as set up here, but people knowing your face and being around to help you when you need? How's that sound?
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Well, considering my usual employers aren't here, I'm hoping to have a vacation, to be perfectly honest. I appreciate the offer of help, but I don't go getting into trouble because it's fun, I just get in trouble because it's my job.
Job's not here, trouble's not here, I can actually look forward to a stretch of time when I don't have to decide whether or not to get stitches.
[ That's a dirty lie - the moment there's trouble, she'll be right up in it. She has a very unfortunate hero complex. ]
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