Video;

[fusrodah]

'--utton to begin broadcast.' What's a broadcast? A spell of some sort?

[There's an elf on your feed, Sacrosanct. And she's glancing back-and-forth between her wearable and a set of sloppily scrawled instructions with the kind of look that says 'I have no idea what's going on here, and I doubt I ever will.']

Bloody mages. [Looking back at the

Comments

video; icon not shown but relevant

[timeturntable]

First the catgirl, now shitty elf knockoffs? Fuck if this place doesn't just keep getting better.

[ Dave's just going to raaaaaise one brow. After a moment- ]

Gonna have to be more specific than that, mamacita. We're basically rolling in the damn things - can't walk around in my basement without tripping over some shitty-ass draconic minion.

video; ilu and ihu

[fusrodah]

Sir Network, I presume! Greetings!

[Smile, smile! Except the feed's still centred on her nostril. Erm.]

I was under the impression there would be but one dragon when I arrived at my destination. Pah. No matter! Fear not, my good man, for I will rid you of your scaly menace posthaste!

[Wait

Wait]

You keep dragons in your basement? Y'ffre!

video; ilu

[timeturntable]

[ ...god, she's dense. Why the fuck not, might as well play with it. ]

Yeah, see, that was the case when you got sent over. Now? They've started breeding.

[ SUCH GRAVE EXPRESSIONS DAVE IS CAPABLE OF. And then, after a moment, his pokerface cracks.

He snrrrks and grins. ]

Hold the fucking phone. Did you seriously just yiff at me?

video;

[fusrodah]

Breeding?!

[HOW
BUT
WHY
THAT's NOT POSSIBLE

IS IT

WHAT]

That isn't... Hm.

[Her nostril is now viewing Strange Horned Fish Child with great suspicion.]

I invoked the name of Y'ffre, young sir. Is He not revered by the Bosmer in these parts...?

video;

[featheryasshole]

Oh for fuck's sake. Elves, seriously?

Can't really help you with the dragon, but if you've got any questions about this place, now's the time to ask.

video;

[fusrodah]

[That's a ghost.

An orange ghost.

A racist orange hagraven ghost.

Huh.]

Yes. Elves. Is it one of my kin who holds you in thrall, child? I assure you, not all of us are practitioners of the necromantic arts! In fact - when the World Eater is put down, I shall make it a priority to free you.

[SIDEQUEST: SPOTTED.]

video;

[featheryasshole]

[...]

Yes, that's precisely right. I'm a ghost in the thrall of an evil elf. And I am so grateful to you for that offer, you don't even know.

video;

[fusrodah]

[Ah! That's more like it!]

As I feared! But soon your torment shall be at an end. Where is your master, young one? I shall end him with all the swiftness and courage of a true Dovahkiin!

[SO PROUD. Please be impressed, Orange Hagraven Ghost Boy Person. Please. It's been a very hard day.]

[ Video ]

[rustigedraak]

A dragon, huh? They got those where you're from?

[ Oh ho ho, he's going to keep an eye on this one. ]

[ Video ]

[fusrodah]

[By now, she's half-figured out the view on the wearable. Have an incredulous stare instead of a look at the contents of her nose!]

Ah, well, yes. As of late. Though I assure you, I have been doing far more than my share at rectifying that!

Then none have passed this way yet? Not even a great black one?

[So disappointed. And confused. DESTINY, Y U DO DIS?]

[ Video ]

[rustigedraak]

[ Ladon appreciates the lack of up-nose shots. Really. ]

Rectifyin'... Dragon slayer, huh?

[ It's really hard to keep the venom out of his voice. But he manages. Thank God for all those years dealing with morons in the mob. ]

You're better off slayin' robots here. Got plenty of those.

[ Video ]

[fusrodah]

No mere dragon slayer, good sir! I am Dovahkiin. Dragonborn!

[And clearly THIS IS IMPORTANT. Please, hold your applause.]

I fear I am unfamiliar with your... ro-bots. But if they are also in need of slaying, I can surely provide you with assistance after unleashing justice upon the World Eater and his kin!

[Isn't she generous?]

Video;

[redancestor]

I cannot say if there are any here. I know there are back home but, so far, I have seen none in the skies.

video;

[fusrodah]

[What an... odd-looking Dunmer. Y'ffre, why does nothing here look like it's supposed to?]

Unfortunate. In truth, I am beginning to believe I have been duped - misdirected in some fashion! I should have expected such trickery from a Dovah. Bah.

[So embarrassed.]

video;

[redancestor]

Ah so the others have not explained it to you yet? Wherever you were on your way to, this is not it. This place pulls people at random to it and there is no way out as far as we know.

video;

[fusrodah]

I am uncertain that you understand, sir. I cannot be pulled or ensnared anywhere. I have a destiny.

[Hmm. This is worrying, though.]

Do you mean to imply many people are trapped here?

[Must be some powerful magic to keep so many people imprisoned! Gods.]

video;

[heterochromiia]

[ WHAT IS HE EVEN SMELLING HERE........ ]

Did you really...address the network? Personally?

video;

[fusrodah]

[OH GODS WHAT IS THAT.]

Child! By the gods, that is by far the most - [CHOKE] - advanced case of rockjoint I have ever seen! I implore you, get to a healer with the utmost haste!

video;

[heterochromiia]

Okay, one, fuck you, I'm not that little. Two, this isn't rockjoint, whatever that is.

[ Waves his robot hand! ]

Just had a bit of an alteration, a while back. See?

video;

[fusrodah]

[See this? This is unashamed gawking.]

Such intricate metalwork - Y'ffre. I am no novice to smithery myself, young sir, but that is - gods' blood!

[SO IMPRESS.]