Their Story Part 2: Fact
Title: Fact
Author: singoutloud25
Pairing: JunSeung
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Romance
Summary: "Life is never easy, nor is love. But they are both worth fighting for."
Author's Notes: I am sooooo sorry that this is as late as it is!!!!!
Fact
For three days the Beast members were on edge. For three days they dealt with the emotions and happenings of Junhyung and Hara’s relationship, the silent, heartbreaking war between Junhyung and Hyunseung, and the preparations for their Asian tour.
For three days Junhyung and Hyunseung stayed silent. They spoke to no one and when possible kept to themselves. For three days they did everything in their power to ignore one another, to stay as far away from the other as possible.
For three days Hyunseung didn’t shed a tear, he felt too dead inside to do anything. For three days his eyes showed nothing, no life. His dancing and singing held no emotion, no passion, his whole being stiff and lifeless.
For three days Junhyung destroyed himself inside. He beat and cursed and damned himself. He screamed and yelled at his mind for being stupid and scared. He hated himself for giving in.
For three days he silently watched as Hyunseung drifted farther and farther away. He watched as the older male cut himself off from everyone and hid in his own world. He watched as the other members fought to keep their opinions and concerns to themselves. He watched as they shielded and protected Hyunseung, trying their best to bring the dancer back, all the while giving him confused and bewildered looks, none of them truly understanding why this was all happening.
For three days Junhyung held the tears in, fighting them back until his eyes burned so much it became hard to see. He held back his frustration, pain, and anguish. For three days he replayed every word, look, and movement from his last encounter with Hyunseung. His heart screamed in anguish at not being able to reach out and touch Hyunseung, to tell him the truth. For three days he kept the truth to himself, unsure of whether or not he was ready to admit to it.
~*~
Junhyung walked out of the bathroom and stopped just before he reached the entrance to the kitchen, his curiosity piqued by the conversation ensuing.
“You have to eat something Hyung.”
“Seung, you’ve hardly eaten in the past couple of days. Please sit down and eat something.”
“Please eat something Hyunnie. We’re leaving tomorrow for the tour and you need your strength. Please eat.”
“You’re going to get sick again if you don’t eat.”
Junhyung shook his head. He rounded the corner to enter the kitchen, but ended up colliding with Hyunseung, his hands reaching out on instinct to grab onto the dancer’s arms.
Everyone went silent as the two of them looked at each other.
Junhyung watched as Hyunseung’s eyes showed emotion for the first time in days. He watched as those doe eyes showed shock, pain, and pleasure all seemingly at once. His fingers burned as they touched Hyunseung’s skin, as they felt the latter tense and freeze beneath them. He licked his own lips as he watched Hyunseung’s part in shock. He had to fight back every urge telling him to pull Hyunseung into his arms, to kiss him and touch him and love him.
“Let go.” Hyunseung’s voice sounded distant and tired.
Junhyung clenched his jaw, once again fighting back the tears. He dropped his hands to his side, clenching them into fists as he closed his eyes. He felt Hyunseung step pass him, heard him walk quickly down the hall and close the bedroom door. He felt his heart break.
He opened his eyes and was met with sympathetic gazes. He heard Hyunseung sob and then sob again and he finally broke. He let out a frustrated yell as the tears spilled from his eyes. He screamed as he grabbed the chair in front of him and threw it against the kitchen wall.
Junhyung ignored the calls of his name as he ran from the dorm and into the elevator, Doojoon right behind him. As soon as the doors closed Doojoon pressed the emergency stop button.
He turned to Junhyung, the latter crying as he leaned against the wall.
“Jun…”
“What do I do Doojoon?” Junhyung locked desperate, glossy eyes with his best friend. “Tell me what to do.”
“What are you ta…”
“I love him!” Junhyung let out sob as he slid to the ground. He looked up at Doojoon. “I love him and I’ve ruined everything.” He lowered his head as he let the sobs free.
Doojoon stood still for a moment, watching as his best friend cried in pain and anguish, unsure of what to say. He sat down next to Junhyung and placed a comforting hand on the rappers shoulder.
“I love him, I think I always have. But I’m a coward! I got scared and ran!” He wiped at his eyes. “I gave in to all my fears and insecurities and gave up.” He took a shaky breath. “Over the past several months my love for him has grown more than I thought it could and I wanted to act on it and not care who saw.” He pulled one of his knees up to his chest and placed an arm across it. “Everything that has happened between us on stage and in front of cameras wasn’t fanserivce, it was all real. He’s the one I want to touch and hold first when we win. He’s the one I want to share secret smiles and caresses with. He’s the one I want to sing ‘I love you’ too. And I did all of that in front of people because I wanted too, because I felt like I could.” He closed his eyes, tears sliding down his cheeks.
“But then people starting noticing, you guys, our friends, fans, management, everyone. I got scared and panicked. I started to pull back and ignore him,” he let out a sob, “but it was so hard.
So I thought if I started something with someone else it would make things easier, but it didn’t. And then Hara and I were spotted and, well…” He trailed off, not needing to say what they both already knew.
