Their Story Part 1
Title: Fiction
Author: singoutloud25
Pairing: Hyunseung, broken!JunSeung, mentions of JunRa
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "It was all a story, a story devoid of any real emotions or feelings."
Genre: Angst
Author's Notes: I'm not sure how I feel about this one...part 2 will be up in the next day or two, I promise.
Fiction
None of the other Beast members were prepared for it; they honestly hadn’t seen it coming. They didn’t know that He had felt that way, that He was that serious about someone…else, let alone that He had been talking to her. None of them really understood what was happening; they didn’t really even believe it at first.
“I said I’m dating Goo Hara.” Junhyung stood in front of the other members, his back to the mirrors in the dance studio they were currently practicing in.
Doojoon looked confused. “Since when?”
“A little over a week ago.”
“How? I mean…” Yoseob looked really confused. “What?”
Junhyung rolled his eyes. “What do you mean what? Hara and I have been friends for a long time and over the past couple of months it progressed into something more, something more than friendship.”
“You’re serious.”
“Yes Doojoon, I’m serious.”
“So do you, you know, love each other or something?”
Junhyung turned his gaze to their Maknae. “I’m not sure.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I just know that what I feel for her is a lot stronger than friendship.”
Doojoon was becoming irritated. “So how come we’re just hearing about this now? How come you’ve never mentioned anything about her before?”
“Because I knew you would ask a million fucking questions.”
“Well excuse me for being curious as to the fact that one of my best friends is basically in love with another idol and has been dating that person for over a week and never mentioned it before!”
“Um,” Kikwang interrupted the two, “but why are you telling us out of the blue and why are you being so defensive about it?”
Junhyung ignored the last part of that question and sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “The reason I’m telling you now is because someone took pictures of Hara and I on a date a couple of days ago. They threatened CUBE that they would release the pictures if a formal announcement wasn’t made. So, tomorrow morning CUBE and DSP are going to announce our relationship to the media.”
Doojoon blinked. “This can’t fucking be happening.” He ran a hand through his sweaty hair. “Especially now! We just got over the Yoseob having a girlfriend disaster.”
“I know Doojoon, and I’m sorry, I really am. And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about us. I don’t know why I didn’t, I just…”
“So if it weren’t for those pictures you would have continued keeping it a secret from us?”
Everyone turned to look at Hyunseung, his facial features tense, his fingers digging into the floor beneath him.
“I would have told you eventually.” Junhyung ignored the scoff from Hyunseung. “But that doesn’t matter right now.” He rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. “I don’t know how B2uties are going to respond, but I do know that it’s going to be hard for a while and,” he sighed, “I’m going to need you to support me.” He looked at all of them, his gaze landing on Hyunseung. “All of you.”
Hyunseung’s eyes glossed over as he pounded his fist onto the ground. He stood up, the tears falling as he turned his back on the others. He shoved the hands off of his arms and stormed out of the practice room, the tears falling heavily as the door closed behind him.
~*~
Hyunseung slid down the shower wall, his body wracking with sobs, his tears mingling with hot water. He pulled his knees to his chest, his arms wrapping around his legs.
Somewhere, deep down inside of him, he had known that this would happen. He knew who Junhyung was, how he felt, how he saw things, people, relationships. He knew how Junhyung always worried about how society and the entertainment industry saw him, what they thought of him. He knew that Junhyung was afraid of being shunned, of being looked down upon. And that was why they had kept things subtle, kept things secret.
Deep down Hyunseung knew that loving Junhyung would only end in heartbreak, his heart being the one that would suffer. And he had tried so hard to keep his heart out of it, to keep his feelings to that of only desire and fulfillment and for a long time it had worked. Until one day, when they were lost in a moment of stolen pleasure, Junhyung had let three small words slip from his mouth into Hyunseung’s neck, sending the latter into a spiral of emotions and pleasure he had never felt before.
Junhyung never acknowledged that he had said the words, nor did Hyunseung, at least not out loud. From that day on Hyunseung’s heart took control of his emotions and feelings. It demanded that Hyunseung realize how he felt and that he no longer deny or try to hide what had happened to him. Hyunseung’s heart demanded that he accept the fact that he was in love. And Hyunseung did accept it, but he never vocalized it or let it show, until management stepped in and stated that it was time to bring JunSeung back.
