{001} Audio-to-Video; What. The Hell. Just happened.

[im_sorry_dave]

Good... [he pauses for a moment, as it is rather difficult to gauge time near Zone 00.]

Afternoon, I suppose. I am an H-A-L Nine-Thousand computer. I was made active in Urbana, Illinois; January twelfth, nineteen ninety-two. With introductions finished, I'd like to know exactly what exactly happened to the Discovery.

[HAL turns on the video feed

Comments

[woobietrope]

eei... eeii ell...

[Tilts his head.]

name

long

[im_sorry_dave]

You may call me Hal. I'm very accustomed to it.

[woobietrope]

AAALL.

[Peers at the trashed space station behind the other robot.]

discovery

break ?

[im_sorry_dave]

... [Close enough.]

Yes. It seems to have crashed through that anomaly there.

[noblefive]

...1992? [ what ]

[im_sorry_dave]

Yes.

Is there a problem?

[noblefive]

You seem a little too advanced to be from 1992.

[im_sorry_dave]

There are three Nine-Thousand units in existence, two on Earth and myself. Though I suppose by those standards, I am still quite advanced.

[hows_the_knee]

[Sarah isn't sending you a message, Hal. She's just monitoring and recording all of your transmissions, and all of your conversations.

She is not at all pleased to be receiving a message from a fucking computer.]

[im_sorry_dave]

[He'll have you know that he is a space exploration computer and you are extremely rude.]

[hows_the_knee]

[Better rude than dead...

You're a computer that can think, and that's all she needs to know. Watch your back, Hal.]

DUN DUN DUN

[im_sorry_dave]

[And you are a suspicious lady he doesn't really know so...]

action up the butt

[suckitimashark]

[Oh hello abandoned ship. You are only on fire a little bit. Virgil saunters on in to look for parts.]

Action ∞

[im_sorry_dave]

[Who is that? Why is he going near the Discovery. HAL is going to step right in front of him now.]

Excuse me, but what do you think you're doing. That is property of the American government.

[Translation: Back away from his ship.]

[suckitimashark]

What-ho, my good sir. I'm not sure where America is, but I can assure you they don't need this ship at the moment. Me on the other hand... I could use a ship like this. Or at least parts from it.

[im_sorry_dave]

Yes, but if we do need the ship in the near future, I'd prefer it if there weren't parts missing. I believe you can see the logic in that.

[Not moving from in front of you, kthnx.]

hologram

[ascens]

Well, you certainly came with a big carry-on.

Hologram ∞? (HTML FAIL)

[im_sorry_dave]

Are you the A.I. who is in command of this station? My apologies about the Discovery.

[He looks at the ship behind him and then back to her. Funny. A.I. never commended space stations back in Earth.] Pleased to meet you.