“It’s not fair. Why can’t we love each other without their being any complications?” Junhyung let out another sob as he punched the floor. “Why does the world have to be like it is? Why do we have to be judged and criticized for who we are and for who we love?” He looked at Doojoon. “Why can’t it be easy?”
“Life is never easy, neither is love.” Doojoon caressed the back of Junhyung’s neck. “But they are both worth fighting for, especially love. The love that you and Hyunseung have is special. It’s strong and pure and true. It’s real.”
“He won’t even look at me.”
“That’s because he’s confused. You did what you did, but then you act how you’re acting. He doesn’t understand and it’s hurting him more. I, and the others, know that you love him and want him. You know that you love and want him and now it’s up to you to do something about it.” Doojoon wiped at Junhyung’s tears. “And yes, you will have to keep it a secret. You’ll have to be careful and strong enough to hold yourself back at times. But it will be worth the hardship, because the two of you will be together.”
“What about Hara?” Junhyung pulled both his knees up to his chest. “Doojoon, I lied to her. I used her.”
Doojoon nodded his head. “That’s true. She’s going to be hurt and upset, but you have to tell her, not only because you’re ready to be with Seung, but because it’s the right thing to do.” He wiped at more of Junhyung’s tears. “You and Hara have been good friends for a long time, it may take her a while, but she’ll forgive.”
Junhyung rested his chin on his knees. “What about the press? The fans?”
Doojoon ruffled Junhyung’s hair. “The fans will understand and I’m guessing that Jesters will be ecstatic. As for the press,” he grinned, “that’s what management is for. They’ll take care of it.”
Junhyung was quiet for a moment. He turned his head so he was looking at Doojoon, his cheek resting on his knees. “What about Hyunseung? How am I going to get him to listen to me?”
“That’s a good question. After what just happened, he’s going to take extra care to avoid you. And if you do get him alone he’s going to fight you.”
“You’re not helping.”
Doojoon laughed. “I know.” He wiped the last few remaining tears off Junhyung’s cheek. “You’re going to have to get him alone at a time you can’t be interrupted and he can’t run away from you.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “It sounds like we’re conspiring to do something bad.”
Junhyung let out a small laugh. Doojoon smiled.
“It will have to be soon though Jun. Fans are bound to notice that the two of you aren’t doing well.”
“Will you help me? When the time is right, will you help me?”
Doojoon grinned. “You know I will.”
Junhyung turned his head forward and smile. He was going to fix this. He had to.
~*~
“I know.”
Junhyung’s head snapped up. “You what?”
Hara gave a soft smile as she sat down next to Junhyung. “I said I know. I have known.” She let out a small laugh at the look of confusion on Junhyung’s face. “Only an idiot would be blind enough not to notice the feelings you and Hyunseung-Oppa have for each other, especially those of us who are close to you.”
Junhyung was confused, grateful, but confused. “But why…”
“Why did I say yes to ‘dating’ you?”
Junhyung nodded his head.
“Because I could tell that you really wanted me to, that you needed help. And that’s what friends do for one another, the help each other out when and however they can.” Hara smiled.
“Besides, I owed you. You helped me through one of the toughest months of my life.”
“Hara, you risked a lot by saying yes.”
“I know, but it’s not like we expected to get caught on a date. And the backlash from our relationship being outed wasn’t all that bad. It really could have been worse.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I am. Now, have you talked to management yet?”
Junhyung sighed as he gave a disgruntled look. “Yeah.”
Hara nudged his arm. “And?”
“They were pissed, which I expected, what I’ve done is really stupid.”
“But…”
Junhyung rubbed the back of his neck. “They said that we need to keep acting like we’re dating. They said that if we were to say that we broke it off now, after only a few days, that everyone would think it was some sort of publicity stunt. They’re going to request that the topic be kept out of interviews we do. They aren’t going to make us take any pictures and show them off or anything like that; we don’t have to flaunt it. We just have to let everyone think that we really are dating.” He looked at Hara. “I’m so sorry Hara.”
Hara placed a hand on Junhyung’s shoulder. “It’s okay. I told you that I was going to help, that I want to help you and that’s what I’m going to do.”
Junhyung pulled her into a hug, kissing her temple. “You’re amazing you know that.”
“I know.”
~*~
“The press conference starts in twenty guys.” Joonkun announced to the Beast members. “I have to go double check on some things. I’ll be back in fifteen.” He looked the boys over. “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”
There was a chorus of acknowledgement from the Beast members as their manager walked out of the waiting room, leaving the six of them alone.
Junhyung watched Hyunseung out of the corner of his eye; the latter was messing with his phone, ignoring everyone. He examined Hyunseung’s eyes. The stylist’s had done what they could to cover up the dancer’s eye bags, eye bags caused from not sleeping and endless crying.