Hyunseung’s mind panicked, it wanted to run away and deny anything JunSeung related, but that wasn’t going to happen, because his rejoicing heart was calling the shots now and it had some ideas of its own. And so the public hugging began, the secret looks and smiles became not so secret, the random touching and admiring became more frequent. Soon Hyunseung’s whole being was relishing in every moment of it. His admiring smiles and stares were happening more and more and without him noticing it, they were just his natural responses to the man he loved.
And Junhyung reciprocated every one, he himself initiating several JunSeung moments or adding more to what Hyunseung initiated. And when there were no cameras and it was just the two of them, the moments didn’t stop, instead they became more passionate, more frequent. The other members began noticing, their comments that of congratulations and acceptance and even then Junhyung didn’t show any signs of un-want or un-comfortableness, at least not until a couple of weeks ago.
Junhyung had begun to pull away, to hide, and to show awkwardness. When they weren’t fulfilling schedules he was either at the recording studio or out with friends where he would ignore phone calls and text messages from Hyunseung. He wouldn’t come home till late and when he would crawl into bed, if he didn’t decide to sleep on the couch, he would give Hyunseung a simple nod of acknowledgement before lying on his back and going to sleep.
Hyunseung let out a yell of pain and frustration as he hit the shower wall. He should have seen it coming. He should have fought harder to keep his heart out of it. He shouldn’t have been so blind, so stupid.
~*~
“But I still don’t get it.” Yoseob threw his phone onto his bed in frustration.
Doojoon ruffled the vocalist’s hair. “I don’t either Seob.”
“I thought they were, like, finally together.”
“So did I Hyung.” Dongwoon sat cross-legged next to Doojoon on the leaders’ bed, his elbow resting on his knee and his chin in his palm. “They were really acting like it.”
Doojoon patted the Maknae’s back. “I know.”
“I thought that they were in love.” Kikwang chewed his bottom lip. “They were in love right? I mean, you don’t look at someone the way those two look at each other and not be in love.”
“Hyunseung is still in love with Junhyung. Did you see how hurt he was when Jun told us the news?” Dongwoon pulled his legs up to his chest. “I swear you could see his heart breaking in the reflection of his eyes.”
“You should have heard him crying in the shower that night.” Yoseob placed his head on Kikwang’s shoulder. “I cried just listening to him.”
“He hasn’t said a word since then.”
Doojoon sighed. “No he hasn’t.”
Yoseob kicked their leader in the leg. “You’re not being helpful with your crappy responses.”
“Well, I don’t know what you want me to say.” Doojoon rubbed his hands over his face. “I’m still trying to figure this whole thing out. Jun isn’t saying much either and hasn’t slept in the room since we got back, I mean, he hasn’t even said a word about Hara and how things are going. And Seung,” he pulled at his hair, “…Seung is so emotional that I wouldn’t even know what to say to him.”
Dongwoon squeezed Doojoon’s shoulder. “None of us know what to say to him.”
“None of you have to say anything.”
All four heads whipped around to the door of their shared bedroom, their eyes going wide at the sight of Hyunseung, the dancer’s eyes red and puffy.
“Seung we…”
“It’s okay Doojoon.” Hyunseung cut Doojoon off as he walked towards the bunk beds. “You really don’t have to say anything. And I’m sorry for making you worry.” He climbed up to Yoseob’s bunk and sat down next to Kikwang.
Yoseob licked his lips nervously. “Hyunnie…”
“It hurts.” Hyunseung looked down at his hands, a few tears falling from his cheeks onto them. “I tried so hard not to fall in love with him.” He sniffled as more tears fell. “I knew I would end up hurt.” He looked up at the others, the tears flowing freely. “I still love him and it hurts and I don’t know what to do.” He broke down, his cries turning into sobs.
