someone elses dream..
if theres one thing that today has taught me...its the final realization that i honestly hate the "great" outdoors. i biked to the fathers house from work today...7 miles or so..it would have been fucking awesome if the wind hadnt been blowing in my face (and for some reason changing directions so that whenever i went down a hill, id still have to pedal, or risk losing speed) and the fucking sun was sitting in the sky, beating down on me..blinding and burning me....and then laughing in my face.
all i can say is, fuck off sunshine....FUCK OFF!!!!
im considering telling my friends that i cant go on the camping trip we were planning for the end of april. by that time, alot of the bugs (aka wasps..eew) are going to be out...its going to be fucking sunny most of the time....and i know for a fact that im going to spend all of the 3 or 4 days out in the fucking middle of nowhere----running for my life from damn fucking wasps. id run blindly in panic..all the while exhausting myself, and at the same time building up this incredible fit of anger..hate, at that stupid fucking bug for scaring the shit out of me..and myself, for being such a chickenshit failure....
and then like a baby my rage becomes so much that i cant do anything but collapse in tears.
that..or run myself off a cliff. id prefer the cliff...if its high enough, i might be able to get a nice view of the scenery as i fall to my death.
something good is happening tomorrow. this dude from work is gonna hook me up with de molta. (my spanish spellling-pronounciation still sucks) which reminds me that i need to pick up some cigarettes and rolling papers.
i lost my nametag for work somewhere in the dark recesses of random shit piled up in my car....and lately ive just lived with a piece of paper the size of a credit card stapled to my apron saying 'lydia'...but im sick of that. so today i made a new one.....it says 'my name should be here' ..i like it. and im going to keep that one until someone yells at me.
fuckers.
and with that..i have nothing more to say...
all i can say is, fuck off sunshine....FUCK OFF!!!!
im considering telling my friends that i cant go on the camping trip we were planning for the end of april. by that time, alot of the bugs (aka wasps..eew) are going to be out...its going to be fucking sunny most of the time....and i know for a fact that im going to spend all of the 3 or 4 days out in the fucking middle of nowhere----running for my life from damn fucking wasps. id run blindly in panic..all the while exhausting myself, and at the same time building up this incredible fit of anger..hate, at that stupid fucking bug for scaring the shit out of me..and myself, for being such a chickenshit failure....
and then like a baby my rage becomes so much that i cant do anything but collapse in tears.
that..or run myself off a cliff. id prefer the cliff...if its high enough, i might be able to get a nice view of the scenery as i fall to my death.
something good is happening tomorrow. this dude from work is gonna hook me up with de molta. (my spanish spellling-pronounciation still sucks) which reminds me that i need to pick up some cigarettes and rolling papers.
i lost my nametag for work somewhere in the dark recesses of random shit piled up in my car....and lately ive just lived with a piece of paper the size of a credit card stapled to my apron saying 'lydia'...but im sick of that. so today i made a new one.....it says 'my name should be here' ..i like it. and im going to keep that one until someone yells at me.
fuckers.
and with that..i have nothing more to say...