unexpected tendencies
As many of us once did, when I would nightmares as a child, little 6 year old me would creep out of bed to travel to my parents bedroom. After a few minutes of hesitation to wake them up to crawl into their bed, I would immediatley fall asleep.
I would get this feeling of security from being with them, like nothing could hurt me when they were there to protect me from whatever it was I was afraid of.
As I've grown, my fears get magnified into aspects larger then I have imagined them to be. I can't receive that feeling of security. That simple yet now complicated light of safety. My life is building up into things I can't control anymore.
I'm having unexpected tendencies to control the smaller parts of life the only way I know how. It's not for the best, but it's the only thing i feel like i have control over. I want to feel in control.