It was getting harder for Junhyung to wait, to wait to talk to Hyunseung, to tell him that he loved him. It was getting harder to watch as Hyunseung shut everyone out, to listen as he cried, and to keep being ignored. It was getting harder to keep his own tears back, to keep his mouth shut and his hands off of Hyunseung.
Just as he was about to look away, Hyunseung looked up, his gaze meeting with Junhyung’s. Junhyung watched as Hyunseung stood up, the dancer’s eyes glossing over, and exited the room, mumbling about having to go to the bathroom.
Junhyung couldn’t wait any longer. He waited for a moment, until a stylist came in and distracted Doojoon. He stood up quietly and quickly exited the room. As he entered the bathroom, Hyunseung was exiting one of the stalls, tissue dabbing at his eyes.
Hyunseung took one look at Junhyung and began backing up towards the wall.
“Get the hell out.”
Junhyung clenched his fists. “Seung, it’s a public bathroom.”
“I don’t fucking care. Get out.”
Junhyung winced at the anger in Hyunseung’s eyes and the venom in his voice. He gathered his resolve and took a few steps towards the older male. “Not until you listen to me.”
Hyunseung shook his head, his back hitting the wall. “There’s nothing for you to say. None of it was real so there can’t be anything to SAY.” He yelled his last word as Junhyung lunged at him, the rapper placing a hand on either side of Hyunseung’s face.
“Stop saying that!” Junhyung took a deep breath. “Please stop saying that.”
Hyunseung closed his eyes as new tears began to fall. “Why would I stop saying something that’s true? It wasn’t real.”
“Dammit Hyunseung!” Junhyung slammed his hands on the wall, causing the man against it to jump. “I said stop saying that!”
Hyunseung’s eyes shot open, all the pain and anger he was feeling reflecting in his tear filled eyes. “Why? Why should I stop saying it?” He was yelling, tears falling from his cheek and down his neck. “Why?!”
Junhyung swallowed as he tried his hardest to keep his tears back and his emotions under control. He couldn’t think of what to say, how to phrase what he so desperately needed to say.
Hyunseung shook his head. “I hate you.” It was whispered.
Junhyung’s eyes went wide. “What?”
Hyunseung clenched his jaw. “I said I hate you.” He shoved at Junhyung’s chest, a sob escaping his lips. “Now leave me alone!”
Just then the bathroom door burst open, a frantic looking Beast and Joonkun entering the bathroom.
Kikwang took several steps forward. “What the hell is going on?”
Doojoon beckoned to Junhyung. “Jun let him go.”
Hyunseung didn’t wait for Junhyung to move; instead he shoved him aside and walked into Kikwang’s arms, the latter escorting the crying dancer out of the bathroom.
“Shit.” Joonkun ran a hand through his hair. “Doojoon, you handle Junhyung. The rest of you come with me.”
Doojoon waited for the others to leave before shoving Junhyung against the wall, the latter closing his eyes. “Are you fucking insane? I told you to wait until the time was right! Not to corner him in a bathroom where everyone can hear him and you yelling!”
“It’s getting harder to wait.” Junhyung opened his eyes, tears beginning to slowly fall from them. “It fucking hurts to have him be so close and not be able to talk to him or touch him.” He let out a sob. “It fucking hurts!”
Doojoon’s eyes softened. He pulled Junhyung into a hug, the younger male crying into his neck. “I know Jun, I know.”
Junhyung let out a sob as he gripped at Doojoon’s back. “How much longer do I have to wait?”
“Until tonight, wait until tonight. Seung and I are in the same room.” He took a shuddered breath as he tried to hold back his own tears as his best friend sobbed in his arms. “I’ll make sure that you can talk to him tonight. I promise.”
~*~
Doojoon ran a hand through his hair as he thought about the press conference and the concert. Everything had gone well, at least for the most part. As soon as they had stepped out in front of the cameras for the conference, Doojoon had noticed the curious and concerned looks from fans and the fingers pointed at Hyunseung and Junhyung. The stylists had done the best they could with make-up, but it just wasn’t enough.
Several times during the conference he heard Hyunseung sniffling, it being obvious that the dancer was trying to hold back his tears. The sniffling and the fighting back tears happened during the concert as well; at least until they were sitting down talking and Hyunseung’s tears began to fall, Junhyung’s tears falling at the end of the concert. As soon as the concert was over Junhyung and Hyunseung both shut down, neither saying anything, not even when they got back to the hotel.
Doojoon had texted the other members to inform them of what was going to happen shortly, him letting Junhyung into his and Hyunseung’s room and leaving them their alone to work things out. They all agreed that it was the best thing to do, that it was what needed to be done.
He sighed just as Hyunseung walked out of the bathroom, the latter in boxers and a black wife-beater. Hyunseung gave Doojoon a quick glance before climbing into bed.
It was time.
Doojoon stood up. “I’m going to go make sure that everyone is settled for the night. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He received some sort of muffled sound as acknowledgement before walking out the door.
He knocked on the door to the room across from his, the door opening and him being greeted with the other four members.
“He’s in bed.” Doojoon walked up to Junhyung and gave him the room key. “He’s going to think it’s me coming in.”
