(no subject)
If today gets any worse I am going to find an unsuspecting god and PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE! Okay seriously not, I'd probably just sniffle and try to hide my face in their shirt... but still. It's starting to get ridiculous here. I'm just waiting for that banana peel that I know has my name on it, or that big pit spikes on it somebody surely accidentally dug in my yard last night. :P I'm almost afraid to go outside because the last thing I did before I got here was trip on the steps, inflicting a warm fuzzy pain in my legs and inciting a number of stares. Now I admit, I would have stared at me too if I'd heard me yelp that very genuine "WHAT!", but still. These were not the kind of stares you want to be getting from anyone. At least I got home before it started raining... or maybe it's bad that I missed out on that. So many things seem bad at the moment. The house smells awful and there are people on the roof. But, as usual, the show must go on.
Heh, I decidedly regret not being any fun on LJ anymore. It used to be such a playful thing where I'd eagerly read all about everybody's lives, and also get never-ending comment convos running in unsuspecting journals. Now I barely look at my friends list once every few weeks, and only then to check on people I might be worried about. I feel like I've gotten pretty damn emo, too. I have little goodness to report. I wish I could say that'd be changing shortly and that the generally perkier Singing Wren will be back, but I can't. I don't know. You are not the only ones bewildered by the whole situation.
I want to thank those of you who have been reaching out to me lately. I am amazed at the level of respect and sensitivity with which you have figured out how to do this. I generally do not welcome such advances from anyone... If it's not explicitly written on LJ, it almost always means I don't want to talk about it with you. But somehow that has not deterred many of you from occasionally reminding me that you care anyway, even if you don't know all of what's up and even if I'm not volunteering. This is amazing.
I am sorry I have not been up to returning phone calls, but I appreciate the messages that you have left me. Even those quick "Bitch where the hell are you?"s mean something to me. I thought I was going to cry when I got your awesome musical message, Malik, and Arn, I literally felt like you were hugging me as you spoke. I am also happy for those of you who have not said anything specific but have simply started speaking to me or reaching out to ME more often than usual. The knowledge that you know I will be there for you heals me more than anything, makes me feel full and complete even when so many other parts of life seem empty. I want to listen to you if you are willing to talk to me. One of the most sincere compliments you can give me is to reach out to me, trusting that I will do my best to take the hand you extend. Sometimes I admittedly fail at this or might not be quite strong enough to life you, but rest assured that I will certainly try my damnedest either way. You guys meana lot to me. Even when I am sulking and feeling sorry for myself and not reminding you as I should be.
I can't believe I've taken such a long study break, though... damn, am I scattered!
Wanted to add a closing thank you to Ashley for randomly Iming me today; talking to you on IM made me feel cheerful and excited for the first time all day. :)
Heh, I decidedly regret not being any fun on LJ anymore. It used to be such a playful thing where I'd eagerly read all about everybody's lives, and also get never-ending comment convos running in unsuspecting journals. Now I barely look at my friends list once every few weeks, and only then to check on people I might be worried about. I feel like I've gotten pretty damn emo, too. I have little goodness to report. I wish I could say that'd be changing shortly and that the generally perkier Singing Wren will be back, but I can't. I don't know. You are not the only ones bewildered by the whole situation.
I want to thank those of you who have been reaching out to me lately. I am amazed at the level of respect and sensitivity with which you have figured out how to do this. I generally do not welcome such advances from anyone... If it's not explicitly written on LJ, it almost always means I don't want to talk about it with you. But somehow that has not deterred many of you from occasionally reminding me that you care anyway, even if you don't know all of what's up and even if I'm not volunteering. This is amazing.
I am sorry I have not been up to returning phone calls, but I appreciate the messages that you have left me. Even those quick "Bitch where the hell are you?"s mean something to me. I thought I was going to cry when I got your awesome musical message, Malik, and Arn, I literally felt like you were hugging me as you spoke. I am also happy for those of you who have not said anything specific but have simply started speaking to me or reaching out to ME more often than usual. The knowledge that you know I will be there for you heals me more than anything, makes me feel full and complete even when so many other parts of life seem empty. I want to listen to you if you are willing to talk to me. One of the most sincere compliments you can give me is to reach out to me, trusting that I will do my best to take the hand you extend. Sometimes I admittedly fail at this or might not be quite strong enough to life you, but rest assured that I will certainly try my damnedest either way. You guys meana lot to me. Even when I am sulking and feeling sorry for myself and not reminding you as I should be.
I can't believe I've taken such a long study break, though... damn, am I scattered!
Wanted to add a closing thank you to Ashley for randomly Iming me today; talking to you on IM made me feel cheerful and excited for the first time all day. :)