(no subject)
I just went running for 45 minutes, 30 minutes of which took place outside in the blazing 90-degree heat. I lost both of my favourite anklets while running, the two only Stephen's ever noticed me wearing. The sun was like liquid gold.
I thought about bridges as I ran, and tidals waves sweeping over the bridges and crashing them into a river that looked like the Olentangy if it were bluer and cleaner. I saw myself plunging into this river, leaping from banks so high you would call it suicide, and emerging gasping and freezing and cold and exhilerated. Inside I was laughing at the top of my lungs because I felt like THIS was the place I'd been waiting my entire life to be, this was the greatest irrational triumph of my life and ridiculous existence. And as I ran, sweat coursed over me in a such way I felt like I really might have jumped in that river of my dreams.
I have never felt so clean as I do right now. My hair stuck is stuck in dank curls to my neck and sweat is glistening on every curve of my body, and the soles of my feet are filthy and my ankles are covered and scuffed with dust.
I am so miserable I could run away and never, ever come back, but I am so clean and so impossibly free that it doesn't even matter anymore.
Somewhere there is a river, and as soon as I find it I will know it and I will make that plunge... literally, no matter if I'm clothed or in sneakers, no matter where I'm going or what I'm doing.
I wouldn't mind swimming anywhere right now... but it's time for me to shower off the sweat and try to tone down the feralness in my eyes before I go to bellydancing.
I thought about bridges as I ran, and tidals waves sweeping over the bridges and crashing them into a river that looked like the Olentangy if it were bluer and cleaner. I saw myself plunging into this river, leaping from banks so high you would call it suicide, and emerging gasping and freezing and cold and exhilerated. Inside I was laughing at the top of my lungs because I felt like THIS was the place I'd been waiting my entire life to be, this was the greatest irrational triumph of my life and ridiculous existence. And as I ran, sweat coursed over me in a such way I felt like I really might have jumped in that river of my dreams.
I have never felt so clean as I do right now. My hair stuck is stuck in dank curls to my neck and sweat is glistening on every curve of my body, and the soles of my feet are filthy and my ankles are covered and scuffed with dust.
I am so miserable I could run away and never, ever come back, but I am so clean and so impossibly free that it doesn't even matter anymore.
Somewhere there is a river, and as soon as I find it I will know it and I will make that plunge... literally, no matter if I'm clothed or in sneakers, no matter where I'm going or what I'm doing.
I wouldn't mind swimming anywhere right now... but it's time for me to shower off the sweat and try to tone down the feralness in my eyes before I go to bellydancing.