Junhyung nodded. “I know.”
“Remember to be, you know, patient.”
“I know.”
“Don’t forget to, you know, speak from your heart.”
Junhyung gave a small laugh. “Doojoon, I know.” He began heading for the door.
“Good luck.” Yoseob bit his lip as he gave Junhyung thumbs up.
“Thanks.”
“You two are meant to be together, Seung-hyung knows that.” Dongwoon gave him a reassuring smile.
“I know Woonie.”
“Don’t force him.” Kikwang gave Junhyung a pointed look. “I mean it. If I hear any screaming I’ll come over there and kick you’re a-mph.” He was cut off by Dongwoon’s hand.
Doojoon glared at Kikwang before turning to look at Junhyung. “It’ll be fine, I promise.”
Junhyung nodded his head and left the room. He walked across the hall, took a deep breath before unlocking the door and entering Hyunseung’s room. The room was dark except for the lamp next to the bed that Hyunseung was laying on, his back to Junhyung.
Junhyung walked over to the bed, crawled in, and climbed underneath the covers. Hyunseung didn’t turn around.
“I’m fine Doojoon.” His voice was quiet and weak.
Junhyung placed a hand on Hyunseung’s upper arm.
Hyunseung sighed and began to turn over. “I said I’m fi…” He stopped, his eyes growing wide at the sight of Junhyung.
Hyunseung began to climb out of the bed, but Junhyung wasn’t going to let him leave.
Junhyung grabbed onto Hyunseung’s arm, pulled him onto his back, and then straddled him. He stopped a fist to his face and grabbed both of Hyunseung’s hands, pinning them above the dancers head.
“Stop Seung.”
Hyunseung tried freeing his hands. “Get off!”
Junhyung tightened his grip. “No! Now stop.”
Hyunseung let out a sob. “Fuck you Junhyung!” He bucked his hips up in an attempt to get Junhyung off. “Get off!”
Junhyung squeezed his legs tighter. “No Seung. Please just stop and listen to me.”
Hyunseung began to fully cry. “No! I told you there’s nothing to say. It wasn’t real!”
“Stop saying that!” Junhyung’s voice cracked as his own tears began to fall. “Please Seung, please don’t say that.”
Hyunseung let out a sob. “Why are you crying?”
“Because.” Junhyung let out his own sob. “Because I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Seung.” He let out another sob. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I caused you pain.” Another sob. “I’m sorry I was such a coward and that I ran away. I’m sorry that I did what I did.” He let out another sob as he loosened his grip on Hyunseung’s hands. “I’m sorry that I lied.”
Hyunseung was still crying. “What do you mean you lied?”
“I lied to you about Hara. The only feelings I have for her are in the form of friendship.” He shook his head as he let out another sob, tears falling from his cheeks onto Hyunseung’s chest. “I asked her out because I got scared.”
“Scared of what?”
He locked gazes with Hyunseung, both their eyes glossy and full of tears. “I was scared of what was going on between us. Scared of what I was feeling, of how deep I was falling. I was scared of what everyone was seeing.” He let out another sob. “But I’m not scared of any of those things anymore. The only thing I’m afraid of now is losing you.”
Hyunseung closed his eyes as he let out a sob.
Junhyung bent down and rested his head against Hyunseung’s. “I’m afraid of not being able to be with you. I’m afraid of not being able to talk to you, to hold you, to touch you, to kiss you.”
He intertwined his fingers with Hyunseung’s, the latter squeezing their fingers together. “I’m afraid of not being able to love you.”
Hyunseung let out another sob, his eyes squeezing shut as tears flowed from them.
Junhyung rubbed his forehead against Hyunseung’s. “I love you Hyunseung. I love you so much that it hurts.” He let out a cry. “I love you and only you. I want you and only you.”
Hyunseung opened his eyes, another sob filling the room. “I love you too.”
Junhyung let out a cry before crashing their lips together in a kiss that was full of love and love only. Their lips matched move for move, their tears combining, cheek to cheek, lip to lip. Their hands moved to each other’s hair, neck, faces.
“I love you Junhyung. I love you. I love you. I love you.” Hyunseung breathed out against Junhyung’s lips.
Junhyung caressed Hyunseung’s cheek, his thumb wiping away tears. “And I love you.”
Hyunseung ran his fingers down the side of Junhyung’s face, the tips of them becoming wet with tears. “Love me. Now.” He smiled. “Show me.”
Junhyung smiled as their lips met again, this time more passionate. He would show Hyunseung how much he loved him. Always.
~*~
The fans screamed and cheered as Beast sang, danced, smiled, and laughed. Hyunseung and Junhyung looked over at one another, their eyes glowing, and smiled, that smile that only they knew the meaning behind. Because to the world, to the fans, Junhyung and Hyunseung’s story was one of fiction. A story that could be written and read. A story that could be changed and manipulated. But to them, to Junhyung and Hyunseung, their story was real. Their love was real and strong and unchanging and nothing would ever change that.
