(no subject)
[The screen flickers on and... there's nothing there.]
[What, he IS a ninja.]
Mom --
Look, mom. I appreciate the surprise trials of skill, I really do -- wait, no I don't. But the AI was a nice touch. And everybody else sounding confused. Very realistic. Look, that's not the point!
The point is, I was kind of in the middle of reattaching somebody's leg when you decided to knock me out, or did you conveniently not notice? You know there's a time limit on these things, right? Like the expiration dates on severed legs are shorter than milk? The guy's gonna sue me if that thing starts rotting while I'm here running through your ninja tests, and do you have any idea how complicated malpractice suits are --
Are you reading me? Mom? Dad? DAD. Dark Smoke Puncher? God I hate your name. Dark Smoke Puncher. Are you there? Get mom.
[A pause, like the guy on the other end is waiting.]
SMOKE PUNCHER, IF YOU'RE THERE AND NOT ANSWERING, I SWEAR I'LL POST YOUR DIARY TO YOUR MYSPACE TOMORROW. ALL OF IT. INCLUDING THE POETRY. INCLUDING THE POETRY ABOUT COUNTER-STRIKE.
[Another long pause.]
...
......
[The camera spins and there's a glimpse of a man in a lab coat for a second. He has a ninja mask covering his face and looks all sorts of annoyed.]
...you have got to be flarking pooping me.
[What, he IS a ninja.]
Mom --
Look, mom. I appreciate the surprise trials of skill, I really do -- wait, no I don't. But the AI was a nice touch. And everybody else sounding confused. Very realistic. Look, that's not the point!
The point is, I was kind of in the middle of reattaching somebody's leg when you decided to knock me out, or did you conveniently not notice? You know there's a time limit on these things, right? Like the expiration dates on severed legs are shorter than milk? The guy's gonna sue me if that thing starts rotting while I'm here running through your ninja tests, and do you have any idea how complicated malpractice suits are --
Are you reading me? Mom? Dad? DAD. Dark Smoke Puncher? God I hate your name. Dark Smoke Puncher. Are you there? Get mom.
[A pause, like the guy on the other end is waiting.]
SMOKE PUNCHER, IF YOU'RE THERE AND NOT ANSWERING, I SWEAR I'LL POST YOUR DIARY TO YOUR MYSPACE TOMORROW. ALL OF IT. INCLUDING THE POETRY. INCLUDING THE POETRY ABOUT COUNTER-STRIKE.
[Another long pause.]
...
......
[The camera spins and there's a glimpse of a man in a lab coat for a second. He has a ninja mask covering his face and looks all sorts of annoyed.]
...you have got to be flarking pooping me.