I want to die.
I want to fucking kill myself. I dont know how to handle this. I know one solution... no, two, but until I can talk to someone, I have one solution. Im scared, pissed off, and near tears. Someone fuckin help me, I fucked up. Real bad. Worse than any other time I can remember. I thought Id be fine after days and days of emotional conflict and whatnot, but not only am I fucking traumatized, but now... the shit has hit the fan. I dont know what to tell people. Should I start with the truth? Although the only reason I didnt tell anyone in the first place is because I know you all better than you think. If this werent bad enough, the criticism from all of you would be bad enough to push me off the edge. I should have died last summer. I dont know why I didnt. And seeing as how I didnt die then, I should have died March 30th. I blame Caitlyn for me being here. I should have fucking died, and I wish I had.