Author: singoutloud25
Pairing: JunSeung
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Romance
Summary: "Life is never easy, nor is love. But they are both worth fighting for."
Author's Notes: I am sooooo sorry that this is as late as it is!!!!!
Fact
For three days the Beast members were on edge. For three days they dealt with the emotions and happenings of Junhyung and Hara’s relationship, the silent, heartbreaking war between Junhyung and Hyunseung, and the preparations for their Asian tour.
For three days Junhyung and Hyunseung stayed silent. They spoke to no one and when possible kept to themselves. For three days they did everything in their power to ignore one another, to stay as far away from the other as possible.
For three days Hyunseung didn’t shed a tear, he felt too dead inside to do anything. For three days his eyes showed nothing, no life. His dancing and singing held no emotion, no passion, his whole being stiff and lifeless.
For three days Junhyung destroyed himself inside. He beat and cursed and damned himself. He screamed and yelled at his mind for being stupid and scared. He hated himself for giving in.
For three days he silently watched as Hyunseung drifted farther and farther away. He watched as the older male cut himself off from everyone and hid in his own world. He watched as the other members fought to keep their opinions and concerns to themselves. He watched as they shielded and protected Hyunseung, trying their best to bring the dancer back, all the while giving him confused and bewildered looks, none of them truly understanding why this was all happening.
For three days Junhyung held the tears in, fighting them back until his eyes burned so much it became hard to see. He held back his frustration, pain, and anguish. For three days he replayed every word, look, and movement from his last encounter with Hyunseung. His heart screamed in anguish at not being able to reach out and touch Hyunseung, to tell him the truth. For three days he kept the truth to himself, unsure of whether or not he was ready to admit to it.
~*~
Junhyung walked out of the bathroom and stopped just before he reached the entrance to the kitchen, his curiosity piqued by the conversation ensuing.
“You have to eat something Hyung.”
“Seung, you’ve hardly eaten in the past couple of days. Please sit down and eat something.”
“Please eat something Hyunnie. We’re leaving tomorrow for the tour and you need your strength. Please eat.”
“You’re going to get sick again if you don’t eat.”
Junhyung shook his head. He rounded the corner to enter the kitchen, but ended up colliding with Hyunseung, his hands reaching out on instinct to grab onto the dancer’s arms.
Everyone went silent as the two of them looked at each other.
Junhyung watched as Hyunseung’s eyes showed emotion for the first time in days. He watched as those doe eyes showed shock, pain, and pleasure all seemingly at once. His fingers burned as they touched Hyunseung’s skin, as they felt the latter tense and freeze beneath them. He licked his own lips as he watched Hyunseung’s part in shock. He had to fight back every urge telling him to pull Hyunseung into his arms, to kiss him and touch him and love him.
“Let go.” Hyunseung’s voice sounded distant and tired.
Junhyung clenched his jaw, once again fighting back the tears. He dropped his hands to his side, clenching them into fists as he closed his eyes. He felt Hyunseung step pass him, heard him walk quickly down the hall and close the bedroom door. He felt his heart break.
He opened his eyes and was met with sympathetic gazes. He heard Hyunseung sob and then sob again and he finally broke. He let out a frustrated yell as the tears spilled from his eyes. He screamed as he grabbed the chair in front of him and threw it against the kitchen wall.
Junhyung ignored the calls of his name as he ran from the dorm and into the elevator, Doojoon right behind him. As soon as the doors closed Doojoon pressed the emergency stop button.
He turned to Junhyung, the latter crying as he leaned against the wall.
“Jun…”
“What do I do Doojoon?” Junhyung locked desperate, glossy eyes with his best friend. “Tell me what to do.”
“What are you ta…”
“I love him!” Junhyung let out sob as he slid to the ground. He looked up at Doojoon. “I love him and I’ve ruined everything.” He lowered his head as he let the sobs free.
Doojoon stood still for a moment, watching as his best friend cried in pain and anguish, unsure of what to say. He sat down next to Junhyung and placed a comforting hand on the rappers shoulder.
“I love him, I think I always have. But I’m a coward! I got scared and ran!” He wiped at his eyes. “I gave in to all my fears and insecurities and gave up.” He took a shaky breath. “Over the past several months my love for him has grown more than I thought it could and I wanted to act on it and not care who saw.” He pulled one of his knees up to his chest and placed an arm across it. “Everything that has happened between us on stage and in front of cameras wasn’t fanserivce, it was all real. He’s the one I want to touch and hold first when we win. He’s the one I want to share secret smiles and caresses with. He’s the one I want to sing ‘I love you’ too. And I did all of that in front of people because I wanted too, because I felt like I could.” He closed his eyes, tears sliding down his cheeks.
“But then people starting noticing, you guys, our friends, fans, management, everyone. I got scared and panicked. I started to pull back and ignore him,” he let out a sob, “but it was so hard.
So I thought if I started something with someone else it would make things easier, but it didn’t. And then Hara and I were spotted and, well…” He trailed off, not needing to say what they both already knew.
