"Our Lives" - now open for criticism!
I figure it's time that I finally put my own community to use. Here are the prologue and first three chapters of Our Lives, the story I began mid-2009 before a computer crash forced me into a hiatus.
What I'd like criticism for most:
- the voice of the characters; do they sound appropriate for their ages and other circumstances? Especially Nicole and Donavon.
- the pictures; do the captions adequately describe what's going on?
But, as always, you're welcome to criticize anything else you want me to consider.
Teasers and links to each individual chapter are below the cut
No warnings, 35 pics.
( Read more... )
Warnings: Death, sexism spouted from the mouth of an 11-year-old boy, and 54 pictures all behind the cut.
( I want to thank you / For giving me the best day of my life. )
Warnings: mentions of a topic some might consider sensitive, and 22 pictures.
( Gravity released me / And don't ever hold me down. / Now my feet won't touch the ground. )
Warnings: a teacher who neglects her students' educational needs, and 53 pictures under the cut.
( You're the most colorful thing that I've seen. )
What I'd like criticism for most:
- the voice of the characters; do they sound appropriate for their ages and other circumstances? Especially Nicole and Donavon.
- the pictures; do the captions adequately describe what's going on?
But, as always, you're welcome to criticize anything else you want me to consider.
Teasers and links to each individual chapter are below the cut
No warnings, 35 pics.
( Read more... )
Warnings: Death, sexism spouted from the mouth of an 11-year-old boy, and 54 pictures all behind the cut.
( I want to thank you / For giving me the best day of my life. )
Warnings: mentions of a topic some might consider sensitive, and 22 pictures.
( Gravity released me / And don't ever hold me down. / Now my feet won't touch the ground. )
Warnings: a teacher who neglects her students' educational needs, and 53 pictures under the cut.
( You're the most colorful thing that I've seen. )