Kikwang pulled Hyunseung into his arms and kissed his temple, the latter’s face buried in his neck. Yoseob wrapped his arms around Hyunseung as well and kissed the dancers shoulder blade. Dongwoon crawled over and wrapped his arms around Hyunseung’s waist before kissing the back of his Hyung’s head.
Doojoon was about to join in on the hug before something out of the corner of his eye stopped him. He turned his gaze to the bedroom door and locked eyes with Junhyung. Their locked gaze held for a moment, Junhyung’s eyes burning with pain, anger, and sadness.
“Why? Why does it have to hurt so much?” Hyunseung sobbed into Kikwang’s neck, the latter shaking his head as his own tears fell.
Doojoon shook his head before breaking his gaze with Junhyung. He wrapped his arms around the other four, watching out of the corner of his eye as Junhyung turned and left, the front door closing a few seconds later.
~*~
Hyunseung jerked awake, his eyes blinking several times until they adjusted to the mostly dark room, a small ray of light drifted in through the open bedroom door. He took in the position of himself and the bodies around him.
He was lying on his back between Kikwang and Doojoon. Kikwang’s arm was resting on his chest and Doojoon had one of his arms wrapped around Hyunseung’s stomach. Dongwoon was snuggled up next to Doojoon’s back, one of his long legs draped across the leader’s thigh and resting atop Hyunseung’s and Yoseob was snuggled up to Kikwang’s back, one of the vocalist’s arms was swung across Kikwang’s stomach with his hand holding Hyunseung’s.
Hyunseung closed his eyes and thought back to earlier. He had cried in his members’ arms, sobbing out “whys” and “it hurts”, until he was weak and exhausted. Doojoon had pulled him down into a laying position, the other three following suit. He had fallen asleep to soothing voices, comforting words, and gentle hands.
Hyunseung wanted to cry again. Not just because of Junhyung, but also because of the pain he was causing his other members. He squeezed his eyes, fighting back the tears, as he bit his lip and carefully removed the limbs from his body. He was halfway down the bunk when Doojoon’s hand landed on his.
“Where are you going?”
Hyunseung did his best to give a reassuring smile. “To the bathroom.”
Doojoon hesitated for a moment before nodding and removing his hand.
Hyunseung exited the room and walked down to the end of the hallway. He rounded the corner and froze as his eyes locked with Junhyung’s.
They stood there for several moments, neither moving nor breaking the gaze.
Hyunseung was sure he had stopped breathing and what felt like the remains of his heart stopping. He stared into those eyes, those eyes that he cherished, that he wanted to get lost in, those eyes that he loved. His throat began to ache from the need to release his sobs and his eyes burned unshed tears. All Hyunseung wanted to do was run into Junhyung’s arms, to hold him and kiss him and love him, but he couldn’t. Junhyung wasn’t his, he never was.
Hyunseung broke eye contact and before he knew what was happening he was shoved up against the wall, tears falling and a sob escaping as the back of his head hit the wall. His hands were pinned above his head and a leg shoved between his. He could smell the alcohol as Junhyung placed his head in the crook of Hyunseung’s neck.
“Seung.” His breath was hot and moist.
“Let me go Junhyung.” Hyunseung twisted his hands. “Now.”
“I can’t.” Junhyung’s lips moved against Hyunseung’s neck.
“Please Jun, let me go.”
Junhyung shook his head as he nipped at Hyunseung’s collarbone.
Hyunseung did his best to keep his sobs back. “Stop it. This can’t happen. Not now, not ever.”
Junhyung placed wet kisses up Hyunseung’s neck. “Why?”
“Because you have Her now.”
Junhyung rested his forehead against Hyunseung’s, the latter closing his eyes. “That doesn’t…”
“And besides, there was nothing real between us anyway.”
Hyunseung winced as Junhyung pressed their foreheads painfully closer together. “Nothing real?” It was said between clenched teeth.
Hyunseung took a deep breath, willing the tears to stop for just a moment, willing himself enough courage to get out these next few sentences so this painful moment could be over.
“It was never real, any of it. It was just two people needing to find an outlet to release the stress of their lives, nothing more.” He winced again as Junhyung’s grip on his wrists tightened. He had to finish this, to get this last part out. For his own peace of mind he had to say it, he needed to convince himself that it really was nothing.