“It’s not fair. Why can’t we love each other without their being any complications?” Junhyung let out another sob as he punched the floor. “Why does the world have to be like it is? Why do we have to be judged and criticized for who we are and for who we love?” He looked at Doojoon. “Why can’t it be easy?”
“Life is never easy, neither is love.” Doojoon caressed the back of Junhyung’s neck. “But they are both worth fighting for, especially love. The love that you and Hyunseung have is special. It’s strong and pure and true. It’s real.”
“He won’t even look at me.”
“That’s because he’s confused. You did what you did, but then you act how you’re acting. He doesn’t understand and it’s hurting him more. I, and the others, know that you love him and want him. You know that you love and want him and now it’s up to you to do something about it.” Doojoon wiped at Junhyung’s tears. “And yes, you will have to keep it a secret. You’ll have to be careful and strong enough to hold yourself back at times. But it will be worth the hardship, because the two of you will be together.”
“What about Hara?” Junhyung pulled both his knees up to his chest. “Doojoon, I lied to her. I used her.”
Doojoon nodded his head. “That’s true. She’s going to be hurt and upset, but you have to tell her, not only because you’re ready to be with Seung, but because it’s the right thing to do.” He wiped at more of Junhyung’s tears. “You and Hara have been good friends for a long time, it may take her a while, but she’ll forgive.”
Junhyung rested his chin on his knees. “What about the press? The fans?”
Doojoon ruffled Junhyung’s hair. “The fans will understand and I’m guessing that Jesters will be ecstatic. As for the press,” he grinned, “that’s what management is for. They’ll take care of it.”
Junhyung was quiet for a moment. He turned his head so he was looking at Doojoon, his cheek resting on his knees. “What about Hyunseung? How am I going to get him to listen to me?”
“That’s a good question. After what just happened, he’s going to take extra care to avoid you. And if you do get him alone he’s going to fight you.”
“You’re not helping.”
Doojoon laughed. “I know.” He wiped the last few remaining tears off Junhyung’s cheek. “You’re going to have to get him alone at a time you can’t be interrupted and he can’t run away from you.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “It sounds like we’re conspiring to do something bad.”
Junhyung let out a small laugh. Doojoon smiled.
“It will have to be soon though Jun. Fans are bound to notice that the two of you aren’t doing well.”
“Will you help me? When the time is right, will you help me?”
Doojoon grinned. “You know I will.”
Junhyung turned his head forward and smile. He was going to fix this. He had to.
~*~
“I know.”
Junhyung’s head snapped up. “You what?”
Hara gave a soft smile as she sat down next to Junhyung. “I said I know. I have known.” She let out a small laugh at the look of confusion on Junhyung’s face. “Only an idiot would be blind enough not to notice the feelings you and Hyunseung-Oppa have for each other, especially those of us who are close to you.”
Junhyung was confused, grateful, but confused. “But why…”
“Why did I say yes to ‘dating’ you?”
Junhyung nodded his head.
“Because I could tell that you really wanted me to, that you needed help. And that’s what friends do for one another, the help each other out when and however they can.” Hara smiled.
“Besides, I owed you. You helped me through one of the toughest months of my life.”
“Hara, you risked a lot by saying yes.”
“I know, but it’s not like we expected to get caught on a date. And the backlash from our relationship being outed wasn’t all that bad. It really could have been worse.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I am. Now, have you talked to management yet?”
Junhyung sighed as he gave a disgruntled look. “Yeah.”
Hara nudged his arm. “And?”
“They were pissed, which I expected, what I’ve done is really stupid.”
“But…”
Junhyung rubbed the back of his neck. “They said that we need to keep acting like we’re dating. They said that if we were to say that we broke it off now, after only a few days, that everyone would think it was some sort of publicity stunt. They’re going to request that the topic be kept out of interviews we do. They aren’t going to make us take any pictures and show them off or anything like that; we don’t have to flaunt it. We just have to let everyone think that we really are dating.” He looked at Hara. “I’m so sorry Hara.”
Hara placed a hand on Junhyung’s shoulder. “It’s okay. I told you that I was going to help, that I want to help you and that’s what I’m going to do.”
Junhyung pulled her into a hug, kissing her temple. “You’re amazing you know that.”
“I know.”
~*~
“The press conference starts in twenty guys.” Joonkun announced to the Beast members. “I have to go double check on some things. I’ll be back in fifteen.” He looked the boys over. “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”
There was a chorus of acknowledgement from the Beast members as their manager walked out of the waiting room, leaving the six of them alone.
Junhyung watched Hyunseung out of the corner of his eye; the latter was messing with his phone, ignoring everyone. He examined Hyunseung’s eyes. The stylist’s had done what they could to cover up the dancer’s eye bags, eye bags caused from not sleeping and endless crying.
It was getting harder for Junhyung to wait, to wait to talk to Hyunseung, to tell him that he loved him. It was getting harder to watch as Hyunseung shut everyone out, to listen as he cried, and to keep being ignored. It was getting harder to keep his own tears back, to keep his mouth shut and his hands off of Hyunseung.
