Azn la!

[sin_dot_com]

I cut my nails yesterday. I know this isn't a big deal to the general population, but this is an outstanding event to have occurred. Now, typing is weird and paddy and my fingers aren't as long as I remember. They were huge. I can make a fist now.

Wow.

For your penile pleasure, here is an inflatable Jesus lovedoll.

Comments

[blasphemy]

...I wonder if they post internationally. *cough*

[sin_dot_com]

The ad is very persuasive. I'm actually tempted to get one.

For kicks, yes. Shits and giggles.

[blasphemy]

I'd like to buy one and take it with me on a world trip. Photos with pleasure Jesus around the globe.

Or I'd leave it in an unmarked suitcase in Town Hall station. :)

[sin_dot_com]

Now that would be an amazing find for the bomb squad.

Vibrators apparently cause a lot of trouble in airport security too, they inadvertently go off or the x-ray guys don't recognise it. They say they don't listen for ticking any more (that is so last century), it's the humming that's possibly dangerous.

[blasphemy]

My sister used to work at the international airport on security detail. She's told me some fascinating stories about the various devices she's come across. I think the hardest part would be asking how some of the stranger devices are used. Jesus is fairly straight forward though.

[sin_dot_com]

I had a bit of an ordeal with a package posted from america a few years ago... A friend sent over some paddles and toys that you'd rather keep to yourself, but the addressee only had my nickname on it, and quarantine had to go through some complicated process which cost me a bit more than I'd've liked back then...

What sort of devices need to be explained?

[blasphemy]

You asked... so I'll have a quick search.

[sin_dot_com]

#1 - I totally understand that they'd make one, but a pussy on one's heel? Not as easy to explain as stigmata. Also, a real foot fetishist would find that foot repulsive... The shoe's the same colour as and is flush with the foot. It does get points for the nails though. Those are nice nails.
#2 - I think it's a clit vibrator. For your car. I suppose people do it, as long as it doesn't distract them too much. Driving alone is actually quite private at night, when no one can see in.
#3 - WTF. It doesn't look too suss in luggage, but it really doesn't look effective as a sex toy... Assuming that it is indeed a sex toy. It could be a microphone? An LED reading light? A hand model showing off hand positions?
#4 - Now this is fantastic. When I get an iPod, you're getting me one. I suppose it pulses in time with the music? Or has the vibration programmed in as 'songs'? The controller's a bit chunky though.

[blasphemy]

#1 - I believe it's a dual use item. We know that the vagina has a clear purpose; as a large rubber foot... well it must be used for something.
#2 - It's meant to imitate a sucking mouth. The slightly pink tinge to the end is meant to represent lips. They say that the 12v DC lighter plug makes it best suited to truckers.
#3 - Apparently this item responds to touch. It reciprocates curious behavior. If you think that's interesting, just imagine what you could do with the instruction manual.
#4 - Steve Jobs gets lonely.

Thanks for playing. :p

[sin_dot_com]

#1 - For licking.
#2 - Truckers eh? I don't see the mouth (they usually do better modelling), and it's a very feminine colour. I suppose truckers get lonely on their long, speedy drives.
#3 - That's the CUTEST! It's like a little pet. Now what about the manual?
#4 - Steve Jobs?

[blasphemy]

*mutter*

Steve Jobs is the CEO of Apple... having explained that, I now feel like a nerd.

[sin_dot_com]

I am so sorry! I didn't know!

I have nothing against mac and its friends. I don't play pc games and I have friends with macs!

(It's like trying to say how you're ok with gay people - everyone's got a gay friend.)

[blasphemy]

You thought I was pro mac... that's fantastic. I could have told you I've developed liver cancer and had the same response.

I have an irrational hatred of macs. I'm sure they're great, but the sight of white plastic makes my eyes glaze over. It's probably a fear of the ensuing compulsory conversation with the owner about how fantastic their mac is.

[sin_dot_com]

I know the prejudices against macs. I'm keeping my bases covered. Let's not talk about macs, seeing as it's one topic neither of us need or want to delve into.

The miracle oil of Guilford should really be used to lube up your Jesus doll.

[blasphemy]

[sin_dot_com]

Oh, Tinky Winky, you were always the gayest.