He opened his eyes, hiding how startled he was at the look of anger in Junhyung’s eyes. “It was all a story, a story devoid of any real emotions or feelings. It was a story of lust and desire and that’s all.”
“A story?” Junhyung’s voice came out strangled. “A fucking story?” His eyes bore into Hyunseung’s, his anger and frustration rising. “Nothing real, just lust and desire?”
Hyunseung was angry and confused by Junhyung’s responses. Why wasn’t Junhyung letting him go, didn’t he want them to be apart? “Yes.” He used his legs to push his back off the wall and into Junhyung. “And what do you fucking care anyway? You’re the one who stopped!” He let out a sob, the wide range of emotions he was feeling taking their toll on him. “You’re the one who walked away and ended it.” He pushed back against Junhyung’s head, his tears falling harder and faster than they had in days. “You went out and got what you wanted and now you don’t have to worry anymore.” Hyunseung let out another sob.
Junhyung growled as he shoved Hyunseung, hard, back into the wall, the dancer letting out a cry of pain.
“Junhyung! that’s enough!” Doojoon grabbed Junhyung’s arm. “Let him go now.”
Junhyung continued to glare at Hyunseung.
“Now, Junhyung.”
Junhyung released his grip on Hyunseung’s wrists. Doojoon pulled the rapper far enough away from Hyunseung so that the dancer could retreat, sobs echoing throughout the hall, back into the bedroom.
Doojoon forced Junhyung to look at him. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Junhyung glared. “What are you talking about?”
“You know damn well what I’m talking about. You can’t have them both. You can’t have both worlds.”
Junhyung turned to stare down the hall.
Doojoon sighed. “You have to let him go. You made your choice. You’re safe from ridicule now, so leave him alone.” He took a few steps in the hallway before Junhyung’s voice stopped him.
“Do you think he meant what he said? About it not being real?
Doojoon didn’t turn around. “If it had been real, you wouldn’t have chosen the world that you did.” He continued on his way, not seeing the tears falling down Junhyung’s cheeks.
Author: singoutloud25
Pairing: Hyunseung, broken!JunSeung, mentions of JunRa
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "It was all a story, a story devoid of any real emotions or feelings."
Genre: Angst
Author's Notes: I'm not sure how I feel about this one...part 2 will be up in the next day or two, I promise.
Fiction
None of the other Beast members were prepared for it; they honestly hadn’t seen it coming. They didn’t know that He had felt that way, that He was that serious about someone…else, let alone that He had been talking to her. None of them really understood what was happening; they didn’t really even believe it at first.
“I said I’m dating Goo Hara.” Junhyung stood in front of the other members, his back to the mirrors in the dance studio they were currently practicing in.
Doojoon looked confused. “Since when?”
“A little over a week ago.”
“How? I mean…” Yoseob looked really confused. “What?”
Junhyung rolled his eyes. “What do you mean what? Hara and I have been friends for a long time and over the past couple of months it progressed into something more, something more than friendship.”
“You’re serious.”
“Yes Doojoon, I’m serious.”
“So do you, you know, love each other or something?”
Junhyung turned his gaze to their Maknae. “I’m not sure.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I just know that what I feel for her is a lot stronger than friendship.”
Doojoon was becoming irritated. “So how come we’re just hearing about this now? How come you’ve never mentioned anything about her before?”
“Because I knew you would ask a million fucking questions.”
“Well excuse me for being curious as to the fact that one of my best friends is basically in love with another idol and has been dating that person for over a week and never mentioned it before!”
“Um,” Kikwang interrupted the two, “but why are you telling us out of the blue and why are you being so defensive about it?”
Junhyung ignored the last part of that question and sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “The reason I’m telling you now is because someone took pictures of Hara and I on a date a couple of days ago. They threatened CUBE that they would release the pictures if a formal announcement wasn’t made. So, tomorrow morning CUBE and DSP are going to announce our relationship to the media.”
Doojoon blinked. “This can’t fucking be happening.” He ran a hand through his sweaty hair. “Especially now! We just got over the Yoseob having a girlfriend disaster.”
