Keep Swimming

[sinenox]

Alright then. I just sent my sister off on her train back to Boston and with that my Thanksgiving is done. It's been a week of family and food and travel and drama but it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. Our meal went very well in spite of being gluten free, soy free and vegan (except for the turkey and ham, for which there was a

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[sinenox]

I was lucky enough to have a good role model for that talk. My grandfather got cancer a couple of times, including breast cancer, before they finally realized there was something wrong with him and tested him for Celiac. My grandparents (knowing that I had been sick since childhood) then confronted me every time they saw me, gently but firmly. I remember saying all of the horrible things that people say to me now. "I'd rather die (awful, in hindsight...though my favorite food has always been bread)/it couldn't be that/the symptoms aren't exactly right..." etc. They even gave me a horrible little book on making simple meals gluten free. I came around a few years later when I just couldn't function and I've learned that sometimes that's what it takes.

My mother and my sister both share some symptoms and I've been on them in a similar way. They were both tested dutifully and much better sports about it but then they're immersed in a culture in which this medical stuff is important and understood. My sister, the EMT, has still got some symptoms that are mighty weird but different and her genetic test came back negative (but then so did mine) so she has put off the endoscopy though she assures me that she is willing to have it. She's considering trying the diet. ((I'm singing this all to myself as I write it like Maria Bamford because that's what I do to stay awake when I read papers.)) My mother was diagnosed although she doesn't get many symptoms and she has been good with it but somewhat depressed I can tell. I try to be very supportive but she's somewhat defiant about it.

My father shows some extreme symptoms of something (he's losing his mind a bit) but he's militant in his refusal to have any tests and in fact goes so far as to continuously inform me and my mother that our diets are a major hassle to him. In short, he's a dick. His fear helps him to rationalize going to quack doctors and mixing medications dangerously. He wont listen to us about medical things and he's going to pay for his hateful ignorance with his life, we suspect. If you have suggestions on this front, I'd appreciate them. My lesson of the last few years has been that trying to reason with the AMS can be fruitless.

My grandparents are a bit bizarre - my grandmother plays the traditional role of doting on my grandfather and he does nothing for himself. She also resents his diet and hasn't done much research on it (he's the internet savvy one but doesn't research himself) though I should mention that she really figured it out to begin with. I had to tell her this Tgiving that her avoidance of soy lecithin for years was unnecessary because it was very, very unlikely that he was reacting to that and she didn't take that very well (she was a bit upset) but I think she believed me.

The talk sucks but I focus on the long term consequences of ignoring it, how it can be so common when they haven't heard about it and how different the symptoms can be. I also offer the talk to people I eat with when they inevitably ask about it and I don't mind since I've helped a number of people find it in themselves or friends. One person who found out they had it refused to believe it, didn't find the experiment so funny anymore and resumed their regular diet in denial. There's only so much you can do but for family I push a little harder.

Sorry for the long rant!