Just as he was about to look away, Hyunseung looked up, his gaze meeting with Junhyung’s. Junhyung watched as Hyunseung stood up, the dancer’s eyes glossing over, and exited the room, mumbling about having to go to the bathroom.
Junhyung couldn’t wait any longer. He waited for a moment, until a stylist came in and distracted Doojoon. He stood up quietly and quickly exited the room. As he entered the bathroom, Hyunseung was exiting one of the stalls, tissue dabbing at his eyes.
Hyunseung took one look at Junhyung and began backing up towards the wall.
“Get the hell out.”
Junhyung clenched his fists. “Seung, it’s a public bathroom.”
“I don’t fucking care. Get out.”
Junhyung winced at the anger in Hyunseung’s eyes and the venom in his voice. He gathered his resolve and took a few steps towards the older male. “Not until you listen to me.”
Hyunseung shook his head, his back hitting the wall. “There’s nothing for you to say. None of it was real so there can’t be anything to SAY.” He yelled his last word as Junhyung lunged at him, the rapper placing a hand on either side of Hyunseung’s face.
“Stop saying that!” Junhyung took a deep breath. “Please stop saying that.”
Hyunseung closed his eyes as new tears began to fall. “Why would I stop saying something that’s true? It wasn’t real.”
“Dammit Hyunseung!” Junhyung slammed his hands on the wall, causing the man against it to jump. “I said stop saying that!”
Hyunseung’s eyes shot open, all the pain and anger he was feeling reflecting in his tear filled eyes. “Why? Why should I stop saying it?” He was yelling, tears falling from his cheek and down his neck. “Why?!”
Junhyung swallowed as he tried his hardest to keep his tears back and his emotions under control. He couldn’t think of what to say, how to phrase what he so desperately needed to say.
Hyunseung shook his head. “I hate you.” It was whispered.
Junhyung’s eyes went wide. “What?”
Hyunseung clenched his jaw. “I said I hate you.” He shoved at Junhyung’s chest, a sob escaping his lips. “Now leave me alone!”
Just then the bathroom door burst open, a frantic looking Beast and Joonkun entering the bathroom.
Kikwang took several steps forward. “What the hell is going on?”
Doojoon beckoned to Junhyung. “Jun let him go.”
Hyunseung didn’t wait for Junhyung to move; instead he shoved him aside and walked into Kikwang’s arms, the latter escorting the crying dancer out of the bathroom.
“Shit.” Joonkun ran a hand through his hair. “Doojoon, you handle Junhyung. The rest of you come with me.”
Doojoon waited for the others to leave before shoving Junhyung against the wall, the latter closing his eyes. “Are you fucking insane? I told you to wait until the time was right! Not to corner him in a bathroom where everyone can hear him and you yelling!”
“It’s getting harder to wait.” Junhyung opened his eyes, tears beginning to slowly fall from them. “It fucking hurts to have him be so close and not be able to talk to him or touch him.” He let out a sob. “It fucking hurts!”
Doojoon’s eyes softened. He pulled Junhyung into a hug, the younger male crying into his neck. “I know Jun, I know.”
Junhyung let out a sob as he gripped at Doojoon’s back. “How much longer do I have to wait?”
“Until tonight, wait until tonight. Seung and I are in the same room.” He took a shuddered breath as he tried to hold back his own tears as his best friend sobbed in his arms. “I’ll make sure that you can talk to him tonight. I promise.”
~*~
Doojoon ran a hand through his hair as he thought about the press conference and the concert. Everything had gone well, at least for the most part. As soon as they had stepped out in front of the cameras for the conference, Doojoon had noticed the curious and concerned looks from fans and the fingers pointed at Hyunseung and Junhyung. The stylists had done the best they could with make-up, but it just wasn’t enough.
Several times during the conference he heard Hyunseung sniffling, it being obvious that the dancer was trying to hold back his tears. The sniffling and the fighting back tears happened during the concert as well; at least until they were sitting down talking and Hyunseung’s tears began to fall, Junhyung’s tears falling at the end of the concert. As soon as the concert was over Junhyung and Hyunseung both shut down, neither saying anything, not even when they got back to the hotel.
Doojoon had texted the other members to inform them of what was going to happen shortly, him letting Junhyung into his and Hyunseung’s room and leaving them their alone to work things out. They all agreed that it was the best thing to do, that it was what needed to be done.
He sighed just as Hyunseung walked out of the bathroom, the latter in boxers and a black wife-beater. Hyunseung gave Doojoon a quick glance before climbing into bed.
It was time.
Doojoon stood up. “I’m going to go make sure that everyone is settled for the night. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He received some sort of muffled sound as acknowledgement before walking out the door.
He knocked on the door to the room across from his, the door opening and him being greeted with the other four members.
“He’s in bed.” Doojoon walked up to Junhyung and gave him the room key. “He’s going to think it’s me coming in.”