“I know Doojoon, and I’m sorry, I really am. And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about us. I don’t know why I didn’t, I just…”
“So if it weren’t for those pictures you would have continued keeping it a secret from us?”
Everyone turned to look at Hyunseung, his facial features tense, his fingers digging into the floor beneath him.
“I would have told you eventually.” Junhyung ignored the scoff from Hyunseung. “But that doesn’t matter right now.” He rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. “I don’t know how B2uties are going to respond, but I do know that it’s going to be hard for a while and,” he sighed, “I’m going to need you to support me.” He looked at all of them, his gaze landing on Hyunseung. “All of you.”
Hyunseung’s eyes glossed over as he pounded his fist onto the ground. He stood up, the tears falling as he turned his back on the others. He shoved the hands off of his arms and stormed out of the practice room, the tears falling heavily as the door closed behind him.
~*~
Hyunseung slid down the shower wall, his body wracking with sobs, his tears mingling with hot water. He pulled his knees to his chest, his arms wrapping around his legs.
Somewhere, deep down inside of him, he had known that this would happen. He knew who Junhyung was, how he felt, how he saw things, people, relationships. He knew how Junhyung always worried about how society and the entertainment industry saw him, what they thought of him. He knew that Junhyung was afraid of being shunned, of being looked down upon. And that was why they had kept things subtle, kept things secret.
Deep down Hyunseung knew that loving Junhyung would only end in heartbreak, his heart being the one that would suffer. And he had tried so hard to keep his heart out of it, to keep his feelings to that of only desire and fulfillment and for a long time it had worked. Until one day, when they were lost in a moment of stolen pleasure, Junhyung had let three small words slip from his mouth into Hyunseung’s neck, sending the latter into a spiral of emotions and pleasure he had never felt before.
Junhyung never acknowledged that he had said the words, nor did Hyunseung, at least not out loud. From that day on Hyunseung’s heart took control of his emotions and feelings. It demanded that Hyunseung realize how he felt and that he no longer deny or try to hide what had happened to him. Hyunseung’s heart demanded that he accept the fact that he was in love. And Hyunseung did accept it, but he never vocalized it or let it show, until management stepped in and stated that it was time to bring JunSeung back.
Hyunseung’s mind panicked, it wanted to run away and deny anything JunSeung related, but that wasn’t going to happen, because his rejoicing heart was calling the shots now and it had some ideas of its own. And so the public hugging began, the secret looks and smiles became not so secret, the random touching and admiring became more frequent. Soon Hyunseung’s whole being was relishing in every moment of it. His admiring smiles and stares were happening more and more and without him noticing it, they were just his natural responses to the man he loved.
And Junhyung reciprocated every one, he himself initiating several JunSeung moments or adding more to what Hyunseung initiated. And when there were no cameras and it was just the two of them, the moments didn’t stop, instead they became more passionate, more frequent. The other members began noticing, their comments that of congratulations and acceptance and even then Junhyung didn’t show any signs of un-want or un-comfortableness, at least not until a couple of weeks ago.
Junhyung had begun to pull away, to hide, and to show awkwardness. When they weren’t fulfilling schedules he was either at the recording studio or out with friends where he would ignore phone calls and text messages from Hyunseung. He wouldn’t come home till late and when he would crawl into bed, if he didn’t decide to sleep on the couch, he would give Hyunseung a simple nod of acknowledgement before lying on his back and going to sleep.
Hyunseung let out a yell of pain and frustration as he hit the shower wall. He should have seen it coming. He should have fought harder to keep his heart out of it. He shouldn’t have been so blind, so stupid.
~*~
“But I still don’t get it.” Yoseob threw his phone onto his bed in frustration.
Doojoon ruffled the vocalist’s hair. “I don’t either Seob.”
“I thought they were, like, finally together.”
“So did I Hyung.” Dongwoon sat cross-legged next to Doojoon on the leaders’ bed, his elbow resting on his knee and his chin in his palm. “They were really acting like it.”
Doojoon patted the Maknae’s back. “I know.”
