*let's makeout before your mom cracks down*
dude i'm in such a shitty mood right now its not even funny. my dad was basically an hour late picking me up from work. i have a migraine and i just want things to be going the way i want them to. i can't find LOTR2 and i can't apparate my boyfriend here. i need someone who can make my shitty day ok. here. with me. not a 40 minute drive away. my parents are so controlling. i hate it. they manipulate me to do chores to see him and then when i can, they get mad if the plan changes slightly. then i feel bad and get in a put-out mood and bring down the date. i would never be allowed to sleep over at his house or vice versa even though i've talked to my parents about how cody and i built our relationship on trust and his respect of my boundaries and so naturally, sleeping over shouldn't worry them right? wrong. they're so irritating i want to shoot them sometimes. i can't lie down on his lap when i'm tired in the car. it freaks my dad out when i kiss him on the mouth. i'm pretty sure he called it obscene. WTF? damn parents need to understand i'm not a ditzy teenager who is gonna run away with my emotions. a 7 month relationship has given me a levelheaded view on the relationship and my overthinking everything effects all my decisions. yet i still feel like i lack their trust that i'm not gonna have sex like, this weekend or something all because i'm gonna spend a few hours with him. for a couple days i kept felling queasy in the morning and by noon it would go away and my mum asked me if i'd had sex and then after responding asked me and you wouldn't lie to me? FUCK NO YOU BITCH! i am trying to keep an honest relationship with them built on trust and yet they can't reciprocate what i want! DAMNIT. all i want is that one night where i can spend the night and just be happy and not filled with activities or what not, just cuddling and all that mushy stuff but my parents think its gonna be a physical free-for-all the way they act. his parents trust me. HIS parents think i live in this cage where i have no freedom. he said his mum would probably ENCOURAGE me dying my hair purple just to prove i didn't live entirely by their rules. and what sucks is that i want to rebel but i CAN'T! because its impossible to. i can't even explain it but what i'd do to rebel affects other people besides me. and because i depend on other people or public transportation to get around the area, i don't have all the freedom i could have if i had my license and a car. cody still doesn't have his license back yet. so he still can't drive. i think i've ranted out all that anger. i got distracted which is probably why but that's the angriest i've been in a LONG time. fuck you parents, i can't wait to leave you. i'd like to run away to the brockways and stay there as my vacation and wish that you couldn't do anything about it. but i dunno how they'd feel about it. i'd need hard facts to convince them that i was staying in an unhealthy environment and needed to get out. i'm sure a mental breakdown would do it. but i haven't had one. i'm gonna stop and find that damn movie. i don't even wanna watch it anymore. but i wanna find it and have the choice to watch it. and i can't sit here anymore. i don't have the patience.
LATER HATERS.
LATER HATERS.