Junhyung nodded. “I know.”
“Remember to be, you know, patient.”
“I know.”
“Don’t forget to, you know, speak from your heart.”
Junhyung gave a small laugh. “Doojoon, I know.” He began heading for the door.
“Good luck.” Yoseob bit his lip as he gave Junhyung thumbs up.
“Thanks.”
“You two are meant to be together, Seung-hyung knows that.” Dongwoon gave him a reassuring smile.
“I know Woonie.”
“Don’t force him.” Kikwang gave Junhyung a pointed look. “I mean it. If I hear any screaming I’ll come over there and kick you’re a-mph.” He was cut off by Dongwoon’s hand.
Doojoon glared at Kikwang before turning to look at Junhyung. “It’ll be fine, I promise.”
Junhyung nodded his head and left the room. He walked across the hall, took a deep breath before unlocking the door and entering Hyunseung’s room. The room was dark except for the lamp next to the bed that Hyunseung was laying on, his back to Junhyung.
Junhyung walked over to the bed, crawled in, and climbed underneath the covers. Hyunseung didn’t turn around.
“I’m fine Doojoon.” His voice was quiet and weak.
Junhyung placed a hand on Hyunseung’s upper arm.
Hyunseung sighed and began to turn over. “I said I’m fi…” He stopped, his eyes growing wide at the sight of Junhyung.
Hyunseung began to climb out of the bed, but Junhyung wasn’t going to let him leave.
Junhyung grabbed onto Hyunseung’s arm, pulled him onto his back, and then straddled him. He stopped a fist to his face and grabbed both of Hyunseung’s hands, pinning them above the dancers head.
“Stop Seung.”
Hyunseung tried freeing his hands. “Get off!”
Junhyung tightened his grip. “No! Now stop.”
Hyunseung let out a sob. “Fuck you Junhyung!” He bucked his hips up in an attempt to get Junhyung off. “Get off!”
Junhyung squeezed his legs tighter. “No Seung. Please just stop and listen to me.”
Hyunseung began to fully cry. “No! I told you there’s nothing to say. It wasn’t real!”
“Stop saying that!” Junhyung’s voice cracked as his own tears began to fall. “Please Seung, please don’t say that.”
Hyunseung let out a sob. “Why are you crying?”
“Because.” Junhyung let out his own sob. “Because I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Seung.” He let out another sob. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I caused you pain.” Another sob. “I’m sorry I was such a coward and that I ran away. I’m sorry that I did what I did.” He let out another sob as he loosened his grip on Hyunseung’s hands. “I’m sorry that I lied.”
Hyunseung was still crying. “What do you mean you lied?”
“I lied to you about Hara. The only feelings I have for her are in the form of friendship.” He shook his head as he let out another sob, tears falling from his cheeks onto Hyunseung’s chest. “I asked her out because I got scared.”
“Scared of what?”
He locked gazes with Hyunseung, both their eyes glossy and full of tears. “I was scared of what was going on between us. Scared of what I was feeling, of how deep I was falling. I was scared of what everyone was seeing.” He let out another sob. “But I’m not scared of any of those things anymore. The only thing I’m afraid of now is losing you.”
Hyunseung closed his eyes as he let out a sob.
Junhyung bent down and rested his head against Hyunseung’s. “I’m afraid of not being able to be with you. I’m afraid of not being able to talk to you, to hold you, to touch you, to kiss you.”
He intertwined his fingers with Hyunseung’s, the latter squeezing their fingers together. “I’m afraid of not being able to love you.”
Hyunseung let out another sob, his eyes squeezing shut as tears flowed from them.
Junhyung rubbed his forehead against Hyunseung’s. “I love you Hyunseung. I love you so much that it hurts.” He let out a cry. “I love you and only you. I want you and only you.”
Hyunseung opened his eyes, another sob filling the room. “I love you too.”
Junhyung let out a cry before crashing their lips together in a kiss that was full of love and love only. Their lips matched move for move, their tears combining, cheek to cheek, lip to lip. Their hands moved to each other’s hair, neck, faces.
“I love you Junhyung. I love you. I love you. I love you.” Hyunseung breathed out against Junhyung’s lips.
Junhyung caressed Hyunseung’s cheek, his thumb wiping away tears. “And I love you.”
Hyunseung ran his fingers down the side of Junhyung’s face, the tips of them becoming wet with tears. “Love me. Now.” He smiled. “Show me.”
Junhyung smiled as their lips met again, this time more passionate. He would show Hyunseung how much he loved him. Always.
~*~
The fans screamed and cheered as Beast sang, danced, smiled, and laughed. Hyunseung and Junhyung looked over at one another, their eyes glowing, and smiled, that smile that only they knew the meaning behind. Because to the world, to the fans, Junhyung and Hyunseung’s story was one of fiction. A story that could be written and read. A story that could be changed and manipulated. But to them, to Junhyung and Hyunseung, their story was real. Their love was real and strong and unchanging and nothing would ever change that.