“I thought that they were in love.” Kikwang chewed his bottom lip. “They were in love right? I mean, you don’t look at someone the way those two look at each other and not be in love.”
“Hyunseung is still in love with Junhyung. Did you see how hurt he was when Jun told us the news?” Dongwoon pulled his legs up to his chest. “I swear you could see his heart breaking in the reflection of his eyes.”
“You should have heard him crying in the shower that night.” Yoseob placed his head on Kikwang’s shoulder. “I cried just listening to him.”
“He hasn’t said a word since then.”
Doojoon sighed. “No he hasn’t.”
Yoseob kicked their leader in the leg. “You’re not being helpful with your crappy responses.”
“Well, I don’t know what you want me to say.” Doojoon rubbed his hands over his face. “I’m still trying to figure this whole thing out. Jun isn’t saying much either and hasn’t slept in the room since we got back, I mean, he hasn’t even said a word about Hara and how things are going. And Seung,” he pulled at his hair, “…Seung is so emotional that I wouldn’t even know what to say to him.”
Dongwoon squeezed Doojoon’s shoulder. “None of us know what to say to him.”
“None of you have to say anything.”
All four heads whipped around to the door of their shared bedroom, their eyes going wide at the sight of Hyunseung, the dancer’s eyes red and puffy.
“Seung we…”
“It’s okay Doojoon.” Hyunseung cut Doojoon off as he walked towards the bunk beds. “You really don’t have to say anything. And I’m sorry for making you worry.” He climbed up to Yoseob’s bunk and sat down next to Kikwang.
Yoseob licked his lips nervously. “Hyunnie…”
“It hurts.” Hyunseung looked down at his hands, a few tears falling from his cheeks onto them. “I tried so hard not to fall in love with him.” He sniffled as more tears fell. “I knew I would end up hurt.” He looked up at the others, the tears flowing freely. “I still love him and it hurts and I don’t know what to do.” He broke down, his cries turning into sobs.
Kikwang pulled Hyunseung into his arms and kissed his temple, the latter’s face buried in his neck. Yoseob wrapped his arms around Hyunseung as well and kissed the dancers shoulder blade. Dongwoon crawled over and wrapped his arms around Hyunseung’s waist before kissing the back of his Hyung’s head.
Doojoon was about to join in on the hug before something out of the corner of his eye stopped him. He turned his gaze to the bedroom door and locked eyes with Junhyung. Their locked gaze held for a moment, Junhyung’s eyes burning with pain, anger, and sadness.
“Why? Why does it have to hurt so much?” Hyunseung sobbed into Kikwang’s neck, the latter shaking his head as his own tears fell.
Doojoon shook his head before breaking his gaze with Junhyung. He wrapped his arms around the other four, watching out of the corner of his eye as Junhyung turned and left, the front door closing a few seconds later.
~*~
Hyunseung jerked awake, his eyes blinking several times until they adjusted to the mostly dark room, a small ray of light drifted in through the open bedroom door. He took in the position of himself and the bodies around him.
He was lying on his back between Kikwang and Doojoon. Kikwang’s arm was resting on his chest and Doojoon had one of his arms wrapped around Hyunseung’s stomach. Dongwoon was snuggled up next to Doojoon’s back, one of his long legs draped across the leader’s thigh and resting atop Hyunseung’s and Yoseob was snuggled up to Kikwang’s back, one of the vocalist’s arms was swung across Kikwang’s stomach with his hand holding Hyunseung’s.
Hyunseung closed his eyes and thought back to earlier. He had cried in his members’ arms, sobbing out “whys” and “it hurts”, until he was weak and exhausted. Doojoon had pulled him down into a laying position, the other three following suit. He had fallen asleep to soothing voices, comforting words, and gentle hands.
Hyunseung wanted to cry again. Not just because of Junhyung, but also because of the pain he was causing his other members. He squeezed his eyes, fighting back the tears, as he bit his lip and carefully removed the limbs from his body. He was halfway down the bunk when Doojoon’s hand landed on his.
“Where are you going?”
Hyunseung did his best to give a reassuring smile. “To the bathroom.”
Doojoon hesitated for a moment before nodding and removing his hand.
Hyunseung exited the room and walked down to the end of the hallway. He rounded the corner and froze as his eyes locked with Junhyung’s.
They stood there for several moments, neither moving nor breaking the gaze.
Hyunseung was sure he had stopped breathing and what felt like the remains of his heart stopping. He stared into those eyes, those eyes that he cherished, that he wanted to get lost in, those eyes that he loved. His throat began to ache from the need to release his sobs and his eyes burned unshed tears. All Hyunseung wanted to do was run into Junhyung’s arms, to hold him and kiss him and love him, but he couldn’t. Junhyung wasn’t his, he never was.
Hyunseung broke eye contact and before he knew what was happening he was shoved up against the wall, tears falling and a sob escaping as the back of his head hit the wall. His hands were pinned above his head and a leg shoved between his. He could smell the alcohol as Junhyung placed his head in the crook of Hyunseung’s neck.
“Seung.” His breath was hot and moist.
“Let me go Junhyung.” Hyunseung twisted his hands. “Now.”
“I can’t.” Junhyung’s lips moved against Hyunseung’s neck.
“Please Jun, let me go.”
Junhyung shook his head as he nipped at Hyunseung’s collarbone.
Hyunseung did his best to keep his sobs back. “Stop it. This can’t happen. Not now, not ever.”
Junhyung placed wet kisses up Hyunseung’s neck. “Why?”
“Because you have Her now.”
Junhyung rested his forehead against Hyunseung’s, the latter closing his eyes. “That doesn’t…”
“And besides, there was nothing real between us anyway.”
Hyunseung winced as Junhyung pressed their foreheads painfully closer together. “Nothing real?” It was said between clenched teeth.
Hyunseung took a deep breath, willing the tears to stop for just a moment, willing himself enough courage to get out these next few sentences so this painful moment could be over.
“It was never real, any of it. It was just two people needing to find an outlet to release the stress of their lives, nothing more.” He winced again as Junhyung’s grip on his wrists tightened. He had to finish this, to get this last part out. For his own peace of mind he had to say it, he needed to convince himself that it really was nothing.
He opened his eyes, hiding how startled he was at the look of anger in Junhyung’s eyes. “It was all a story, a story devoid of any real emotions or feelings. It was a story of lust and desire and that’s all.”
“A story?” Junhyung’s voice came out strangled. “A fucking story?” His eyes bore into Hyunseung’s, his anger and frustration rising. “Nothing real, just lust and desire?”
Hyunseung was angry and confused by Junhyung’s responses. Why wasn’t Junhyung letting him go, didn’t he want them to be apart? “Yes.” He used his legs to push his back off the wall and into Junhyung. “And what do you fucking care anyway? You’re the one who stopped!” He let out a sob, the wide range of emotions he was feeling taking their toll on him. “You’re the one who walked away and ended it.” He pushed back against Junhyung’s head, his tears falling harder and faster than they had in days. “You went out and got what you wanted and now you don’t have to worry anymore.” Hyunseung let out another sob.
Junhyung growled as he shoved Hyunseung, hard, back into the wall, the dancer letting out a cry of pain.
“Junhyung! that’s enough!” Doojoon grabbed Junhyung’s arm. “Let him go now.”
Junhyung continued to glare at Hyunseung.
“Now, Junhyung.”
Junhyung released his grip on Hyunseung’s wrists. Doojoon pulled the rapper far enough away from Hyunseung so that the dancer could retreat, sobs echoing throughout the hall, back into the bedroom.
Doojoon forced Junhyung to look at him. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Junhyung glared. “What are you talking about?”
“You know damn well what I’m talking about. You can’t have them both. You can’t have both worlds.”
Junhyung turned to stare down the hall.
Doojoon sighed. “You have to let him go. You made your choice. You’re safe from ridicule now, so leave him alone.” He took a few steps in the hallway before Junhyung’s voice stopped him.
“Do you think he meant what he said? About it not being real?
Doojoon didn’t turn around. “If it had been real, you wouldn’t have chosen the world that you did.” He continued on his way, not seeing the tears falling down Junhyung’s cheeks.